Confessions – April
Oh friends, it is confession time. The day of the month when you unburden yourself from the silly, the crazy, and the socially bizarre.
- I’m not going to apologize or explain myself for this. I used to really love the show Alias. That’s right, I said it. It was a great show, and Sydney Bristow was a bad ass.
- We can put people on the moon. A doctor used a tiny probe to go through my mom’s leg, up her trunk, and injected chemo in to the tumors in her liver. We now have tiny handheld computers that we walk around with and most of you are reading this blog on your own smartphone. And yet…no one has figured out how to make a freaking fleece jacket that when zipped up does not bulge right at your midsection?!?! No one needs/wants to look pregnant while staying warm and cozy.
- In December, we received a call from Jack’s school, informing us that he had won an award and would be recognized at an all-school assembly later that week. To receive this award, kids had to be good citizens, work hard, and contribute positive attributes to the class. Troy and I were both able to attend, and we were so proud of him. As we left the gym, we walked past Jack’s kindergarten teacher, and I gripped Jack’s certificate, held my head high, and just smiled.
- I always wonder how the makers of tea designed to help you sleep, seem to ignore the fact that tea before bedtime would make me get up 14 times to pee. Instead of my usual 10.
- Once when we were at a local grocery store, Troy saw they were giving out cheese samples. He took a bite and turned away from the sample table. I watched him grimace and choke it down. Well away from the sample person, he told me the cheese tasted like the collar of an old man’s jacket. To this day, I can’t look at an elderly man in a Members Only jacket without bursting out laughing.
- Dear makers of safety seals. THESE ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO REMOVE.
- When I was in high school, I worked as a receptionist at a hair salon. I wasn’t a giant dork in high school, but I wasn’t cool either. I had lots of friends, went to community college part-time, and was in ROTC. Pretty much a well-rounded nerd. So, when the super popular kids came in to get a hair cut, I would tell them how long it would be until we were available, and then even though I knew who they were, I would asked their names for the appointment. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a crazy popular person look surprised that you don’t know who they are, but it was pure gold. And then to just be a bigger passive aggressive brat, when it was their turn, I would mispronounce their names.
- I have actually uttered the words “oh, this is my favorite mason jar”.
Alrighty folks, your turn! Unleashed the demons of silliness.