Starting a campaign to remove a term from parenting nomenclature
(warning, photo ahead that includes some new baby goo)
There is a term that makes me cringe whenever I see or hear it.
I see and hear it often, and while I don’t fault people for saying it, because I don’t think they say it with malice, I don’t believe it adequately defines what they mean. I think the term they’re looking for is “stay at home mom”. Because let’s get one thing straight, in no way does working outside of the home downgrade me to “part-time mommy” status.
This post is not a working mom vs. stay at home mom post. Society has created enough of their own biases and pressures on motherhood. We don’t need to add flame to that fire. If you work or stay at home, you do so because that is what you and your family needs; any other reason isn’t anyone’s damn business.
Many moms work because they want to. They love their jobs. They love the people they work with and what their work means to them, etc. Some moms work because they have to. Some moms work for a combination of the two (like me). Regardless of what camp a working mom falls in, the term “fulltime mommy” can be like a slap in the face.
Me? I work because I provide 75% of our family’s income and 100% of our health insurance. No amount of side jobs and babysitting can replace comprehensive health coverage. Am I currently in my dream job? Nope. Do I complain about it? Often There is no point. As of now, where we are in our lives, it is what it is. I’ve always enjoyed working throughout my life, and I’m not certain that I’m cut out to be a stay at home mom. But right now, I don’t have the option to find that out. Maybe some day.
You can read about my average day as a mom working outside of the house here. (go on. I’ll wait). With all the things I have going on, I still love, teach, and nurture my child each and every day. Being away from the home during business hours, does not a bad mom make.
Is my child perfect? Pardon me while I snort. Is any child perfect?
As parents, we can be around our kids 24/7, or just a few waking hours a day. The end result is that we’re going to fuck them up regardless of what we do. We all fail our kids on a daily basis no matter our working situation. And that is ok. Our job and our right as parents is to make mistakes so that our children see us as imperfect human beings. They need to witness our trials and tribulations so that they know what life has in store. No parent can or should present a perfect plastic lying life to their kids. That is a huge disservice to them, and frankly an insult to their intelligence. We owe it to our kids to show them that life is a series of journeys – some are memorable because they’re wonderful. Some are important because they taught us a hard lesson. Regardless, they shape who are are and shouldn’t be glossed over.
Show me a mother, and I’ll show you a working mom. It doesn’t matter if they’re employed for money outside of the home, all moms are working. We’re all trying to do right by our kids and our families, and hells bells we need to support each other instead of judge one another because of the choice that works for OUR families. And I’ll be the first one to raise my hand and say I’ve been guilty of judging another parent’s choices. I’m sorry. I was wrong.
Let’s just love our kids and keep our opinions to ourselves (and or blogs), give each other support to make mistakes and choices, and everything else will just fall in the place.
|Just because. Because I think this photo is adorable. That’s why!|