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If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

Confession 1

I live with four males, which means 80% of my time is spent reminding people what I just said six minutes ago.

Confession 2

I live with four males, which means the other 20% of my time is spent finding their “lost” things that are right in front of them.

Confession 3

I don’t understand the whole “birthday week” for adults. It’s birthDAY. Stop it.

Confession 4

I live with four males, which means I take undue pleasure in coming up behind them and putting my ice-cold lady hands on their necks.

Confession 5

I think the world would be a better place if everyone who was physically able was required to spend 3 months (each) working in:

  • Retail/fast food/some minimum wage job that requires you to interact with the public
  • A non-profit
  • A corporate job
  • The military (but I realize of course this wouldn’t be safe for anyone)

Confession 6

This goes against every feminist thread in my body, but I don’t know how to BBQ. I also don’t want to learn. Grilling is the ONE thing Troy will consistently do in the kitchen, and it feels like a cooking vacation for me. If I learn to grill then I have to cook everything.

Confession 7

It appears that 15% of marriage is just hiding candy from each other.

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

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48 comments on “Confessions”

  1. I’ve always thought that people should have to work retail between Thanksgiving and Christmas before they’re allowed to shop.
    My husband thinks that everyone should have to serve as a substitute teacher like we have to serve jury duty. (I’d love to take credit for this one, but he deserves it!)
    Kids who cannot tie their shoes when they are in upper elementary school make me insane. If your kid cannot tie, then buy velcro. If they’re embarrassed maybe they will learn. (I’m not talking about children with specific disabilities. I’m talking about lazy here.)

    • I LOVE that idea! People would probably be so much kinder if they knew how awful it is to deal with rude shoppers! And YES to the substitute teacher idea!!

  2. I hate it when my boyfriend says something like “I got the washing in for you”!!! No, you got the washing in. It wasn’t for me – your crap was hung out as well!! I also cringe when people say addicting instead of addictive – just makes them sound a bit stupid (I know it’s totally judging but I still hate it!)

    • OMG, yes! In fact, I was just having this conversation with 3 friends in a group chat yesterday. We all concurred it makes us murdery.

      • My husband announces, “Did you notice I unloaded the dishwasher?” That should never be an announcement, unless it is followed by, “Now what do you need me to do!” Ladies we never announce when we finish a chore. Why do men do this?

  3. Confession: I don’t actually like my mom’s cooking. There, I said it.

  4. I know I should be grateful that I’m not changing diapers but I HATE dumping the #2 from the little potty into the toilet. Just use the big toilet already. It’s not that scary!

  5. I have always said it should be mandatory to work one year in food service. We would have a much nicer society as a whole.

  6. Confessions #6 & 7 are spot on! The drawback of 6 is that I’m always left cleaning up the disaster left in the kitchen afterwards, even when I worked 60 – 80 hour a week. I cook, I clean up afterwards. He cooks, I clean up afterwards. 🙄

    • Oh yeah, I still have to clean everything up too. But that is because I choose cleaning the kitchen over giving the three-year-old a bath. I HATE bath time!

      • I can sure understand that even though my husband somehow seems to manage to dirty every pot, pan and cooking utensils we have in just making a “one pot” meal. And he usually only ‘cooks’ when I’m ill or have commitments outside the home do what a unique treat it is to come home to. 😆😭

      • Haha, sounds like me after I’m doing a three recipe shoot day. And that is WITH cleaning as I go! Sometimes I think “it would be easier to move than clean all this up”.

      • Nooooo….. I used to LOVE bath time!! We split up the after dinner chores too – one did the kitchen and washing up, and the parent who did bathroom duty would usually end up sitting on the floor in the bathroom, with a book, while the children had loads of water splashing fun, sometimes 40 minutes of water splashing haha (with warm water topping up of course)!! Then once they’d finished with their playing, it was time for washing and ‘jamas and that only took a few minutes!

      • That is pretty much how it goes here, and Bennett will sit in there for 30-60 minutes easily. I think it has something to do with too much sitting. I’m just not comfortable sitting that long I guess.

  7. 1.  It makes me crazy when the person in the front of a turn lane takes FOREVER to start moving when the turn signal changes to green.

    2.  Our dog was diagnosed with cancer last week.  My husband grew up on a farm where dogs are more like a tool than a pet and he’s completely against paying for treatment (we can afford it but he thinks it’s a waste).  Guess what?  We’re paying for treatment.

    3.  My best friend ripped out her kitchen cabinets that she hated while her husband was away on a trip.  She told him she had to tear them out due to a plumbing leak (not true) and swore me to secrecy so now I’m an accomplice.

    • Re 1: we have a lot of roundabouts in our town and people are terrified to use them.

      I’m so sorry about your dog and hope the treatments work!

      Haha, I like your best friend. I constantly threaten Troy that I’m going to do the same thing.

  8. Ok my confession…. I quit my job! 
    I totally have another lined up just waiting for orientation but as of right now I’m unemployed. Maybe I should use this time to work on my blog which is seriously suffering due to my lack of sleep and time. I actually took a nap with my toddler today 🤭. Someone give me the gumption to make apple cobbler so I can post the pictures. I don’t even wanna eat apple cobbler so who wants the pan lmao

  9. I raised two boys so was always outnumbered 3 to 1. But now there is payback since they are both married and their wives side with me. He, he, he. Something to look forward to.

  10. My husband recently got a puppy. I am not a dog person, and I did not want a puppy. We have two cats two pre-teen boys in premier soccer (3 days a week) (6 practices plus 2 games a week) and hubby travels for work. I don’t think it was fair of him to put all that responsibility on the boys and I, as none of us wanted a puppy or even a grown ass dog to take care of. Hubby said he wanted a companion, well he got one but he’s losing his wife’s interest and the boys are calling him selfish behind his back.

  11. I’ll admit we SORT of do the birthWEEK thing in my house for my husband and me but it’s really kidding and it’s more because we’re sort of half-assed about the bd. in the first place. So it’s more like it’s just spread out across the week. And it’s like, “Oh I get the remote, it’s my birthWEEK,” not, “I get a $300 steak dinner” or something.
    I would add to the “must do” list, teach their kids how to make a damn phone call. Or go to the door to pick up a friend or date. How hard is it to say, “Hi I’m ____, is __ home?” or whatever? I realize landlines are dinosaurs but they do exist and eventually they’re going to have to pick up a date and impress the father. Instead, I pick up the phone and say, “Hello” and the kid says, “Hello?” No!

  12. 1. I believe there should be a blocked off time at target where no children or people over 65 are allowed.  Preferably from 11:30 am to 1:30 pm.  Any week day.  I need to get sh!t done in my allotted lunch hour.  Karen get your screaming Tommy out of the aisle I need to get down. His safety is not my priority, getting TP and dish soap in 17 min or less is.

    Whew.  I feel better

  13. 1. I hate open house at school. Full on hate it. In all honesty as long as my kids are learning I don’t care what they’re doing. No I don’t want to sit through an entire presentation on 7th grade. Guess what “linda”, I’m 40 I already went to 7th grade. No I don’t want to see every piece of paper my kid has ever put a damn pencil on “pam”. They are your problem for 6hrs a day. If they are little a-holes call me. Otherwise, keep your damn crafts and let me not be at school in the evening.

    2. I live with 4 males 10% of everyday is cleaning my bathroom because it ALWAYS SMELLS LIKE PEE.

    3. I hide the good cookies inside an old box of fiber one. No one looks there.

    4. I’m CLEARLY out of emotional support cookies.

    • I live with 4.5 boys (the baby only counts as half) and my significant other makes all the males, including himself, sit down to pee so we avoid all the gross pee splashes! I freakin love it! He’s cleaner than I am! 😍🥰

      I have a secret chocolate stash in my closet for me only. Some of my children have caught on but it’s up high so they can’t reach. 

      I hate when ladies say “hubby” or “hubs” or any variance of. 

      Misspelling the word “angel” with “angle” makes me cringe a little as well.  What acute angle baby…. I could go on and on with the misspellings. “Apart” and “a part” 

      • Dear Erica, we must be long lost sisters! My husband also used to sit however somewhere along the nearly 30 year road we’ve shared he seems to have given it up for experience.

        Hubby or hubs and their variations along with all the misspellings make me crazy as well.

      • Expedience was changed to experience by spell checking that believes it knows what I wish to say. ☺️

    • I too hate open house! I still have PTSD from our kinder experience and assume any interaction = hearing that my child is a terrorist.

      The pee thing drives me crazy. I swear that boy pee smells 400% worse than girl pee. I will remove the toilet seat from time to time and soak it in the bathtub with some bleach (and I know how bad bleach is, but…boy pee). I also clean under the rim with a pumice stone a few times a year. This more than anything helps a ton. And finally, I use my homemade cleaner that is loaded with peppermint essential oil.

  14. Yield means yield to oncoming traffic people, it does not mean stop dead and text your bff!! Arghhh!
    Thank God Sarah has great recipes or my peeps would starve!
    “Put on your clothes for school” does not mean show up at breakfast naked! Mmmkay, enuf said!
    Grocers, please stock your shelves so that those of us with limited windows of opportunity way before the crack of noon will not have to shop multiple stores!!

  15. I would add to number 5, a teacher/substitute teacher but I might be biased there… 

  16. Oh my gosh, the hiding candy one made me snarf. Except I think I’m the only one that does that… In my house, anything my husband can’t find is my fault because I “put something on top/in front of it” (can you feel how hard I am rolling my eyes?). He also tries to pull “birthmonth” crap, which I don’t subscribe to. Mostly because I forget about it when it’s my birthmonth, but whatever.

  17. Love these! I sometimes get all ‘girlie’ and ask my husband to do the things I don’t want to do, but he thinks I can’t do. Does that make me manipulative?

  18. OMG #7, yes!!!