Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

Confessions 1

When Jack was a newborn, he had horrible GERD (reflux). He refused to sleep on me and only wanted to be in a bassinet. Our pediatrician said we needed to elevate him to help with the reflux.

After trying all modes of elevation, we finally propped the head of his bassinet up on a stack of books. It worked, but during the night he would slide down to the foot of the bassinet and wake up.

Hand to God, over the crib sheet, we had anti-skid shelf liner. I wish in our sleep-deprived, new-parent state, we had thought to take a photo of our newborn sleeping in a janky bassinet covered with shelf liner.

Confessions 2

On my walking/running route, there is a house with a mailbox that has the entire address, including the city on it in little sticky numbers/letters.

Why, oh why, would you need to add the city to your mailbox? Does the mailperson not know in which city they deliver mail? Will someone be walking by thinking “damn, where in the heck am I? If only someone could remind me of the city I’m in”.

Confessions 3

The only part I like about wearing a face mask is that it covers all my acne scars. Once this pandemic is over, I’m tempted to just keep wearing it. My forehead is pretty clear and I will ROCK that mask for years.

Confessions 4

There is a guy who runs shirtless in our area wearing a really interesting face mask (like this one). Troy tells me it is to mimic altitude, so the guy is probably training for some endurance challenge.

He’s super fit, so I refer to him as “Hot Bane”.

Confessions 5

I don’t like playing with my kids. It’s boring, they have each other, and I was raised in the ’80s which meant it was “go entertain yo damn self”. 

I have never searched Pinterest for fun games or activities to do with them. YOU HAVE TOYS in your room. There are laundry baskets, being outside, and a shovel. Figure it OUT.

Confessions 6

The silliest thing I have missed during four months of lockdown is buying bagged ice. It’s SO dumb, and very much a first-world problem.

I drink an iced coffee every single day of the year. Our freezer does not have an ice maker, and it’s pretty packed so I hate using those fill your own ice cube trays (even though ours has a cover).

My dad’s freezer downstairs has an ice maker, but NINE months ago he was smoking some salmon and cooled a tray of it in the fridge, uncovered…overnight.

Despite Troy and I cleaning the fridge and freezer SIX times with various cleaning solutions, boxes and bowls of baking soda, and even bleach, his ice still takes like smoked salmon.

You only gulp down “iced salmon coffee” once. That is not a mistake one makes again.

Confessions 7

Three kids on Razor scooters flew past me while I was walking up a hill. Before I knew what was happening, I had yelled “you kids need helmets” as they passed me.

So, I’m officially old.

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?