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It is time to get some things off of my chest.  And thanks to two years of nursing, sadly it can’t be my bra.

-I feel like if I see one more blog showing photos of someone’s house looking like Pottery Barn took a dump all over it, I might explode.  Here is what two patches of my carpet look like, courtesy of the last renters.


I love being organized, thanks to growing up with borderline hoarders.  That being said, the bedroom in our basement is a shithole dumping zone.  My desk is a nightmare of crap shoved in every drawer, and most of my garage makes me want to kick a puppy.  Remember that episode of Friends when it was discovered Monica had the secret hoarding closet?  This is my hoarding kitchen drawer:

 Who needs 4,812 neon green and orange chopsticks?  Me.  That’s who.

-I desperately want a house cleaner, but it would likely be wasted money, since I know I’d clean the house before he/she came.

-When I’m sad, bored, or feeling like my life is out of control, I online shop.  I’m trying to be better, and I talked myself off of the ledge the other day from buying a lawn mower on Amazon, simply because my lawn is long right now, and I don’t want to use my push mower because I feel lazy.  And we have a really small lawn.

-I would love to change my blog name, get my own domain, and produce an amazing fabulous site.  However, I’m so lazy right now, the name title would likely be titled “Yoga pants.  Phish Food.  Killing Seedlings.  And Ponies”.  (trademarked)

-Those bears on the Charmin commercials creep me out.

-I wonder why I get so many pageviews, but so few comments.

-I feel like that plastic bag on American Beauty – being tossed in so many directions.  And white.  And flat.  I go from wanting to quit my job and blog full-time, to thinking I should go to grad school because I see no room for advancement at my current company.

-I want wood floors, despite the fact that we could never afford it.  Troy, the man with asthma and who is allergic to everything, wants carpet.  Disgusting, nasty, dust mite love-shack carpet.  Jack got a plasma car for his birthday from his Auntie Anne.  I tried using it as a justification that we need wood floors.

-The weather here is amazing this week.  I saw a man driving a Miata with the top down, and rocking driving gloves.  M’kay.

-Every night, I kiss a sleeping, sweet, wonderful Jack, and promise that tomorrow I will be the momma he deserves.

No later than 6:15 am the next day, I’ve already told him he is driving me nuts.  Go me.

Ahhhh, confession is good for the soul.  That felt good.  Surely, you’d like to share a few things too?

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77 comments on “Confessions”

  1. – The Burger King mask guy is creepier to me than the bears, but not by much.
    – I realized today that buying a new drying rack does not count as doing laundry.
    – I have that exact same hoarding drawer in my kitchen.
    – Are blog names like drag names or stripper names?
    – What’s under your rugs? Is a laminate or something a possibility?
    – I could live with the confessional becoming a monthly feature. More like this, please!

    • OMG, the Burger King guy!

      I want a helper monkey to hang my laundry for me. And fold it. And put it away. I have no problem putting the clothes in the washer, but the rest. Meh.

      If blog names were like stripper names, my new site would be called “Skookie Branson”.

      It’s just subfloor. Nothing special sadly.

      Done and done!

  2. love the confessions! commenting, so you know i’m not a lurker….now if it will just post!

  3. I totally feel you on everything. I too get a lot of page views and seriously my mom is the only person who comments. Occasionally a new person or a friend does, but it is so weird. I love your blog and I am sorry I don’t comment more often.

  4. Charmin Bears…I agree with you. I hate how they always talk in poo-poo inuendos. :-p

  5. Haha the Miata that you saw, was it blue? Sounds like my boyfriend if it was 🙂

  6. My confession: I stalk your blog on a daily basis and hardly ever comment because I’m afraid you will think I’m creepy.

  7. I love your blog. I use tons of the recipe and F.A.R.T.S are my favorite.
    My confession is, I’m in grad school and I use house cleaning as procrastination. During finals, my house is impeccably clean, but my papers go unwritten.
    All this talk about boys being crazy scares me. My husband and I are about to start trying for kids and I want a girl so much!
    I want a house so I can finally start using some gardening tips.
    Power through it sister! You got this!

    • I am the same way at work. If I have a big presentation coming up (like tomorrow and Tuesday), I will spend the time cleaning my office. We’re talking trimming the leaves on my plants, dusting, everything!

      Boys are INSANE, but wonderful. I’ve been told they’re harder up front, but you’ll be thankful for a boy when they hit 11 or 12

  8. Sarah, I adore you. No, I f*ing love you!! Think I will become a creepy online blog stalker, K? 🙂

    Thank you for always bravely putting yourself out there so the rest of us don’t feel so alone. I’m a Virgo….a Virgo with ADD. I have all these awesome plans, get everything ready that I need to do it, get started and…..get bored. Either I finish it in a half assed way or it just doesn’t get finished because I get distracted by a shiny squirrel and forget I ever started it. Heck, we put laminate floors in the house 5 years ago and STILL don’t have the baseboards back up….ugh!!!!!

    Today I have a list of things to accomplish before my 55 hour work week starts tomorrow. I will probably start about half of the list, if I am VERY lucky one thing will actually get finished. **sigh*

    • I don’t know much about signs, but I’ll take your word for it that being a Virgo with ADD must be a bit scattered? Who needs baseboards? Baseboards are for the 1%. LOL

  9. I love your site and read often 🙂 Confession for the day: I am glad you have a kitchen junk drawer like mine, it makes me like you more since a woman who cans and makes her own sodas makes me feel useless as a person.

    • LOL, I do those things because it saves me money, not because I like it. If you’ve read my canning posts, you know how much I loathe it.

      Want to see my desk drawers? :shudders:

  10. I love love love your blog! I subscribe to about 50 blogs -cuz that’s what you’re supposed to do, right? Yours is the only one I read every single time you publish. I love that you talk about going to church and then say fuck it in the next paragraph. I love that you express your true feelings about motherhood. I love that you have a handle on meal planning, I hope some day to get there. I’m challenged with feeding the community of tape worms that must live inside my husband, but I swear I’ll get the budget figured out. Thanks most of all for being real and having the balls to share it.

    • Awww, thank you!!!

      I think your tape worms needs a city name. Like “tapetopia” or something. IF there is a whole community, they need a decent place to live.