On gratitude

I’ve had some personal challenges over the last few weeks (a car in the shop more than it is out of the shop, and hitting a wall with the long and expensive process of what it takes to become a fire fighter), and I was having a mini pity party recently (the tray-passed appetizers were divine though).  A coworker of mine calls these moments “righteous fury”, and I was having a grand time working myself up in to a bitchy lather.

And then I took a deep breath.  And another one.  And then another one after that (that is how breathing works after all).  And then things cleared and my head was set on straight.  My heart is very full today.  As a matter of fact, it has been full for quite some time.  Life is not perfect.  Thank god for that.  Perfection is boring.  Perfection is a Pottery Barn catalog – sterile and safe.  I prefer a Goodwill kind of life – a hodge podge of colors, memories, and experiences that define who we are right now.

I started this blog as a way to share ideas on how to lead a good life on a small budget.  It’s evolved and grown in the 20 months I’ve been writing it.  In the last six weeks, it has grown in ways I could never have conceived (thank you Pintrest!).

Almost daily I get the kindest emails from readers telling me that a story or recipe or tip has resonated with them.  You must understand – this is crack to a blogger.  We feed on knowing that strangers in the ether have connected with what we’ve written or thought.  And might I cheekily add, it tickles me to no end when someone sends me an email saying my cursing makes them laugh.  My mother hates you for encouraging my potty mouth, but fuck it, I love a good swear word!

Within the last few months, Jack has started participating in prayers before dinner.  He is able to say them, and we’ve even let him add his own note at the end for someone/something he’d like to say a special prayer for.  Some days it is for a friend or family member.  Other days it is saying thanks for an object like a toy or a book.  Some times it is pure silliness like “I want to prayer for poop”.  As someone who birthed a child with a 99th percentile head, I myself have prayer for that.

Jack also says a prayer for “Poppy to get a fire fighting job” and I always mutter an “amen” after that.  Believing that God bends an ear to listen carefully to a child’s prayers (my friend Mary says he hears children’s prayers first because they’re closest to his heart), I’ve asked Jack to start praying for something for me too.  All too often as parents we tuck our hopes and dreams away in a closet to be unpacked once a child is grown.

Upon my request, Jack has started to pray that eventually I can make this here blog a full time job so that I can stay at home.  Honestly I’m not 100% convinced I have the disposition to be a stay at home mom, but dammit if I don’t want the opportunity to find that out!

In a child’s mind, words get twisted and turned around, so Jack’s nightly prayer has morphed to ask that I become a “safe blogger”.  My current lack of blogging goggles and air bags is positively frightening indeed!

Who knows if this will ever become something that can be a replacement income, but from the bottom of my heart I thank you for reading, commenting, and emailing.  It gives me a wee dash of hope each day that people keep coming back for more silly family stories, recipes, money-saving tips, and fart jokes.  Always the fart jokes.

We all need a little silliness in our world.  Life is long and hard.

That’s what she said.