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Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started! 

A woman with a finger up to her mouth saying "shhhhh"

Confession 1

“Drive-thru” culture is huge in the Pacific Northwest. I’m not talking about fast food, but rather drive-thru options at small local coffee stands, pharmacies, banks, and even places like dry cleaners. When we moved to Los Angeles, I was shocked at how often I had to get out of my car to run errands.

A fantastic side-effect of all these drive-thrus is that most of them keep a dish of dog treats by the window for four-legged passengers. It makes me so happy to be behind a vehicle and see dog noses popping out of open windows “asking” for a Milk Bone. We don’t deserve dogs.

Confession 2

In my excitement over Bennett starting kindergarten, I forgot about my nemesis of primary education – the dreaded Reading Log. I don’t fault teachers for doing these, as reading is vastly important for a child’s development. But I hate.the.reading.log.

When Jack was in K-3, the reading log involved listing everything the child had read that day. It was so silly. But thankfully, Jack read so much in class when he was done with his work, that after a few weeks his first and second-grade teachers told me I no longer needed to submit reading logs for him.

This agreement was in place as long as I never told anyone that we had made that deal. Oops. Snitches get stitches.

Bennett’s kinder teacher (whom we LOVE)  just has us color in a little icon on a worksheet anytime he reads 20+ minutes during that day. We no longer have to list the name of the books, but there is something in my deepest soul that makes me want to shred that reading log.

Confession 3

When I scheduled my mammogram, the woman from the imaging center told me not to wear deodorant that morning or use any lotion. I quickly said “no problem” and hung up.

It was only moments later that I realized never in my life have I put lotion in or near my armpits. Is there an entire hygiene practice that I am missing? Have people secretly been laughing at my dry pits behind my back? “Oh, there goes desert pits Cook again”. 

Confession 4

Bennett’s school has a large open enrollment population (including us). Kids who are openly enrolled must provide their own transportation; there are no busses for these kids. The school’s parking lot is also tiny, so to avoid congestion and because of Covid restrictions, we must drop off and pick up the kids in our cars.

This results in a very long line of cars out on the shoulder in the roadway. To avoid this, or if you have somewhere to be right after school (like we do), you line up 20-30 minutes early to get a “good spot”. 

There are multiple vehicles that get there super early and idle the entire time. The ENTIRE TIME. That’s 20-30 minutes of directly violating the “no idling” sign that is present.

I realize that some vehicles, like those with diesel engines, have a harder time turning over quickly. But I cannot see a reason why a diesel vehicle has to idle for a whopping 30 minutes. Can’t you just turn it on 3-5 minutes before the bell rings?

Confession 5

Dear appliance manufacturers. If you put a button on your product that says “60-minute speed wash”, it would be lovely if the cycle actually took 60 minutes, and not two hours. Please and thank you.

 

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

Want more confessions? Read more herehereherehereherehere, and here. Or read the whole darn archive here.

 

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11 comments on “Confessions”

  1. The “no lotion” rule, as I’m sure you realize by now or someone else has already pointed out, is for your upper torso, including arms, neck, chest, and breasts. The lotion can make it difficult for the machine to get a good read … and *sigh* for the mammo tech to get a good grip on the ladies as they man-handle (ahem, maneuver) them the way they need to. Such fun!

  2. The reading log was invented by Satan.

  3. #3 – When I got my mamogram this year, they had wipes in the changing room to wipe off deodrant if I forgot. I said, “I thought we weren’t allowed to have it on all day?” and the Tech said “I don’t know why they say that, this works fine.”… Since I hate the sticky feeling of not wearing any, I will go that route as long as I go there.

    #5 – I want a dishwasher with a count down. So the days we don’t remember to run it overnight, I can know how close it is to being done.

  4. My library’s summer reading program has participants record title, author, and amount of time read for each day that we want to claim – this includes us adults. I’ve replied to post-summer surveys to complain about the lack of a copy/paste option when a book lasts for multiple days. So I definitely sympathize with you having to do the reading log all year.

  5. 1. I was fully prepared to HATE Ted Lasso. Everyone loves it,  so I assumed I would not. Top 5 times I’ve been hideously wrong. I frick fracking LOVE Ted Lasso. Soccer and kindness are what my heart needs. If I could figure out how to run like I was angry at the grass, I’d take up running. 
    2. I also loathe the appliance timer. Darn “smart” appliances. 5 minutes of wash time left means I can watch at least one episode of Ted Lasso. 
    3. I’ve never been a big fan of candy corn, it hurts my teeth. But this week I tried candy pumpkins, which are delicious and don’t hurt my teeth. Maybe hurt my soul a little, but not my teeth. 
    4. I never realized that the closer I get to 40 directly correlates to the percentage of conversation time spent discussing poop. 

  6. Dearest Desert Pits Cook, 

    I once found a gift card that was expiring but didn’t want anything yet so I bought something of that value then returned it to get a store credit. 

    Also last week I cleaned the door seal of my front loader washing machine for the first time since I got it and ick… I guess we’re supposed to do that more often 😂

  7. This is the 6th kid I’ve done reading logs for K-2 grades.
    When will this misery ever end???
    Oh yeah, only 18 months!!! Yay!

  8. The answer is yes.  Every one of us refers to you secretly as desert pits.  Now you know.

  9. #1 – This was the reason my kids learned so early how to pick up books from the library and use the self checkout machines at the grocery store. I absolutely did not want to get out of the car, but we still needed milk. I was working nights and so usually had my PJs on while picking the kids up from school. I sent them in with my credit card to get milk and they would return with milk… and Pringles. Small price to pay. 

    #2 – After multiple bouts of crying because they were not going to get the monthly sticker for handing in a reading log with a certain number of minutes I began being “generous” with our reading time. There is  almost nothing I hate more than an elementary school reading log. Thank goodness for teacher because I do not have the patience.

    Bonus extra confession – my kids are young adults and I am so happy to not have to deal with Halloween costumes. I love seeing little ones dressed up, especially the homemade costumes, but it is bliss to not have to come up with a way to create a “Black Hole In Deepest Space” costume last minute because the ninja costume has suddenly fallen out of favor. 

  10. I had to laugh at your aversion to reading logs. I’ve been logging all the books I read for over 25 years- title, author and a few sentences about the book. My daughter’s (who is now 34) 4th grade teacher recommended it to both of us at a conference. She said she had been doing it almost her entire life. So far this year I’ve read 119 books. I prefer contemporary fiction but I’ve been rereading classics too. I love your blog when you get personal and your recipes are good too. Thanks!