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Oh the monthly post where we unburden our souls, have a laugh, and giggle at the insanity of life.  I’m ready!  You ready?

1) One of my goals for 2015 was to “be more selfish”.  In February, I’m going to do something that seems crazy selfish.  I’ve wanted a very expensive piece of kitchen equipment for years.  YEARS.  Every time I make a smoothie or hummus, I grumble that my food processor or generic blender just aren’t cutting it.  But the cash…oh the cash…it was too much.

That’s right folks, I’m buying a Vitamix next month.  Just typing it makes me want to puke in my mouth a little bit because it costs more than my entire labor and delivery with Jack.

We have the Costco American Express card, and get our rebate back each February which is something like 2% for all purchases and 3 or 4% for gas.  I guesstimated our rebate, and then have been saving a little bit each paycheck for the remainder of what this BMW of blenders is going to cost me.  Costco has them, and I hope they’ll be back on sale again at the end of February when I’m going to pick “her” up.

I have quite the collection of spendy kitchen supplies like my grain mill, my stand mixer, and my food processor, but they are things I use every single week.  I’m not the person to get a fancy toy and then put it away…nope I play with my toys almost daily.  And I’m very excited to bring this one home.

But still, holy crap balls they’re expensive.

2) A few weeks before Christmas I was knitting a scarf for a friend.  It started out cute, and then got really ugly really quickly.  I simply couldn’t give it to someone and wish them with a Merry Christmas with a straight face.  So, I gave it to Troy and told him on his next shift to give it to a homeless person.

I’m not someone who sits on the couch and “just” watches TV well (it bores me), so I’ve started going through all my old ugly yarn and knitting more scarves for more homeless people.

It’s 50% charity, 50% making room for cuter stuff.

3) Until last year, I thought the saying “more useless than tits on a boar” was actually “more useless than tits on a board”.  I argued with the person who told me it was really “on a boar”.  She said “well you know, tits on a male pig are useless” to which I replied “um yeah, as they are on a board”.  I still pretty much think my version makes as much sense.

4) My mom has really cold hands.  I used to hate clothes shopping with her because when she did that thing where she’d snake her hands at the back of my pants to make sure they had enough room, my internal organs would freeze from skin to skin contact with her.  I never understood how one person could have so little circulation in their extremities.

Now of course I have the freezing cold hands.  Troy calls me “ice mitts”, and a coworker used me to cool her skin after getting a sunburn last summer.

Because my hands can’t be trusted to estimate normal temperatures, Jack has to test his own bath water.  I tried using my elbow and my forearm, but finally gave up after too many temp failures.  Now, Jack dips his toe in the tub before getting in, because I simply can’t be trusted.

5) I’ve always hung our laundry because it’s better for the clothes, the environment, and saves us a boatload from rarely running the dryer.  With all the construction dust we had for a solid month, I was forced to dry everything in the dryer.

It was like a vacation for me.  I felt like the first person who witnessed a microwave.  I kept saying “I put these clothes in here and in only 40 minutes they’re DRY”.  It was a miracle and I enjoyed it.

I’m back to hanging stuff, and it’s honestly just about as much work, but I’m still tempted every once in a while to just chuck everything in the dryer.

6) Our garbage service for our area is once a week for garbage and every other week for recycling.  We changed our garbage to every other week to save money, and usually it’s just about full on garbage day.  Our recycling is almost always full after only one week.  When I text our neighbors to see if I can put stuff in their recycling, they always have tons of room, but their garbage cans which are picked up weekly are stuffed.

I really wish that garbage was mandatory every other week and recycling was weekly for everyone.  I think if you required people to think about what they were throwing away and how they were purchasing things (disposable, one use, etc.,) our societal consumption would go WAY down.  I know so many of our own choices adjusted when we left our old apartment (dumpster meant you didn’t have to really think about how much you were tossing), and were faced with a smaller garbage can.

7) If it were not for a pair of well-used $18 13-year-old Tweezerman tweezers, I would have a caveman style unibrow.  Troy naturally has gorgeous eyebrows with zero grooming (and perfect skin) and I hate him for it!

8) I really want a rabbit.  Troy won’t let me get any more outdoor animals, and we can’t have indoor animals because of his allergies.

I don’t want a rabbit for snuggling or anything, but because rabbit poop is AMAZING fertilizer for the garden.  Maybe I need to start trolling Craigslist for poop.

9) You know how you’re supposed to tap a knife in to the side of an avocado pit and pull it out?

Yay, I can’t do that.

I CAN’T.  I’ve tried and I have never had success at it.  I have cut myself multiple times, so now I just scoop the pit out with a spoon.

10) Troy has a decent amount of grey in his hair.  I’ve been cutting his hair since about three months after we started dating.  We haven’t spent at dime on male hair cuts in this house since 2002.

I use a number two (hee hee) guard on the sides, but wish he would let me use a number three.  The number two makes the sides so short and 95% of the grey disappears.

Maybe I’m weird but I think grey hair is sexy as hell.  My number one celebrity freebie is Jon Stewart, and damn I think part of it is the hair.  Hubba hubba.

11) Speaking of celeb freebies, in junior high I had a huge crush on Bob Costas.

Yes, that Bob Costas.

I’m starting to sound like I have a “daddy” complex with all these older guys, but my thing for Bob was because he was so kind an encouraging and always sounded so freaking smart.

Your turn.  Let the reader confessing begin!

About Sarah

Helping you serve up budget-friendly sustainable recipes with a side of balanced living.
Come for the food. Stay for the snark.

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  1. I used to be a Concierge at a big hotel in Louisville, KY – where the Derby is. Bob Costas is the commentator every year for NBC, or whichever network it is…and he is one of the snottiest celebrities I ever worked with ;/ I could name one or two others who were worse, and loads who were just awesome, but Bob is a short, snotty man. (On the other hand, his wife is just lovely – great to work with.)

    1. You just crushed the 8th grade version of me!

      Incidentally, Troy said Adam Sandler was such a brat when he worked with him. He seems so cool, but he was pretty rude.

  2. Have you checked out Vitamix’s certified reconditioned options? They are backed by the same warranty as their new machines, but are a lot cheaper. It might be a better deal than Costco sale + rebate.

    We have had a reconditioned Vitamix for about a year now, and it gets used literally every day, often twice a day, and every part of it looks brand new. Between the reconditioned price, a sale, and a 25% discount for medical need, we paid only $150 including shipping. It paid for itself the first month we had it.

  3. My confessions:

    1. I am an admin/analyst for a large company and there are 5 other admin/analysts in the office. for some reason, they feel that ALL of us should eat lunch together everyday. umm, sometimes i like to mix it up and sit with people who actually have stuff to talk about rather than bullshit stuff. when i say i’m not ready for lunch, they react like i told them to fu*k off! (i do like a couple of the admins though)

    2. One of the admins smacks her food while she eats….it drives me freakin’ crazy and i can’t even look up when she is eating. I don’t want to hear her eat! It’s like listening to a cow chewing cud. AND, sometimes, she eats with her mouth open or talks with it full. so gross.

    3. I LOVE to hang out my laundry! but, i stop when it’s too cold for my hands. sooo, once it’s cold, the clothespin bag comes in the house and the dryer is used exclusively. it is like a vacation for me (timewise) but i miss that fresh-dried smell on my clothes.

    4. i am oddly addicted to the Starsky and Hutch reruns showing at 9pm. Addicted enough to want/wish my husband to go to our room to watch tv, and our son to go play xbox in his room so i can watch it. if i miss an episode, i feel like i’ve forgotten something important! (and honestly, the show was kind of predictable and some of the plots are eh, okay, but i have to watch.)

    5. I love working from home 2x a week. my laundry is done, my vacuuming is done, i get to watch 1 1/2 hours of Hogans Heroes during the day and can start dinner early. tonight we are having calzones so i am making the dough during the day. I love my job. and it doesn’t involve listening to someone else eat!

    1. My husband smacks his lips when eating! It is the single most annoying sound on the planet. Anytime we eat I have to have some type of noise like tv or music to try and cover the noise, otherwise i would go insane. It honestly cant be that hard to eat normal.

      My confession is sometimes when I feel really crappy, I will watch my exercise video and pretend I worked out….

  4. I am a “collector” of words. So while reading I was quickly drawn in to the “more useless than tits on a boar” debate. (Which I agree with, yet also agree that yours makes sense!) Then as I continue reading I am once again conflicted with your saving “a boatload from rarely running the dryer.” I thought that I had never heard that…it was “a buttload!” However, I do admit the boat sounds a bit nicer. Truth be told, they are both correct and actual forms of measurement! My confession? I really don’t care how people use words, and don’t need to correct anyone, but always, always want to know the proper usage for myself. Thanks for sending me searching today for truth. I really enjoy your site and your honesty.

      1. I use buttload exclusively and when asked exactly how to quantify a buttload, I respond, “One Metric Ass-ton”

    1. A buttload is an actual form of measurement????? That is awesome!
      No I have to look up how, but I am a bit nervous about it. I am not sure I WANT to know just how a buttload would be measured…..
      My turn to thank YOU, Dody, for giving me something to do! 🙂

  5. You inspired me to post confessions on my own blog once a month and mine were posted today too.

    I had a rabbit for years and the poop was driving me crazy, but back then I didn’t have any interest in gardening. Now I garden and I have zero interest in having any kind of pets. I did see rabbit poop sold in bags at my local grocery store a number of years ago, back when we still had our rabbit, and I had suggested to my stepdaughters (whose rabbit it was) that they bag ours and try to sell it door to door in the neighborhood but they weren’t interested. Maybe you can post a request for rabbit poop on one of those local Facebook Freecycle groups that I keep reading about in almost all the blogs (I don’t Facebook so I’m not sure how to find those).

    I think grey hair is sexy too! My husband’s temples started turning gray a number of hairs ago and he always got his hair cut really really short because of it. Then a year ago he decided to start growing a beard (and I hated it at first because I so dislike facial hair but actually it’s “grown” on me (ha!) and now I like it…) and he also started keeping his hair longer. It’s almost all gray now and I think he looks sexy as hell!

    Never heard of the avocado pit/knife trick. Too much work for me, a spoon works just fine. Or my fingers if the avocado is ripe enough.

    Ever since I started following The Non Consumer Advocate and The Frugal Girl, my recycling bins and composting bins have been full, full, full and our trash output has dramatically decreased. Of course, in the meantime, several of my older teens have moved out of the house as well, which has helped a lot. We don’t get to choose how often our pick-ups are and we get a trash and a recycling pick-up every week. There are only 4 houses on our block and I’m the only one who recycles. I’ll even fish the toilet paper cores and yogurt pots out of the trashcans in the house to put them in the recycling bin. My hubby thinks recycling is B.S. because here they all burn it anyway so he won’t take the extra 2 steps to put something in the recycling bin. Thankfully, he has many other fine qualities…

    I used to hang my clothes to dry back when I worked and had 6 kids at home and that was a lot of work… and we all thought the clothes were too stiff (I don’t use softener). So I went back to using the dryer for several years. This past year I got new racks and I’m now air drying the polyester/exercise clothing, cleaning cloths, cloth napkins, undies and socks. I put the rest of the cotton clothing in the dryer. It’s allowed me to save a little bit of energy/money and I’m actually having fun hanging them… and I kind of wish I could hang all of them. But I’d have a revolt on my hands if I did. Yes, I use vinegar as a softener but the clothes are still too stiff (we have really hard water here).

    I’ve been wanting one of those cool-looking heavy-duty KitchenAid food processors and mixers, the kind that will take a meat-grinding attachment and will also knead bread dough, but I just can’t bring myself to spend that kind of money (or even rewards!) on a cooking implement when the cheaper ones that I have do an OK job. Plus they wouldn’t fit under my upper cabinets on my tiny counter space. So I keep on salivating when I see them and then I get to feel quite smug about not having spend hundreds of dollars on a mixer (while crying inside cuz I really would love one). If I ever win the lottery, it might be one of the first things that I buy 🙂

    1. If you throw your clothes in the dryer once they are dry for 10 minutes or so, they soften up a bit. I learned that trick from one of Sarah’s earlier posts about her laundry process :0)

      1. Tina is correct. And a really wet washcloth in the dryer with the air-dried clothes gets the crunchies out. 🙂

      2. I used to hate how stiff the clothes would be but since I started making my own laundry soap I don’t have that problem anymore.

  6. I want rabbits too! But for meat (though we would use the “fertilizer” as well). While chickens are illegal in city limits here, there is nothing that says I can’t get rabbits! Oh, and they are quieter, reproduce like crazy and the meat is supposedly healthier.


    #1We got a dog in November and I love her, but I really miss not having to hurry home or alter our vacation plans because of a dog. That being said, she LOVES the kiddo and the kiddo loves her right back. Which was the main reason we got her.

    #2 I am doing a Fresh Meat Boot Camp with our local Roller Derby girls and its so freaking awesome! I use to roller skate competitively as a kid (picture ice skating but on roller skates and warmer!) which meant we were at the rink 3-5 days a week, skating for hours each session. I was so freaking happy that most of my skating skills came back right away. I feel like a total bad-ass knowing I can do what some the Derby Girls can do and in some cases, even better.

    #3 I kinda hold back on the rink because the friend that convinced me to give derby a try can’t skate very well and I kinda feel like a show off (even though I am not!).

    #5 I hate how broke we are now that I am not taking classes (I qualify for VA education benefits). Makes me want to get a job, but then I realize no job is going to be as flexible as on-line classes. Looks like I will be starting classes up again in March.

    #6 We are part of a homeschool co-op that meets once a month. Emma’s best friend, who introduced us to the co-op, just moved out of state and I really think I’d like to quit the co-op. The other ladies and kids are o.k., but really? I feel like my Thursdays would be better spent doing other things. Although, I do love teaching the older kids jiu-jitsu.

    #7 I am sucking at my new year goal to not hog your comment section.

    Oh- the Vitamix. Don’t get a refurbished one. We did that 4ish years ago and I have sent it back twice. Still won’t totally blend my frozen bananas/strawberries in a smoothie (with plenty of liquid). Now all I use it for is smoothies because I don’t have the patience to deal with it’s inadequacies with tougher stuff. Tempted to go buy a magic bullet to replace it.

    p.s. Add grass-fed beef gelatin to your smoothies for a protein boost (1tbsp adds no flavor, no noticeable texture difference, but 8-12g of protein).

  7. My husband chews his food weird – when he is congested I can barely eat at the same table.

    I can’t stand when someone nuzzles my neck. I made the dumb mistake of telling hubby that. Now he will scrape his 5 o’clock shadow on my neck. Eeekkkk – like nails on a chalk board.

    I will put off going to the bathroom for hours at work because the bathroom is like ice. I actually have gotten a UTI because of this.

    My number one hate chore is putting clothes away. I will cheerfully wash & fold. But putting them AWAY – mmmm – can we hire someone?

    *** I wish we lived closer – you could have allllll the rabbit poop u wanted 🙂