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If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

Confession 1

If you look closely, you’ll see an excessive amount of mint, rosemary, and parsley in my photos. Why? Because most photos need pops of green and those three things grow in my garden and therefore, they’re free ninety-nine.

The mint and parsley are seasonal, so in the winter you’ll find tons of rosemary in photos for recipes that have nothing to do with rosemary. What in the world does rosemary have to do with cranberry sauce??? NOTHING.

instant pot cranberry sauce in a glass jar on a plate with garnishes

That holly is from a bush that I cannot kill. 

Why is there mint with applesauce? Mint and apples would be GROSS together! I had a bunch of fresh tarragon from the garden in these photos for Instant Pot Caramelized Onions but I had to crop them out because they looked like leafy green pubes.

Here’s a game we can play. I want you to email me or DM me on Instagram anytime you see random garnish in a photo that has nothing to do with the recipe. Please?

Confession 2

Last month we got a call from Jack’s school saying he had been caught with contraband at lunch…

It was Lactaid. 🙂

I take full ownership of that as I’m the one who put it in his backpack and kept reminding him to take it on Wednesdays (the day he gets to buy hot lunch and it’s pizza). It was all me. I 100% didn’t even think about having an authorization form at school. My bad.

Our pediatrician quickly filled out a form for him and I left a box in the office that he can take whenever he needs it. And I am still laughing so hard about my kid getting busted at school for taking something that makes it so he doesn’t fart after having a slice a pizza.

Confession 3

90% of my wardrobe follows the same pattern: skinny jeans + some sort of free t-shirt that I got from a conference, church, or one of the brands I’ve worked with.

I feel like I should look into Stitchfix or something. HA!

Confession 4

My kids are either whispering or screaming. It’s either “please speak up, I can’t hear you” or “please dear God can you take it down 30 notches”.

PICK A MIDDLE LANE and talk like a normal person.

Confession 5

I LOVE our library for pretty much everything. But when I download free ebooks to my Kindle I don’t always finish them before the due date.

I um, found out that if you turn the wi-fi on the Kindle off, they can’t automatically return the book.

Confession 6

There are parts of the floor in my house that I’m sure my kids have never once walked on…until I am sweeping and then suddenly they need to be RIGHT THERE.

Of all the things I thought I would be when I grew up, a grumpy harpy shrew who yells “get out of my dirt pile”, never once crossed my mind.

Confession 7

When we lived in Los Angeles, I worked for a corporation that introduced me to a very fancy lifestyle. All the expensive things we did in California were thanks to this company.

No joke, the holiday party was at the Beverly Hill’s Four Seasons. To keep ourselves humble, we would take Troy’s 2003 Ford Ranger (complete with canopy) to the party and we would valet park it (comped by the company).

I still laugh thinking about that beat-up work truck parked near vehicles that cost twice our yearly income.

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?




Want more confessions? Check out our Confessions archives.

About Sarah

Helping you serve up budget-friendly sustainable recipes with a side of balanced living.
Come for the food. Stay for the snark.

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  1. I am also a dirt pile harpy. In fact I’m convinced that if I need someone to get their butt home, all I have to do is start cleaning the kitchen floor. Never fails.

  2. I’ve been at my job for almost 2 months now. My commute is, at most, 10 minutes long. And yet i try different ways almost weekly to shave a minute off. 

    Ever since surgery my blood sugar sometimes drops too low. I keep some fruit snacks in my purse for these occasions. Hannah found them in my purse at church Sunday. Busted!  

    At the gym, i sometimes make something into a competition between myself and the person next to me. Problem is that person has no clue. So now I’m the weirdo squatting faster than you and looking at you with a “ha! Beat that!” face. I’m a creepo. 

  3. I have a work uniform, no one really notices that I basically wear the same thing everyday and if they do, they haven’t commented. It makes getting dressed in the morning so much easier. I read somewhere that as the day progresses you get decision fatigue, so I’m not going to wear myself out before I leave the house! I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning a friend’s house because their kid is coming home from the first part of leukaemia treatment and it badly needed a reset (two weeks of a kid in hospital will do that), I straight up bribed myself with pastries to get it done and I’m considering implementing it to get my housework done!

    1. I’ve heard the term described as “analysis paralysis” – just getting overwhelmed by making a thousand small choices per day.

      You’re a very good friend for doing that. Sending prayers to your friend’s family and kiddo.

  4. I tried that turn off the wi fi trick with my tablet because I had a book I needed to finish that’s on the waitlist, but it didn’t work. I was so disappointed!

    My confession this month is I want to go find in person and smack people who don’t answer their dang email for business. If you want to ignore your HOME email, feel free. But if I’m emailing you about something business-related (or charity-related, in this case) freakin’ ANSWER ME. Even if it’s just “I can’t get to this now but will by next Tues” or whatever. Don’t leave me hanging!

      1. It’s a Galaxy Tab

        As for the email, I know people are busy, I do. But come ON, it takes two seconds. I’m not asking you to explain how black holes work or something, dang.

  5. I am really sad that it is supposed to rain on Halloween because I imagine that will keep many kidlets home. Meanwhile, I have enough treats for more than 200 visitors, which is what we typically get every year. The kids are always so happy, and usually very polite, so I look forward to sitting outside for a couple of hours and handing out treats. We always have chips or pretzels as well as candy, and I often give both to the exceptionally costumed or well-behaved. While my husband and son will be happy to polish off the leftovers, it just won’t be the same.

  6. I’m going to pass along the kindle tip to hubby so he can see if it works with Kobo and our library.  Although, he plows through his books long before the due date most of the time.

    The Lactaid thing is funny!   My girls used to keep Tylenol in their backpacks and I trusted them to only take it if they needed it and NOT to share.  They never got caught. 😉 (I think they were a couple years older then Jack when we did this though)

    I’m not familiar enough with plants and herbs to know what they look like, so I have never noticed that things don’t “match”.

  7. I yell at the dog to get out of my dirt pile when sweeping, the kids are now old enough to know if they walk through it they get finish sweeping. 

  8. Dirt piles are kid magnets, your confession has reminded me of how my mum used to marvel at my ability to walk straight towards the pile she’d swept wherever it was on the floor!

  9. Gosh, how to be concise when I relate so well. 1) I had a boyfriend who loved sports cars, and changed cars often. My first car was a 1961 Comet which I paid $150 to get in the mid-’70’s. When between cars, he drove mine. For a month during Christmas season, he rented a Rolls Royce, being between cars. People got out of our way when we were in that car, which at that time had the classic, older styling which made it amazing. It had a beautiful wood and leather interior and a great sound system. We went out a lot that season. Pretty memorable. 2) 90% of my cooler months I wear black Old Navy pants, a black t-shirt from Target and a black long cardigan with black shoes. I have many scarves. People actually compliment me on my “look.” –And I think, “wearing a scarf makes me dressed up.” (?!?) My real confession is I don’t wear much that advertises anything, or has a name brand showing.

  10. Regarding #4: mine don’t whisper, they mumble. And then when I ask, “What?” they say, “Oh nothing,” which makes me suspect they’re plotting a rebellion. Especially when I hear one of them mumble “stupid school” with no other context.

    Here is a weird mystery for somebody to solve: We are in the process of cleaning out the house we moved from (we were renters); our lease required us to give 30 days notice and we used those 30 days to move to our new (much nicer, awesome) rental. We hand over the old keys on Halloween. My husband goes over every couple of days to get the last bits of stuff out/cleaned and it’s just about done. In the meantime, the landlord, who lives next door to the old place, has had two workmen in, one to look at the appliances and one to check on the plumbing.

    Downstairs in the old place is a half bath with open shelving under the sink, where we just always put spare toilet paper out in the open, because we are classy like that. The sink is right smack next to the toilet. The house was listed for rent (available next month) just three days ago. Today my husband reported that when he was over there on Saturday, the toilet paper holder in the downstairs half bath was empty–even the cardboard tube was gone. Yet the stash of toilet paper was, as far as he could see, untouched.

    Here is the mystery: WHO has been pooping in the rental house? The workmen? In our experience, workmen don’t generally do that, and in any case that was a FULL ROLL when we moved out. Ghosts? Or, even creepier, the landlord? Why, when his house with his own personal toilet is right next door?

    And weirder, if you had used up the last of the terlet paper, why take the cardboard tube off and NOT put another roll on, if for no other reason than to mask the fact that you were the jerk who used the toilet paper all up? The mind boggles.

    1. Gaaaah, yes! My husband is a mumbler and Jack is starting to take on that habit.

      Is the landlord married with kids? I bet he’s sneaking next door to “go” in private!

      1. He is retired and lives with just his wife! And I know his house has two bathrooms. My husband has a theory that we buy nicer toilet paper than he does, and that’s why. LOL.