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Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

A woman with a finger up to her mouth saying "shhhhh"

Confession 1

Ok, people who walk around the neighborhood with regular coffee mugs…WTF are you thinking? Do you not have a travel coffee cup? Are you not clumsy and promise you’ll never drop that cup, shattering ceramic everywhere?

How does this even work? Especially people walking a dog! I do NOT UNDERSTAND.

Confession 2

Speaking of walks, there is this house I pass on my daily walk. It usually has a travel trailer parked in front of it so I’ve never seen an unobstructed view of this place.

I recently noticed that the trailer had moved and someone was sitting behind it in the yard. Probably drinking coffee out of a regular mug.

Being a friendly neighbor, I waved but kept walking when they didn’t wave back. I don’t have great eyesight, so I didn’t take the slight personally.

The next morning, they were back out there. I waved. Nothing. RUDE.

The next morning. Still there. Waved. Nothing. 

Turns out that wooden fisherman sculptures aren’t all that friendly when you wave to them. In my defense, I’m an idiot. Also, remember that terrible eyesight thing? Yeah…

Confession 3

Bennett desperately wants to be a kitten named Mittens when he grows up. Every morning when he wakes up, he meows super loudly to let us know he’s ready to get up. It’s my favorite way to start the day.

Confession 4

There is no one more hopeful or unaware of reality, than parents of small children who bring chairs to the beach. 

Confession 5

I don’t understand the purpose of shaving cream for shaving your legs. I think it is part of the “pink tax” that women pay for products that marketers tell us we need.

Sure, I used it when I was a teen and diligently read the “best shaving cream” article in YM, but as an adult? Nada.

Regular soap on a bath puff works great. Even cheap conditioner works and moisturizes like a dream. 

Confession 6

Dear parents: when you’re out pushing your kids in a stroller…if the sun is in your eyes, it is in your baby’s eyes too! 

I can’t tell you how many squinting red-faced kids I see on my daily walks. Even in the middle of the day when the sun is beating down on their pasty little legs, the cover remains folded up.

And Jack didn’t like hats or the sunshade, so I dealt with that tantruming for months. But we’re pale AF so it was was not up for discussion. Cover them babies!

Confession 7

There is no quiet way to eat popcorn, but I think my kids have taken the loudness to the next level. They’re SO obnoxious!

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

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33 comments on “Confessions”

  1. I’ve just discovered your website and I might have to come back on a regular basis just to read this column. You are very, very funny! 

  2. My 3-yr-old regularly pretends to be a kitty named Patches. She and Bennet would probably get along great! 

  3. confession #1 – I am SO GLAD i am not a teacher right now/ left it behind in 2008. It was going to be temporary anyway when I did the teaching fellows program in 2005-2007 but I can’t imagine trying to do it now with COVID. I also made 2x+ more once I graduated from law school and today? I get paid at least 8x more than what I got paid as a first year teacher, can work remotely and don’t have to risk my health or the health of the other students.

    confession #2 – i needed this forced break from the grind to take a moment to assess what is really important to me. I hate the people are dying and getting sick, but as a childless woman in her 30s that has been on the achievement rat race, this “pause” has been really good (even if fraught with anxiety and panic attacks)