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Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

Confession 1

If we eat out at a restaurant, I usually pack my own hot sauce in my purse. Some places don’t have what I want, and sometimes they charge you to make your order spicy.

And it’s never hot enough for me. At my favorite teriyaki place I say “don’t make it white girl spicy”, but they always do. They always do.

Confession 2

My husband Troy is a firefighter. This means he trains at work on how to save lives in really creative ways. If your car flew over a barrier and into a ravine, his crew could pull you out with some Macgyver-style rigging of who knows what.

Give them a ladder, some rope, and um, Big League Chew bubble gum and they’re coming in hot to get you to safety.

But, if your life depended on him putting our mixing bowls away correctly in the cupboard, YOU WILL DIE.

Confession 3

I’ve never been behind a PT Cruiser that was actually going the speed limit. Do they tell you when you purchase them that you must drive 5-10 mph below the speed limit?

Confession 4

We made little goodie bags for the kids in Bennett’s class for his birthday. I have a visceral reaction when he brings home all that plastic crap that will never be played with and just adds to the clutter of his room.

So, we did little boxes of crayons, a bottle of bubbles, fig bars, and organic fruit leather. And um, I put in all flavors of fig bars and fruit leathers that my kids don’t like.

Confession 5

You know that song “Me and Bobby McGee” by Janis Joplin? There’s a line that says “windshield wipers serpentine” but I always sing out “windshield wipers turpentine”. Every dang time.

ETA: since posting this I’ve found out I’m STILL wrong about the lyrics. HA!

Confession 6

It drives me bananas on shows and podcasts when people say “jail” but mean “prison”. “This person did this crime and was sent to jail for 10 years”. Nooooooo, they were sent to prison for 10 years. In almost all cases, jails are only intended for people who are sentenced to fewer than 12 months.

In the same vein, nobody (even reporters) understand the difference between an EMT and a paramedic. And I also never knew until my husband became a firefighter/EMT.

For everyone in the back, listen up. An EMT is someone who has been to school for like three months, got a certificate and passed a test. A paramedic attended super-intense training for 1,200-1,800 hours, and then passed a big honking test.

Confession 7

When I was in high school, I worked as a receptionist at a salon that was pretty close to our high school. We accepted walk-ins, which meant people were constantly coming in to schedule a haircut.

Most of the students who came in would say “hey, you go to (name of our high school), right”? Anytime super popular students who were also jerks would come in and would ask for a haircut, I’d ask them for their name, even though I knew who they were. Watching the damaged ego look cross their face brought me more joy than I care to admit.

Confession 8

Have you ever seen this logo on cars or clothes before:

For the longest time, I thought it was HEDI. And then one day I was sitting behind a van that had it on the back window and all a sudden I figured it out. Doy.

 

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

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31 comments on “Confessions”

  1. That is so great about the salon! 😆 I love it!

    That he > I thing is so cringey to me, so is the not of this world or “ notw” sticker.. or those effing baby on board stickers. Love your religion and your babies! Yes, but I don’t know why I dislike those stickers so much. Same with yolo 🤢 or those stick figure families. I’m just a snob I guess ?

  2. This week was the start of the new school year here in Australia. Our school had a “Tissues and Tim Tams” gathering for weepy mums. Umm, pass. I’m the kind of mum who cries on the last day of school, not the first! Haha

    • 1) I love that
      2) I love Tim Tams
      3) We have tissues and muffins at our school. When Jack started kindergarten I was high fiving all the other parents who worked out of the home because we no longer had to pay for daycare. LOL

  3. Wow! Thanks for clarifying the difference between an EMT and a Paramedic. Sadly, I’m one of the many that didn’t know. Not to diminish the role of the EMT but I would be a chapped if someone didn’t understand the distinction.

    So, not a slow-moving PT Cruiser but I always tend to see them with vanity plates. It’s like an unwritten rule that if you have a PT Cruiser, you must have a vanity plate.

    The HE > i is HUUUUGGGGEEE in Hawaii (my husband is from there). It took me a long time to figure out.

    I am not in a hurry to correct any lyrics I may sing incorrectly but I do find it really funny when someone else is wrong. My sister’s friend from high school always used to sing “Harrigan Quinn” to Billy Ocean’s “Caribbean Queen”. That doesn’t even make any sense. 🙂

    • Yep, I had zero clue too until Troy joined the profession!

      I did see the HE>i started in Hawaii so that makes total sense it’s big over there.

      Harrigan Quinn? Like Harly Quinn maybe? lol

  4. I can clean and put away all the dishes, but can’t stand cleaning my husbands bento box. I finally told him if you want me to make you lunches, you have to clean it before dinner. I don’t know what it is, I can clean my son’s bento no problem, but his? 🤢 maybe it’s the blue cheese from his salad haha

    • Oh yeah, dressing in a bento box is NASTY to clean out! Jack went through a phase where he wanted peanut butter in his for apples and I resented it strongly.

  5. I actually at first thought it was a reference to the store REI. My confession:   I hate how my husband folds towels. And yes I hear you -‘ I cant’t believe your husband folds anything!’.  There is a big sign at my gym that says don’t put winter boots in the lockers but I do all the time.  And sometimes when I am shopping I go into a store that sells lotions just so that I can use the samples! 

    • Everyone helps out, and nobody gets a pass just because they’re a dude. And they should do it right!

      Is the winter boots thing because of water and mud?

      Love the lotion thing!

      • The boot thing is because of mud and snow but I actually do wipe my feet on the three industrial type mats that they have prior to even entering the locker room.  (I am not that obnoxious – I think😜) 

      • Where in the heck do they expect you to put them if not in the lockers?

      • They expect you to put your boots on the mat when you first walk into the locker room. Which means you would have to walk in your socks across the locker room to the lockers. PS – there is a pool at the gym so the locker room floor is usually wet and just plain gross. Feel.my.pain. – lol.  

      • Yeah, that’s a no go. Plus, someone might steal them!

  6. My parents had A PT Cruiser for a while and I can guarantee they they rarely, if ever, drove under the limit.  (they also have zero stickers/magnets on any vehicles)  Maybe they got rid of it because that WAS in the manual and they couldn’t do it?  Although they told me that it was because it sucked in snow.

    Windshield wipers slappin’ time….  but it may be serpentine from now on! hahaha!

    I did not know the differences (jail/prison  OR paramedics/EMTs) at all.  Never too late to learn.

    Fig bars?  I wonder if the kids will still like you after THAT…..   (I can’t even ear NutriGrain bars because that is what they remind me of.  Ick.)  I like the way you think though, shipping off the un-loved flavours.  Smart. We always did things like pencils and notebooks (things that will get used up, was our thought) and treats.  But I always went for candy since it was for a celebration.

    I have never seen that HE>i thing before.  But I thought it was “hedi” when I first saw it in your post.

    Funny timing.  I just finished arranging my mixing bowls into the proper order while putting one away.  someone had messed them all up!

    • It does not look like it would be a good snow car at all.

      My kiddos love fig bars and all the kids from preschool were eating them on the field trip. So I think it’s a safe bet!

  7. #3 PT Cruisers also have to have a Theme that includes multiple stickers and magnets. It’s in the owner’s manual, apparently.
    #6 Ahem…We EMT’s have to do a test AND pass Practical Skills 🙂 That being said, huge shout out to paramedics. Much respect!!
    My confessions:
    ~When I put our third and last child on the bus for Kindergarten, I danced in the street. No tears from this mama.
    ~When driving, I will do everything I can to make a right hand turn and avoid turning left in front of traffic. Only because I am too impatient to wait and I can make a right turn on red.
    ~I hate putting clean clothes/dishes away. Not sure why, since I prefer not to have clutter.

    • I’ve never noticed the stickers before but I’m totally on the lookout for them now.

      I said you had to pass a test! LOL. Test is written and practical. I remember laying on the cold living room floor for hours while Troy was in school so he could practice assessments on me. Sometimes I was so bored I pretended I was dead.

      I bet it was a great bus stop dance!

  8. My friend’s husband (a paramedic) schooled us so hard on the difference between paramedics and EMTs. Will never make that mistake again! And my fiance is also really picky about the difference between jail and prison and using the proper term.

  9. Ummm. It’s “windshield wipers slappin’ time”, as in keeping rhythm with the song. 😕

  10. Ok the HE>i has me mystified. The only thing I can think of is a religious reference but then why would it be on clothes?