Meal plan for August 10th – 16th
Dear clothing designers of Target wear, and other brands,
Hi, my name is Sarah. We haven’t met. I’m not unlike a lot of people who buy your clothes, but you always seem to forget about people like us. We’re in our 30’s, we work out and like to look our best. We’re not dead yet and don’t wish to look frumpy and dowdy, however, there is one important thing you seem to keep overlooking:
I don’t want a stiff breeze to show the world my vagina.
Seriously people, can we knock it the hell off with these short ass dresses that are on the market today? I see girls wearing them and I’m in awe that anyone can walk, sit, or live in these clothes. Yes, I could wear that with leggings and it would look fine, but just once can I find a non-maxi dress that is modestly adorable?
Last Sunday, Troy and Jack were in a wedding of Troy’s former partner when he worked at an ambulance company. Troy was a groomsen and Jack was the ring bearer, and had a badge that said “ring security”. I’m pretty biased, but homeboy looked pretty darn handsome in my opinion.
The guests at this wedding had clearly never attended a wedding before. I think most of them had never been in public before either. I’ve never seen anything like it…the bride and groom were off taking photos, and one of the guests just went up to the catering table and started eating. Then everyone else started eating! The bride and groom were not even freaking there to eat their own food. They were only gone for about 45-60 minutes, but I sat at my table glowering at everyone and wanting to lecture them. Troy came up from photos and was hungry. I was hungry. But I refused to eat so much as a bite until they got there and got some food. They finally showed up, and we got in line with the five other people who had the respect to wait. I was in awe of the rudeness.
Speaking of rudeness, I felt horrible that they spent money on catering, and then I just came home that night and hurled it all up. Like I should give them a refund or something?
Now that we’re talking about things that are edible, this is what my lunch looks like every single day of the summer.
And yes, that uber soft burrata cheese over my heirloom tomatoes is pasteurized. I’m not as stringent this pregnancy as I was with Jack, but I’m still on the “good” side of what I should technically be eating. I’ve realized that we in the United States need to calm the f down about pregnancy diets. I see all the food we’re not supposed to eat, and then I look at the country of origin of that food and know all the pregnant women in France are eating soft cheeses, and the pregnant women in Japan are eating sushi (which I actually don’t like), and the pregnant women in Italy are having coffee (I had one decaf latte a week before being pregnant, and have slowly started getting a small one once a week in the second trimester), and I realize we just need to seriously examine what the f the fuss is about. All of those countries have higher birth rates than us and less maternal mortality. And we’re over here, flipping our shit about feta.
So, while I would never do anything to put myself or the baby at risk, I’m eating globs of pasteurized burrata cheese on the daily, because let’s face it, calcium, protein and vitamin D is important, right?
And because calcium, protein, and vitamin D are important, this is what I’m having for breakfast every other day (when I’m not having homemade greek yogurt and fruit), and it’s amazing.
Whole wheat English muffin with garlic butter (no vamp is biting me!), a thick slice of Tillamook cheddar, two beaten eggs, and a nice thick slice of nitrate free bacon. Filling and so freaking delicious!
Now that I’m hungry talking about all that food, let’s talk meal plan! We’re headed to the in-law’s ocean house again this week with our friends. I had assumed we were coming back Saturday night so that we could go to church, but considering the friends we’re going with IS our pastor and his wife, and he is skipping church, I figured God forgives one week, right? It seems like we have a free pass since the pastor is ditching.
Monday:: Homemade whole wheat pizza, and spicy stir-fried green beans
Tuesday:: Breakfast for dinner. This didn’t happen last week. Troy ended up working an over-time shift (extra money, holla) last week, and all food was evil to me, so I stopped at a local place and got a pizza. Go me.
Wednesday:: We’re going to a first year birthday, and I assume we’ll eat there.
Thursday – Sunday:: We’ll be at the ocean. I assume we’re just eating salt water taffy for every meal. Because it’s delicious.
This week I spent $30.77 at Costco, $3.50 at the farm for milk, $$19.87 at the farmer’s market, and $39.52 at the grocery store.
What are you having this week? Taffy? Make sure you brush after every meal!