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When You Feel That Strongly

Everything about this video is wrong.

I realized too late that the paper I bought wasn’t card stock, which made it challenging.

I didn’t practice and my fingers cover some of the words.

It’s too long.

I forgot to wear my wedding ring.

I definitely hadn’t planned to get emotional.

And yet I couldn’t bring myself to reshoot any of it. It’s messy. It’s real. It’s honest. It is what it is.

*Those of you reading this via my email subscription may need to view this post through a browser. It doesn’t seem like video comes through the email.

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40 comments on “When You Feel That Strongly”

  1. As always it is 100% you. You never flinch from honesty. That’s why we love you so much.
    Even tho we have never met IRL you and family are often in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. Just. Wow.
    I will likely never meet you, but you speak something that needs to be said and have read something beautiful into my life. I hope others hear it too.
    I feel like I want to give you a hug – one tall girl to another.
    So through all the tears, keep doing what you’re called to do.

    • Thank you so very much Laurinda.

      And it is nice to hug a fellow tall girl because you know our faces won’t be in each other’s boobs.

  3. I’m a Canadian. I have been reading a great deal about the health care debate in your country. I was 11 years old when my country was debating what you call single payer health care. If there was ever a political fight worth fighting, this is it.

    On the human side, my heart goes out to you. Give yourself time to spend with her and tell her you love her and how much she has given you.

    • thank-you for posting that, and thank-you for keeping it raw & real.

      My heart is going out to you. As a Canadian, I cannot make those calls, or write those letters. I can say our system is flawed up here, but I am completely grateful for it.

      Sending much love, and peace, to you and your family.

      And I say the following with the utmost respect: It sucks to be going through what you currently are, in every single way. And it’s OK to not be OK. Hugs.

      • Thank you Andree. I often wonder what other countries think when they watch us battle like this over basic human rights.

        You can read my mind. When my friends ask how I am, I say “I’m ok right now. I reserve the right to not be ok later”.

    • Thank you Judith, I agree.

      We’re all making sure we get extra hugs and quality time in with her.

  4. Thank You… THANK YOU! I am a Mom of four kids, married, and I take care of myself and them mostly. Imagine my SHOCK when I found out my youngest son, Luke was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor…! Our lives were turned upside down. Illness does not discriminate. In 2003 we were told that he had 2 months to two years to live. God has blessed us with so many more days… Life is complicated though. We are always considering his quality of life. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am an independent voter… and a Christian. I pay close attention to news and try to be aware. Playing with our health care in govt. really burns me up. Thank you for your beautifully honest video. I love to read your blog. Always hoping in Him the maker of all.

    • Laura, I’ll keep sweet Luke in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you continue to have years and years and YEARS together.

      The sick, poor, and elderly are surely not bargaining chips in a political game. And I am not sure when it became ok to mess with the health of actual people.

  5. Oh I’m so glad you didn’t reshoot and you shared with us. I agree with you 100% and am so sorry about your mom. Hugs to you and the family.

  6. When I had a miscarriage, the only thing anyone said that made me feel any better was “I’m sorry, it sucks to be you right now.” My pain was acknowledged. So, while I know that there are many things in your life that are great, please know that with the best of intentions I say to you “I’m sorry, it sucks to be you right now.”
    You’re video moved me. It is real. I am not American, so I cannot effect change in your country, but I support you from afar.
    My best wishes for you and your family.

    • If my memory serves me correctly, you shared that with me a few years ago. Maybe it was when I shared that I had been diagnosed with secondary infertility? Your words have stuck with me for years, and I have found myself saying them to others in my life.

  7. I’m not in the US so I can’t write to anyone but I can send my best wishes to you, I’m sorry you’re going through this right now.

  8. I was honestly thinking of you and your parents this morning, hoping all is still going as well as expected. My niece was diagnosed with MS about 7 years ago at age 15. The future of health care scares the “stuff” out of me when I think of her…and my children who are doing the “right” things, because sometimes things happen that we don’t plan on. I’m getting close to Medicare age and have been healthy up to this point, and hope to stay that way, but I also want to make sure I’ll be able to have the necessary care should something arise.

    I stand with you on this, and I hope in the future we can be smarter voters and elect people who truly WANT to represent us and not run for office for the perk$$. It makes me a little more than sad to wonder where these representatives’ hearts (and heads!) are during this process.

    Thanks for doing this.

    • Hi Mary, I hope your niece is going ok and receiving great care. I had a friend diagnosed in 7th grade with MS, and I just ran into her two weeks ago. She is doing extremely well and medications have definitely come a long way. I’ll keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

  9. As humans we have more in common than we have differences. We all want the same basic things such as a home in a place we are comfortable living in, good safe schools for our children, enough financial security to pay bills, buy food with a few extras like a vacation tossed in periodically for mental health. We all want to be loved and to love. And healthcare, we all want to be healthy and for our families and friends to also be healthy and live a long and happy life.

    What is happening to your mom is heartbreaking. And it’s not fair. It’s not right or fair that others have to endure these horrible diseases at all, much less having to do so without any medical care. It is not a political issue to me, but one of human rights. All humans, regardless of our differences, are deserving of quality medical care, food, shelter and clean water – at the very least.

    Yes, I’m a bleeding heart, old school, liberal from the 70’s and in some circles that is like some dirty word. Ultimately though, it doesn’t matter. It’s just a series of words and makes no difference at all when we come down to what really really matters. I believe that we are better as a nation that what we have shown recently. Divided we fall, but if we can – again – put our differences aside as a nation and concentrate on nurturing our similarities instead of viciously fighting over our differences, I believe our states can be united again. I also believe it will have to begin with the women.

  10. You look beautiful and your message is beautiful! I’m sorry your mom and your family is going through this.

  11. My heart goes out to you Sarah, I’m glad that your Mum has a place in a hospice…. at least if it’s like the UK they are marvellous places where people can get the best care and dignity be maintained.

    Pauline (very regular reader of your blog)

    • Hi Pauline, thanks for your well wishes. Hospice is an amazing organization filled with people with hearts of gold. We’re so lucky to have them on our team.

  12. Very well said (or written) .And right from the heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

  13. whats happening to your mom is awful and I’m so glad that she is in a place where they are taking good care of heart goes out to you. we are in the united states of america ,a rich country,and everybody deserves healthcare.

    • We are doing home hospice Jennifer. For now, the care is on my dad and myself and my sister when she is available. We have an awesome and supportive team of nurses, social workers, and chaplains. Hospice is the giant blessing of a lottery that you never want to win.

  14. Dear Sarah,
    This sucks. I am so sorry for your family, and especially for you, your sister and your dad. I do not live in the US but I am forever grateful for what public and unrestricted health care has done for my family in time of need. Like you I believe that it is a human rights issue, not a political one. Like you I know that -even- if you do everything “right” it does NOT keep you out of harms way… all it takes is a lifestyle unrelated illness, a distracted driver, a tragedy that your mind and/or body can not cope with. While I can not write a member of congress or go protest I will keep you and your family and especially your mom in my prayers.

  15. I’m so sorry for what is happening to your Mum and your family. I don’t live in the US so there’s no congressman I can write to – I wish there was – but I send you all my best wishes and love and support from across the ocean.

  16. Sarah, I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. I don’t have a big following, but I’m going to post and tweet this where I can. It’s stories like this that will make a difference.

    I’ve already contacted my reps and senators as well as majority leader Mitch McConnell. Since my congress people are Democrat, I call to encourage them and let them know I support their position.

    • Thank you so much Catherine. Spreading the word is huge in these sorts of things. Big organizations can do campaigns and get the word out, but I think the grassroots has the most influence in the end!

  17. Wow Sarah you said it all. Love and prayers for you and your family .

  18. Sarah – I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she stays comfortable and you and your family are okay. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  19. Sarah. You can do this. You will be fine. How do I know? I took care of my mother (stroke-related dementia); she and my dad moved in with me and my husband for the last year of her life. Five years later my dad died, in our house. It was SO hard. For the last 3 years, I’ve had Stage 4 Breast Cancer (with bone metastases). And, you know what? I am strong. You are strong. We can be weak, and later strong again! We are women, hear us ROAR! We will make it. Tears ? can be healing. Hugs, sister. ?

    • Leslie, sending prayers for you and your own health. I don’t know your situation, but I hope the tribe around you is providing excellent care and keeping laughter and joy in your life.

      Hospice is amazing. It is winning the lottery in a game that no one really wants to play. They’re angels.

  20. Oh, yeah– we had some help from Hospice, too, lucky for us- they were wonderful, and at least the freaking powers that be in our country, the wealthiest in all in the world, allow us to have Hospice. I wish every person in the U.S. would demand that we ALL have the same health care as our elected officials, PERIOD! And at an affordable price. DOUBLE PERIOD!!!! Ok, that’s all. Don’t get me all riled up! Deep breaths…….