Home. Again

Many of you who have been reading for awhile know that Troy and rent the house I grew up in from my parents.

Any of you who have been reading this blog since last September know that my mom has MS – Multiple Sclerosis.  She landed herself in the hospital last fall, which turned in to a stay in a long-term care facility for a few weeks.

That was a stressful time for everyone.  My mom wanted to be home, my dad wanted my mom safe (and also wanted her home), and my sister and I who both work full-time set up a visitation schedule that included bringing dinners because my mom was not a fan of the facility’s food.

I distinctly remember driving home one night freaking out.  Is this our family’s future?  At that moment, I called my dad and said “sell the house you live in now, and move in with us”.  My dad laughed and brushed it off, but I persisted.  I needled and pressed.  They both brushed it off for months.

Right after Christmas, I was the first one to family dinner.  While Jack was playing, I asked mom and dad how they were doing.  They glanced at each other and said “we’re managing”, to which I responded “should life be about managing, or enjoying”?

I’m not sure if it was that conversation, or just a culmination of things happening, but they relented, and the planning began.

At this point, the architect has finished the plans, and we’ll be heading towards the permitting process soon.  Construction will likely start in August or September, and god willing, it will be well progressed in time for the November rainy season.

My little family will have the upstairs floor, and a small portion of the existing basement.  The basement will also be pushed out and over to add space; essentially creating a roomy and private one bedroom apartment.  The addition to the side will add another bedroom upstairs, which will become our new master.  It will be nice to have a third upstairs, as the third bedroom was in the basement, leaving us to plan for Jack and #2 (whenever that will happen) sharing a bedroom.

I have some friends who can’t imagine living with their parents, but it has never given me a second of pause.  My family is tight, and we look out for each other.  My parents have been my rock and have been so instrumental in pushing me to follow my dreams.  Their emotional, and at times financial support has made so many things possible in my life.

A friend of mine said that having them move in would be like a way for me to thank them for everything, but I don’t see it like that.  Even if they had never gone above and beyond for me, I’d still want them living with us.  Life is not about paying back what you’ve taken, but rather doing the right thing simply because it is the right thing.  I love my parents and I’m so excited to have them move in with us.  As  challenging as it might at times, it won’t be any more difficult than worrying about them all the time.

When I was 5, my parents bought some property and were planning on building a house.  After all the plans were finalized, they realized the cost would be more than they could afford.  They put that dream on hold, and started looking for a ready built place.  Driving around one day, my dad found this house, and gently “broke in” and looked around.  It was instant love for the whole family.  Even when I left home and lived in other cities and states, I always considered this house my home.  My little town was a fabulous place to grow up, and I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

My parents loved this house as well, and only left it reluctantly in 2007 when it became too much upkeep for them, and it wasn’t accessible for their gimpiness.  They bought a condo next to my mom’s best friend and were fine there for a few years.  Both of them love this house, the town, and the view.  Having them come home again is what is best for everyone.  They get to live where they love, and we get to help them live independently.  We get stability in our living situation, and they get to live with a four-year-old naked superhero who makes everyone smile.  They get homemade meals, and air dried laundry.  We get to be around people we love and respect.  There are only winners in this situation.

Afterall, life should be about living, and not surviving.