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I’m a hypocrite and I’m ok…

…I work all night, and I sleep all day.

Years ago, I was in a Political Science class at Washington State University (go Cougs…meh, I couldn’t even convincingly get that out.  I’m not a “rah rah” school spirit kind of gal), and we were discussing things that drove us crazy.  I piped up saying I hated bigots.  Some smart ass behind me mentioned that hating someone who hates is kind of hypocritical.

Whoops, got me there.

The other night, I woke up to pee, for probably the tenth time, and I was able to see my way to the bathroom by the light of the TV, that was still on at 1 am.   Oh yes my friends, oh yes.

Me, the person who prides herself on having a small carbon footprint.  Me, the person who constantly hounds Troy to remember to turn off the closet light.  Remember this gem?

closet light


I spent a good 15 minutes a day reminding all members of my household who happen to possess penises (are multiple penises referred to as peni?) to TURN OFF THE STUPID LIGHT.

And yet, multiple times a week, I sleep with the TV on in the bedroom alllllll night.  For you see, Troy is gone a lot, and Jack likes to sleep in bed with me when Troy is gone.  And Jack likes the lights on, full blast, all night.  He usually sleeps with an (energy-efficient) lamp on in his room all night.  When he is in our room, I can’t sleep with the lamp on, and Jack refuses a simple nightlight.  We have therefore compromised with the TV.

But I still won’t give up on the fucking closet light.  Henceforth, I’m a big fat hypocrite.

And you know what?  We all are!  So, today, you get the chance to talk about what a huge hypocrite you are.  It’s a lovely release, so let ‘er rip!

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21 comments on “I’m a hypocrite and I’m ok…”

  1. Leaving shoes on in the house.

    I bitch at everyone else when they leave their shoes on, but I do it all the time. My logic? I am the one who cleans the floors. If I want to create work for myself, that is fine, but YOU are not allowed to!

    I use the phrase “Do as I say, not as I do” a lot with my kids (16 & 20) but I can’t think of a single example at the moment!

  2. I used to gripe at my husband to pick up his shoes ALL THE TIME. We have a shoe tray in the entry and anything in excess of that, should go back in our closet…but holy shit, I have the hardest time keeping my shoes picked up and I probably have twice the number of pairs as he does. I eventually gave up. Every now and then one of us picks up all of the shoes, but that probably only happens like once a month.

    • Oh my gosh, the shoe thing drives me BATTY! Troy keeps all his shoes by all the doors and I want to scream. That is why we have closets.

  3. Telling the kids not to waste their money on fast food/junk food, then hitting up Taco Time on the sly :). Taco Time is kinda healthy right?

    • Don’t they call it “Northwest Fresh”? ;-D

      I work with someone who worked at Taco Time for about a year. She said they made everything from scratch every single day. Sounds pretty decent to me!

  4. I constantly hound my mom about her diet soda habit- she has MS and artificial sweeteners can exacerbate her symptoms. Yet I drink at least one Coke or Dr. Pepper a day- my excuse is it’s better because it doesn’t have aspertame. It does have high fructose corn syrup, however, which I avoid like the plague in everything else I consume.

    I should just admit I am powerless to defeat my addiction and move along…

    • I’ve never heard about sweeteners impacting MS (my mom has it too). Interesting! How does she do with heat? That is killer with my mom.

      In terms of pop, I used to have a cherry coke every Sunday at my parent’s house for dinner. My mouth waters thinking about it. Alas, I can’t tolerate it any more because the caffeine would kill me trying to sleep that night.

    • I stopped drinking soda 1.5 years ago. I love it. What really helped me was drinking La Croix and I got a Soda Stream for Chirstmas. I just learned that I was craving the fizz. I don’t use any of the syrups the Soda Stream came with. I just add juice to my glass from a lemon, orange, lime or grapefruit. I love it. It did take a while to get used to and cutting out my aspartame addiction from Diet Coke left me a raging bitch for 6 days. It passed and now I believe I am much stronger person for it. Good luck!

  5. I’m sure I am guilty of much hypocrisy. I get mad at my husband for things like socks on the floor and flippin’ bottle caps on the counter that he is incapable of throwing into the damn trash can three feet away. I do similar things myself like leaving cups around, not picking up supplies from a craft project, and my husband so kindly points this out. BUT! I’m with Angela…I clean ALL the messes up in the end so I cut myself some slack. (I can’t get mad at my little boys, I hope I can train them to help out eventually) I wish my husband would just try and be proactive about messes (at this point, I think he refuses to do so just to piss me off which just increases my anger) It’s is something I have had to work at myself because by nature I am a total slob. Sorry this turned into a sort of confession rant! Whew 🙂

  6. I’m the biggest procrastinator and poorest planner ever. Yet most of my advices to people to is to plan ahead and not to leave things for the last minute… yeah, “do as I say, not as I do”. It’s horrible. Another one is telling my dad he needs to go outside of his comfort zone and eat different things vs the same 5 dishes day in day out, yet I eat the same thing for a full week, and depending how un-creative I am, I may be eating it for weeks in a row. Yikes. That confession did not make me feel any better!

  7. So we are kind food snobs in our house. We eat really, really healthy.. for a month or two at a time, then we seem to fall off the wagon. And when we fall, we fall hard. Mt. Dew (only ‘Throw Back’, no HFCS for us thankyouverymuch), and snickers. Potato chips (though only Non-GMO if you please) and cookies (organic and gluten free though).

    So yeah, we are always telling people the importance of eating healthy, staying away from garbage, etc., but we don’t always follow our own advice.

    However, my body has recently reminded me that all this garbage comes with a price. So, starting on June 1st, I will be eating super clean for 30 days to get myself (and my body) back on track.

    • I have TWO McDonald’s hashbrowns last Thursday. I was just craving them and couldn’t help myself. I ate them, and I think I got it out of my system. I think we’re all human and go off the wagon from time to time. It’s what you do when you’re being good that matters, right?

  8. I HATE phony people….the type that treat you kindly to your face but talk smack behind your back.

    And everyday at work I sit at my desk dealing with clingy employees that can’t do anything on their own, treating them with kid gloves and sugary words while they suck the life right out of me. I just want to throat punch them.

    I truly am evil. And I hate that about myself….not enough to stop doing it, but hey at least I can admit I have a problem, right?

  9. I yell at the hubs for leaving the fridge door open when pouring milk, etc. But I do the same thing almost every morning…hey it is 6 AM and I need coffee w/ milk to fully function!

  10. I yell at my husband about leaving his dishes all over the house, yet, go in my bathroom and you will find on average about 2 regular cups and maybe 2 coffee cups. I feel like I am the one that can leave my dishes around because I am the one that washes 99% of the dishes. Let’s not talk about my husbands dishwashing practices because they suck donkey balls. So yeah, I am a hypocrite!

    • Troy is the world’s most inefficient dishwasher loader. Does your husband do something similar?

      • My husband only washes with cold water and NEVER washes the side of the dish we didn’t “use”. So, the back half of the plate, the outisde of the container or the burner side of the pan never gets washed. You can see greasy finger prints on them. GROSS! And, I blame him that my Kombucha SCOBY molded due to his insufficient dishwashing practices. If he does do dishes, I take them back out of the drying rack and re-do them all. I just feel like I would rather not get salmonila anytime soon.

  11. I get so frustrated when my oldest son (8) gets distracted halfway through a project I’ve set–folding laundry for instance (for the love of all that’s holy…if you leave folded clothes on a blanket in the floor it only takes FIVE MINUTES for them to become dirty clothes alloveragain! Put them up!)…but I am absolutely prone to bouts of ADOS (Attention Deficit OOH A SQUIRREL!!) myself when cleaning. Goes back to the “I can make a mess I have to clean up, but I don’t want you to mantra I guess.

  12. I am the sugar police at home but when someone brings treats to work, I have zero self-control.

  13. I eat healthy, people notice and remark about how healthy our family eat. I want to go back to where I grew up, stop in at a local drive in. Order a hot dog. A junky hot dog they deep fat fry. Served on a toasted bun with pickles. And add a ham salad sandwich on white bread please. My mouth is watering.