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If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

Confession 1

First kid: gets preschool prep books to learn letters and counting. Watches some educational PBS shows to understand numbers and letters. I constantly sang educational songs with him when we were in the car. I would point out letters and numbers on signs during our daily commute to work/daycare.

Second kid: is learning numbers from the microwave because I make him heat up his own breakfast. When it was time to teach him the ABCs we realized he already somehow knew them. So, that worked out in my favor!

Confession 2

I’ve never seen When Harry Met Sally. I hate romantic comedies. 

Confession 3

Three-year-olds are quite insistent and hate the phrase “I don’t know” when you ask them a question. Which is why my son thinks that the jet wash in the sky is actually the poop from a jet.

He would not accept my scientific explanation of jet wash and how it killed Goose and it was Ice Man’s fault and OMG poor Meg Ryan!

Confession 4

My favorite song at church is Lord of the Dance. I had been trying to get our music director to play it for years but he never would.

When I planned my mom’s funeral we needed a song so I picked that one because I liked it. She didn’t really go to church and didn’t have a preference.

And then other people at the funeral heard the song and really liked it and started requesting it to be played during church. Once it started getting played people told our music director how it was THEIR favorite song. And now it is in regular rotation and everyone sings it with so much happiness.

So yeah. I used my mom’s funeral to get my favorite song added to our church’s repertoire.  

Confession 5

My three-year-old walked into the bathroom as I was getting out of the shower the other day and said “why do your boobs just look like nipples”.

First off, thanks, kid. Really boosting my self-esteem. Second, they look like that BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR BROTHER.

Confession 6

Troy hates the Berenstein Bears books. HATES them.

The story always goes like this: something is wrong, then Papa Bear comes in and makes it 10x worse and Mama has to fix it. Troy says “they make the dad look like such a screw up who constantly needs rescuing”.

And I’m like um…

Confession 7

I overheard a mom at the grocery store tell her two kids that white eggs were brown eggs that they had bleached white.

I almost called CPS.

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

About Sarah

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  1. Bernstein Bear books were based on my Dad in real life. He’s a lovable guy but don’t ever ask him to fix anything! I think this is why I married a guy who can fix anything. I told my kids whatever popped into my head when they asked crazy questions. Windshield wipers are cars waving to each other, the two cows “getting busy” in the field were playing leapfrog wrong, if you don’t leave your shoes tied and on you’ll lose a leg like cousin Mabel the diabetic who eats whole cheesecakes and real Coke for dinner. The first kid/second kid thing is so true. In truth he learned so much from his sister who was excited to teach him what she learned at school.

  2. Ok here’s a confession to do with confession. When I was 10 and did my first confession I couldn’t think of anything I’d done wrong (i’ve clearly always been deluded) SO I made it up. Yep – 10 year old me lied in confession… I better go back and confess to that LOL

  3. Okay.  My turn.

    1.)  I’m not a kid person.  I don’t really like them and never have.  All my friends couldn’t wait to babysit.  I dreaded it, because, well . . .kids.  I’ve only liked two kids since I became an adult – my oldest niece and incidentally, her youngest boy.

    2.)  I don’t like holding babies and rarely think they are cute.  I know.  I can’t believe I’m admitting it.

    3.) I have never seen any episode in the following:  “Sex in the City”, “Friends”, “Seinfeld” (people always say to me when they find out my name, “Oh, like Elaine in Seinfeld?”  I’m like, “no, like Elaine in me.”

    4.)  I love dogs and they all like me, all except a really creepy family friend’s dog named “Shelby”  It was a corgi and used to peer around corners at me with a weird look on its face.

    5.)  I don’t like Quentin T, but did see Pulp Fiction, though I wasn’t impressed.

    I think that’s it for now.  🙂

    1. The idea of the dog peering around the corner looking at you like a creeper is equal parts horrifying and hilarious! 🙂

    2. I only think my own kids are cute. I’ll admit it. I dislike going to the public library when there’s a lot of kids there, and people are like, “You have four kids, how can you not like kids?” I always reply, “I like MY kids. Others, on a case-by-case basis.” And only my babies were cute, sorry everybody else who’s had a baby.

  4. My first child has like 12 baby books, all filled out perfectly with weight, when rolled over, pictures, first poop, first solid food….
    Second baby has a book, birth weight at when he had his first baby sitter (two weeks) and nothing else…
    Let’s not even mention the third child.