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Pieces of me

I got off early from work last Friday because of a bunch of overtime I worked earlier in the week.  My plan was: get Jack from daycare, drop off the Take Five Bars at church for the bake sale, and then head to the fabric store so that Jack could pick out the back for his Christmas quilt.

So, with all that to do, inevitably he fell asleep in the backseat almost immediately.  We’re talking drool down the front of his shirt snoozin’.

We headed home, and I was annoyed that I didn’t get all the stuff done that I had planned.  He woke up when I got him out of the car, and I assumed he’d want to go play, or read a book.  Surprisingly, he kinda wanted to snuggle – a very rare occurrence with my busy boy – as I carried him up the stairs.

He was still snugly upstairs, so I sat down on the couch with him, and he continued to stay against me.  I laid down on the couch so that he could get comfortable, and I was amazed that within a minute, he was sleeping away on my chest.

The part of me suffering from a sinus infection said

Ohhh, I should close my eyes too, and take a snooze.
The part of me that can’t stay still and doesn’t understand how to not multi-task said
I wish my phone wasn’t in the car.  Then I could make a to do list or something on it.
The part of me that is always thinking about the blog said
Too bad there isn’t some paper and a pen nearby.  I could be writing up some posts!
The part of me that really hates to not be productive said
Can I reach that magazine with my toe without waking him?
The part of me that never gets to sit and relax said
Man, I wish the remote wasn’t 3 feet away.
The scheduling part of me said
I need to wake him up now or he’ll never fall asleep tonight.
The worrying part of me said
Man, this kid can snore.  I wish we didn’t have to wait another two weeks to get the results of his sleep study back.
The mom part of me said
All of you other parts, shut up and don’t wake my baby big boy.
It has been 11 months since he last fell asleep on me (Christmas Day).  My boy does not give away snuggles very cheaply, and it is rare for him to slow down long enough to even think about it.  How many more times over the next few years will I get a chance for this opportunity?  One?  Two?
I swear I just had this child last month, and yet here we are, with him closer to four than he is to three.  Life moves fast, and my child moves even faster.
So, I quieted the louder parts of me, and put my cheek against his soft little head.  I looked out at the water and rain, and saw boats enter and leave the marina.  We laid there until it got dark.  My baby boy and I.

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18 comments on “Pieces of me”

  1. thanks for sharing

  2. Just posted something similar – it goes against my nature to step back, chill & spend time doing “nothing” with the kids. I’m really, really working on it.

  3. Oh man, that made me tear up…

    My baby just turned 11 months old yesterday. The only way he’ll nap is if someone is cuddling him. It’s frustrating when I can’t get stuff done around the house…but man do I love those moments when he’s getting sleepy and petting my face and babbling. I know it won’t be long before he never stops long enough for that…as it is, he’s gogogo all day long!

  4. This is so well written and so TRUE. My mind thinks like yours but Its awesome to.slow down and cuddle I love it when mine will cuddle its so rare though!

  5. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Enjoy these moments. Mine are (a couple weeks shy of) 19 and 14. Although they still want to snuggle sometimes, they get real heavy REAL fast! And it is a little awkward

  6. Thank you. I needed that. Any time my 3 month old falls asleep, I RUN TO DO THINGS OMG. LOL. She rarely sleeps on me even now, but even in those rare times, my brain runs just like yours does. Already. And soon, she’ll be…4…8…10…15…
    Thank you for refocusing me on slowing down to enjoy these moments!

  7. Enjoy the snuggles while you can because you will truly miss them when they are gone. My boys are 17 & 13 and I would give anything for snuggles these days.

  8. Aw, you just enjoyed life as it comes. An that’s being frugal to. Because if he doesn’t give those snuggles, enjoy them when they come free ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. wow that post brought tears to my eyes i have a boy the same age as yours (born April 30 2009) and i also have a little girl, and i never get the chance to snuggle with my son because i am constantly holding my daughter. it really does feel like yesterday i had him and when i look at his face it is becoming more boy and less baby ๐Ÿ™ I would love to just sit and snuggle with him sometimes but my big boy is just too busy for his mama ๐Ÿ™

  10. Beautifully written. As moms we always feel the need to be doing something, keeping busy, but sometimes the most important thing we can do is be still and hold our babies (no matter how big they are)