Meal plan for September 7th – 13th
At the last appointment with my midwife, we had a long conversation about taking time for ourselves. Let’s deviate here for one second and talk about the difference between a traditional OBGYN and a midwife. With the doctor who I saw through most of my pregnancy with Jack, appointments were less than 10 minutes, very impersonal, and I learned nothing from them. My midwife schedules for one hour, and the appointment starts with an offer of tea. And a hug. I kid you not.
Anyway, I had mentioned how annoyed the “mom martyr” makes me. You know the one who thinks everyone in their house is so dependent on them that they can never take time to do a thing alone. They’re the ones who moan that they haven’t had a hair cut in a year because “I just can’t find the time”.
The time can be found. People can exist without your presence for an hour. We cannot take care of other people if we don’t take care of ourselves ya’ll.
Well, my midwife has three kids and she said that she was that mom martyr until her third one was about a year old. She did everything right and was the “perfect” mom. Her neighbor came over one day and she (midwife) was looking pretty burned out. Her neighbor said, “you know how on planes you have to adjust your own oxygen mask before you help others? Well, you need to do that in every day life as well”.
She said it was an awakening for her and ever since then, she and her husband have the motto of “be gentle with ourselves”.
The next few paragraphs seems really random and a bit of stream of consciousness, but stay with me.
The following is an example of why I am so glad that my parents are living with us. It’s a long day lately and a lot of work, but I’m not complaining in any way. I’m so blessed that they are here and that we can help.
My dad is on a IV pump drip thing of antibiotics twice a day and it takes an hour to administer each time. He’ll be on these meds through at least September 14th. His shoulder is also still totally shot, so he can’t assist my mom with getting in or out of bed in the morning and in the evening.
My company does not pay you out for your sick leave if you quit. You get it if you retire, but not quit…like I am doing in January. So, I am taking my whopping eight weeks of saved up sick leave as “maternity leave”, coming back for a week and then permanently peacing out. My boss is totally aware of this and has been supportive.
Well, with helping my mom get ready in the mornings, my work day has been starting almost 90 minutes late. We’ve been working on this giant project for almost a year now, and it commences on my due date in January. Whoops. Anyway, we’re busy all day every day (yay!) at work getting ready for this, and a lot of little “busy work” editing projects have falling by the wayside.
My boss (amazingly) came up with the idea that I could do that busy editing work at work, to avoid spending down my maternity leave. Which is so generous, and also filling a big need in the department. As a result, my day looks like this:
4:30 am – get up
4:30 am – 6:15 am: do editing work, with a pause at 5 am to go rotate my mom to prevent bed sores.
6:15 am – shower, breakfast, get ready for the day.
7 am – Go start my dad’s meds
7:05 am- Start the process of getting my mom ready for the day
7:30 am – Head back upstairs, pack up our stuff, pry Jack away from Netflix and force him to brush his teeth and put some damn clothes on.
8 am – unhook my dad’s IV.
8:15 am – wrangle Jack in to the car and head to daycare/work.
I work until 4 pm most days, but this month I am there until 8 pm a few nights.
The whole morning process is repeated in reverse starting at 7 pm with meds and helping my mom get ready for bed.
I am in bed between 9:30 and 10 pm, but get up at least every two hours to pee.
All of this to say, I took my midwife’s advice to be gentle with myself. And I bought some damn yogurt and bread this week instead of making it.
:drops mike and walks off stage:
Jack starts school on Wednesday, and I have high hopes for this year. We just found out the class lists/teacher assignments last week. For one thing, his teacher has a great reputation (Jack’s friend’s older brother was in her class two years ago, and his mom loved the teacher). He has a bunch of besties in there, and one is the sweetest little girl who loves Jack and is such a calming influence on him.
The other reason I am so excited is that he is in an integrated classroom. From what I can tell, there are three grades in his class – first, second, and third. Again, the details are still unknown to me, but in this class, each grade level has 20-25 kids in it, and has their own classroom, but most of the day is spent together in a common space with the other grades in this integrated class.
Ya’ll know what this means? Jack will be learning with kids above his grade level!!!! Something I begged for all of last year. And it is happening without even having to ask this year. Again, I don’t have all the particulars, but from what I understand about the integrated class, it’s gonna be awesome.
It’s also do or die for Jack. If he is still a total ass this year and getting in trouble, that is on him. It won’t be for lack of being challenged!
In exciting news, Troy and my father-in-law finished up our final bedroom with the wood flooring. It’s freaking GORGEOUS. How we could have lived with carpet for all of these years is beyond me.
Here it is after one day:
And day two:
Troy still needs to add the trim (base board), a windowsill, and a door. All in good time. And then the party begins with decorating for the nursery. I have ideas. Troy is terrified, because my ideas usually involve a lot of work on his part.
Yesterday, I was at Costco, and I happened upon this giant bin of stuffed animals. Knowing Jack’s love of stuffies, I snagged him one of the elephants, and let’s just say he lost his effing mind.
This elephant has become his main man, but is just a baby and needs a lot of care. He told me to buy some elephant milk from the store. And then he proceeded to show me how to hold the elephant while supporting its big giant head. I was like “boy please, you’re still alive. Therefore, I know how to properly hold things with big giant heads”.
The elephant also came to dinner with us.
In a freaking booster seat.
We had to ask for a high chair. For the elephant
The waitress was in-training, but man she is already on her way to becoming the best waitress ever. She brought the elephant his own glass of water…and a fortune cookie.
The elephant left her a very generous tip.
Speaking of dinners, let’s talk meal plan!
Monday:: those kebabs I mentioned last week? Well, they didn’t happen. I said I forgot the pineapple, but turns out I also forgot the freaking pork. Doh! So we’re having kebabs and green beans on labor day.
Tuesday:: I’m working late, late, late, but Troy will grill up chicken and his newly famous homemade french fries, and salad for himself, Jack, and my mom.
Wednesday:: Turkey burgers, and until I started typing, I didn’t realize I hadn’t planned for a side dish. I’ll figure something out.
Thursday:: BLTAs and salad.
Friday:: Popcorn dinner, and Star Wars episode IV. Jack has now seen Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi and is a big fan.
Saturday:: I’m being gentle with myself, and declaring another night out.
Sunday:: Family dinner.
This week I spent $21.66 at the grocery store, $3.50 for raw milk from the farm, $6.16 from the local butcher (for pork. I remembered!), and $66.72 at Costco. Costco is where I bought bread (Dave’s Killer bread) and their new organic Greek yogurt. Costco, you are killing it with all these organic products. Nice work.
What are you having this week?