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Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

A woman with a finger up to her mouth saying "shhhhh"

Confession 1

I get 15-25 emails a day from people who want me to promote their crappy products for free, place links to their articles on my website, or a thousand other random things that come with owning a digital-based business. 

I usually ignore them because they’re so frequent, but occasionally I respond that I’m not interested. The senders of these emails can be very aggressive and will start sending me “follow up” emails within 36 hours. I got one on Christmas morning and the sender was incensed that I hadn’t responded by the next day.

Usually, I delete or brush off the follow-ups, but I had one woman send me one the other day that made my blood boil. This woman does not know me, I have no interest in her product, and yet she passive-aggressively referred to me as “honey” in the email. “Honey, I know you’re busy but…”. UM NO. I’m not your honey. YOU DON’T KNOW ME, and chances are I’m older than you, so shove it up your butt.

Confession 2

This fall, someone on our local FB group was looking to purchase local eggs. I had an extra dozen but decided to look at this woman’s profile for a bit. I’m nosy like that!

Her profile photo was of a yard sign for a local politician who is extremely horrifying, and she followed some accounts that I think demonstrate the worst in humanity. I never responded to her question because my chickens do not support hate. My girls and their butt nuggets promote joy and equity.

Confession 3

After 10 months in quarantine with my kids, I no longer have empathy when they get hurt. They hurt themselves and freak out multiple times a day, so at this point, I’m just mad. STOP GETTING HURT.

Confession 4

I don’t think I have ever had aspirin in my life. Tylenol, yes. Ibuprofen, yes. Aspirin? I don’t think so. Is that weird?

Confession 5

I’m in awe of pro football players who have long hair and can comfortably wear football helmets. I cannot even tolerate my tiny ponytail poking through the hole in a baseball cap. And no one is even trying to tackle or knock me down while I’m wearing it.

Confession 6

At what point did we all agree that there is no one correct way to spell “grey/gray”? We’re just ok with the fact that it is interchangeable? Pick a lane English language! Pick a lane.

Confession 7

For the last few months, I have been ordering groceries for pick up at our local store. I have a grocery net in the back of my car. When the workers bring my groceries out to the car, I can tell you based on their gender if they’ll put the bags IN the grocery net, or simply BY it.

The female employees will always put the bags inside the net. The males? Right next to it or behind it. A male employee means I either need to get out and rearrange everything before I leave, or the bags will tip over and I’m chasing limes around my trunk when I get home.

Confession 8

Bennett has tons of nicknames in our house, but my favorite is the one Jack gave him after reading The Hunger Games. For a few weeks, Bennett was referred to as “Bennett Everstink”.

 

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

 

Want more confessions? Read more here, herehereherehere, and here. Or read the whole darn archive here.

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31 comments on “Confessions”

  1. I totally support knowing your customer or neighbor. Unlike a School, employer or a govt office, you DO get to choose your customers.

    Your point about men vs. women… we provide free outrigger canoeing in the Hudson River and I know whether the newbies are going to be great just by sex because men don’t listen to instruction from women and our volunteers tend to be women so and I’m the woman steers person so of course they do t listen and our boat doesn’t go anywhere. OTOH, when it’s women we are taking out, it tends to go well. 

    My confession this month? I’ve stopped doing dishes. My husband does allll of them. Hehehe. 

    • Yep, private “business” means I can do whatever I want. LOL

      The canoeing “mansplaining” sounds so frustrating! Especially when you know it’s coming. Tell them to stop being so basic.

      Dishes are the worst. Well done.

  2. You and your chickens are my peeps.

  3. Australian here. I think that spelling thing is just the US that went rogue. The rest of the English speaking world uses the regular spelling eg grey, realise, colour, centre, oestrogen, diarrhoea (that escalated quickly!) I have a game called Word Cookies on my phone where you have to make words with a given set of letters. It’s fantastic fun to entertain kids for a few minutes in a waiting room or on a bus/train/ferry. Sometimes we’ll be stuck for ages finding a word, only to realise the game wants the US spelling of a word. The frustration is real.

    • We do tend to do that. LOL. I always spell it grey, so I guess I’m fairly rogue myself?

      Word Cookies sounds fun! Also, my spellcheck wants you to spell it “realize”. So funny how little things have evolved over time depending on where you live.

      Also, since you’re Australian, you might want to check out my Aussie friend’s blog Cook It Real Good.

  4. The egg story reminded me of something that happened last night. Now that the holidays are over and I don’t have to isolate so that I can see my family, I’m back to in-person grocery shopping. I went last night to grab a few NYE treats, and the older couple ahead of me had a large order, and it became apparent that they weren’t sure they could afford everything they had at the register, and then indeed asked the cashier to put back a large pork roast. I don’t eat meat, but I try not to bemoan the choices of others, so for a split second, I considered offering to pay for the roast. I am a huge introvert so I don’t know if I actually would have gone through with it, but the moment I thought, “hey maybe it’d be nice if I..,” the woman who was bagging the groceries yanked down her mask, licked her fingers, and then proceeded to use her saliva-coated fingers to open bags for her order. I got out of the store as fast as I could and took a Silkwood shower with wet wipes and hand sanitizer in the car. Think maybe I’ll make a year-end donation to charity instead, or something. EW!

    • Licked her fingers? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! That’s gross even when there isn’t a pandemic going on. Don’t they have those damp little sponge thingies for the bags? Gross! I’m horrified for you and everyone who went through that line.

      • It was WinCo and I was fortunately on the other conveyor belt and bagged my groceries on the (hopefully) safer side. They don’t have those sponges, but having worked at stores which have them… I don’t think they’re much better, honestly!

      • Yeah sponges are cesspools of germs and I cringe when I see them in kitchens. I’m scared to ask…how often are they changed in stores?

  5. I feel a little bad laughing at Bennett’s nickname since I have (obviously) never met him.  But that is funny!

    When I visit Newfoundland, I am alway caught off-guard the first few times a cashier calls me “my love”.  I’m older than you are, and it is REALLY WEIRD getting called “my love” by a teenager at McDonald’s!!!!!

    I wonder if the person who rated eggs follows your blog and recognizes herself here.  You should keep creeping and see if her profile pic and privacy settings suddenly change! 

    • You can’t use a business FB page in groups, so I only have a personal FB page so I can be in a few different FB groups. And my personal page is not tied to my business page…so chances are she has no idea who I am.

      “My love” would definitely make me do a double-take!

  6. My husband and I were given a hand-me-down Christmas tree when we first got married, 14 years ago.  It was a cheap tree and has since lost probably 2/3 of its needles.  It may also lean slightly.  My kids have been asking to get a new tree and before Christmas this year they even had my husband on board.  I told them we would buy a new one after Christmas, when they were on sale.

    Then, while packing up the Christmas decorations, I looked at the tree and realized something.  I.  Don’t. Care.  I don’t care about having a nice tree.  We cover it with enough ornaments and paper chains that you barely notice that you can see straight through it.  

    My kids tried to protest, but conveniently it was the same day we had spent a couple of hours and quite a bit of money at the bicycle shop, buying them all three new bikes, so I told them I’d rather spend the money on bikes than a Christmas tree and that was that!

    • new bikes > new tree (no question!)

      Your story made me smile thinking about our first Christmas tree. It too was a hand me down, but our apartment was too small for it. It was a really fluffy tree and took up too much space. Troy finally realized if we only built the front half of it, we could shove it against the wall. It was so dang clever and you had to go to the side of it to realize it wasn’t a full tree.

  7. There is only one way to spell grey. Gray is US spelling, it’s never gray here, it’s always grey (and it’s England, it’s grey a lot!).

    Never be behind a man in the queue at a supermarket, they never pack until after they’ve paid, how hard is it to pack your shopping as it’s being scanned? While I’m on it, why are you not arranging your shopping on the conveyor thingie in the order it needs to be packed? Make live easier for yourself and less annoying for me….

    Thanks Sarah, I clearly needed that! And I’m really glad that your girls only feed nice people!

    • I’ve always spelled it “grey” but I know my spellcheck will accept both.

      So, do you have to bag your own groceries over there? There are a few stores here that require you to do it, but most have a helper that do it for you.

      • I’m so here for the cross cultural understanding! I was always told that gray was the American spelling but you’re just more flexible! Mostly we do our own packing, some shops have packers if you ask for help but I hate other people packing for me, they always stuff it in any old way and because I have to carry it home it has to be balanced right! It’s one of the few things I’m a control freak about. When I was in the US, I was confused by all the people trying to pack my shopping!

  8. Yes, yes, yes to #1. I live in Greeley, it’s always been known as a hick town, but these 20 year old cashiers call me honey, as if I were twelve years old!! 

    I wanna say, oh that’s fine honey child, with a lot of passive aggressive tone in my voice, but I don’t. I just nod politely instead because I was brought up to not say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say. But one day, my husband will not be able to talk me off that ledge. One day, children, one day. 

    • I think you need to start throwing around some “bless your hearts”! 🙂

    • Hey, I live in Greeley too!

      I really want to come back with “oh, thanks, sweetie, bless your heart!”, but yea, politeness gets in the way… 🙂

      • That’s so cool! Sarah’s got fans around the world it seems! 😬 I love it! I’ve lived all around the world (Navy brat) and this is the only town I’ve ever lived in that cashiers do that. Ah well. They could be saying “B#tch, get outta here,” so I’d rather take the condescending “honey,” than anything else. Lol

  9. Ha! I love these 🙂 especially the eggs!

    I always spell grey with an e. But I think it’s more commonly gray in American and grey in England. Spelling it with an a just weirds me out.

  10. Sitting at the dermatologist office for my yearly holy moly skin check. I always feel like a beached whale being examined by a curious team of experts. 
    Why can’t people read their prescription bottles to see if there are refills before running out of pills. I don’t control what is left in your bottle. You take your meds – you are an adult. Start acting like one. 
    I answer the phone at work and because people have been on hold they feel like they can finish their rant, conversation or scream at whoever is in the room with them before finally acknowledging me who is trying to answer the 9 lines while accurately counting the pills. 
    People who keep money tucked inside bras or or or underwear?!? If you have to reach for it and it’s damp or wet I’ll get a little sick behind my mask. 
    There’s more but the ominous knock on the dermatologist door just sounded!

    • I hope the mole check went well, and that reminds me to schedule one soon!

      I’m sure people are super “sweet” when you can’t refill their meds on demand. Grrrr

      I know people who keep keys in their bras when they workout, but I would never expect money in there or underwear and then actually HANDING it to someone. Gross!