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Confessions – January

E’rbody loves a good confession!

If you’re new here, confession posts are where we unburden ourselves of the silly things that have been rattling around in our heads. The things where if you said them aloud in mixed company, you may get some odd looks. But, if you throw them up on the internet, they’re good for a laugh. And to know you’re not alone!

  1. Each and every time I am outside in the garden and hear a crow making that clicking sound…I think there is a solid chance it could be Predator. Exact.Same.Sound.
  2. I don’t care about Mary Poppins. Unclench everyone. I don’t care if you care about Mary Poppins, but it just isn’t my thing. I’m not sure I’ve even seen the original movie all the way through, and I can’t stand musicals. People who love Poppins are so happy about the remake but I just can’t find any energy to care. I’m sorry!
  3. I need to use a calculator when I check Jack’s fourth-grade homework. The kind the kids have to do without a calculator. Sometimes even the kind they have to complete using only “mental math”.
  4. After a few too many instances of Bennett saying potty words during church (Pastor: “peace be with you”. Bennett: “niiiiippppppppples”), we made it a rule that he can only say potty words in the bathroom. Which means at any given time, there is a two-year-old running into our hallway bathroom to scream “penis, nipples, poop” at the top of his lungs.
  5. I often think I will be better at being a grandma than a mom. My patience is a hair trigger thin these days.
  6. We’re constantly working with Jack on his desire for more, more, more. It’s mid-January and he still has Christmas presents in their original boxes and yet he is already planning his birthday wish list. We talk about contentment with what we have and to be thankful to have anything in the first place. And yet, 19 times a day when I walk into my kitchen I think “I neeeeeeeed a new kitchen”. I don’t. I just hate our kitchen and it’s exceptionally stupid how it is laid out. I have fantasies of a sledgehammer attack on that kitchen.
  7. We got Jack a Nintendo Switch for Christmas along with Troy’s parents and sister/husband. I’m been against video games for years and vowed to never to let Jack have a gaming system. And yet I was the one who came up with the idea for Switch. Why? Because I needed something to take away that he cared enough about to make a punishment truly a punishment. At almost 10 years old, sending Jack to his room when he is being a tool is no longer effective. I needed there to be something he loved so that it would hurt when I took it away.
  8. All the males in my family think when I say “just a second” it clearly means “continue doing exactly what you were doing/saying because mom is ready to give me her undivided attention”. OMG, could you just pause for three seconds while I finish brushing my teeth instead of needing an answer immediately? I said JUST A SECOND. It is often accompanied by questions/inquiries while I am running water.

Alrighty, friends your turn! Want more confessions? Check out these previous posts.

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40 comments on “Confessions – January”

  1. I adore the original Mary Poppins musical and the books and….I loathe the idea of the new movie. I refuse to see it. Julie Andrews IS Mary Poppins, Dick Van Dyke (horrible fake accent and all) IS Bert, end. of. story.

    What I really hate is when my husband says “I’ll be right there” when I say dinner is ready, “right there” really means “I’ll be there maybe in about ten minutes.” To me, “right there” means “I am dropping what am doing to be RIGHT THERE” but if he just said “Five minutes” I would be much more understanding. My own seven year old is already suspicious of the promise “Just give me a second” because he knows, he KNOWS that stopping what you’re doing takes more than a ‘second’.

    • YES! I give the “dinner will be ready in about 5 minutes” to forewarn my husband and 13 year old daughter. Then about 10 minutes later (I always give them extra time) I let them know dinner is ready. That’s when my husband either a.) says he will be right there or b.) decides now is a good time to go to the bathroom. Seriously. I gave you plenty of time come sit at the table to we can freaking eat as a family while to food is hot!!!! Ugh.

      • Oh my gosh, my dad would do the bathroom thing right when my mom would announce dinner. She would carefully time it so dinner would be ready maybe 15 minutes after he got home, figuring that would give him time…he would come home, settle in his armchair and read the paper, and she’d call that dinner was ready…right into the bathroom he’d go for another 20 minutes! Drove my mom absolutely bats.

  2. A conversation with my 11 year old son, on our way to school, regarding band practice. 

    Me: Yoy HAVE to practice your trumpet. Like, every day!
    Cash: But I hate the trumpet!
    Me: Do you think it’s respectful to your teacher when you don’t practice?
    Cash (sullenly): No. 
    Me: So I think it would be a good sign of being respectful if you could make that effort and practice. Do you think you could do that?
    Cash: Probably not. 

    Arrrggghh!!!

    And by the way, we use our electronics time as both a bribe and take-away tool. During the school week my two kiddos aren’t allowed on them at all – unless I check their grades online and the previous week they received nothing less than a B. Then they’re allowed 30 minutes per school day. On weekends they’re allotted two hours after chores are done. My 11 year old will often ask what he can do to earn more minutes and then I have to think of chores I have no desire to do (picking up dog poop cones to mind) and assign a value to that. 

    It’s a constant evolution, but it seems to be working so far!

    • Why are kids such punks?!

      The boys each get 25 minutes of TV in the morning (about the time to watch an episode of something on Netflix or Hulu) and Jack can choose to watch TV or play the Switch. We have “ipads Wednesdays” in which he gets to watch ipad after Bennett is in bed and before he goes to sleep. Now he can choose to play the switch instead. It’s work ok. I think.

  3. Everyone I call everyone to the dinner table and they don’t come within 2 minutes of my saying it, I am ready to totally lose it. I know announce, give them a minute to get to the table, and begin eating without the rest of the family. Seems like a small thing, but I figure if I have taken the time to cook (I cook every meal…or 99% anyways), the least they could do is come eat it when it’s ready. I don’t even care if they’re not hungry at that moment…come sit at the table and tell us about your day. I have told them all numerous times how much this bugs me, yet it is still an issue. …arrrgghh

  4. I am super close to using the barn as a consequence for Emma not getting her school work done. I hate to do it because it really is her happy place AND she’s been working? Volunteering? in exchange for her lessons, so that in itself is a HUGE life lesson. But still. Get your shit done!

    I want to sell our Outback. I really, really, don’t love it. Probably because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to our last car (damn icy roads and bad drivers) and it was a rushed decision to buy this one. Luckily, I may have convinced Jared that we should sell it so we don’t have to drive two vehicles cross country to CA.

    I am having a breast reduction at the end of February. I’ve wanted this for the past 20 years, at least. I am so freaking excited about it! Nobody else in my family is, but F them, they don’t have to deal with the useless dead weight like I do.

    • There is no better time to learn adult responsibilities than before you’re an adult. Setting her up for achieving goals and fulfilling responsibilities is so much easier at 13 than 23.

      Such a bummer that you didn’t like your Outback. I know your model year was a little clunky. I adore mine so much! What are you going to get instead?

      I’m so excited for you and your surgery! My cousin had it done and it was amazing for her in the end.

      • Considering there was a solid year where the kid would cry, LITERALLY cry at the thought of being an adult and having so much responsibility, I am so so happy with how she is handling herself. There have been a few scary incidents (someone fell during a trail ride, one of the horses died suddenly, etc.) and she has handled it all so freaking well. And I love the people she is around when she is at the barn, adults and kids. It’s so good for her and it’s worth the two hour round trip (sometimes twice a day) that it takes to get her out there.

        I want a Ford Transit converted into a camper van 🙂 The only real thing I love about Betsy (our Outback) is the all wheel drive. But really, once we are in California, will I really need it?

        I have heard that over and over again. I’m kinda kicking myself for not getting it done sooner. I’m not looking forward to the recover, but I am super excited that my sister will be coming out for the first week, that Jared will be taking the second week off, and then my mother-in-law will be coming out for the third week. After that I should be good with Emma as my helper until I am fully cleared!

  5. whenever I summon DH to lay the table or whatever, he gets up off the sofa and heads for the bathroom. ALWAYS! Were you too effin lazy to get yourself there?

  6. Contentment is a good goal and sooo hard….
    In my house if you say, “we need a new x” you have to be prepared that the old one will be magically gone when you get home. For example, my fireplace… however there is no forethought to the what the f are we going to do to replace the big hole in the wall… 
    I completely endorse this as a way to achieve change and lose your s**t in the same moment. In the bright side you are so busy fixing the big hole you have no time to be discontented And it keeps the kids busy…just saying. 

  7. I confess that it is me that has to go to the bathroom when dinner is ready or it is time to go somewhere and husband is waiting in the car.
    After many years of this, husband has found a way to successfully get me to understand how my actions affect him…he leaves the gas tank on empty. I have lost my shit when realizing that I’m running late and notice the car’s gas tank light is on!

  8. #5 I was so high strung as a mom. Didn’t enjoy playing with my kids because I didn’t have the patience. And hated that about myself. But as a grandma I have totally redeemed myself!! My littles have been to Disney World and they still think Maw & Paw’s house is the best place on earth. BOOM.

    I eat more than ever when I am trying to lose weight. Like full on binge eating. I make good choices all day and then I’ll just lose it, binge eating late at night. Has nothing to do with being hungry, because I’m not. 

    I avoid turning left in traffic whenever I can. I hate waiting to turn! I lose my religion driving….sigh.

    • How many grandkiddos do you have Brenda? I “met” two of them during our Skype chat, but are there more?

      My mom was the same way with left turns!

      • Just the two thus far….they’re siblings and their parents are out of the baby game😊. My oldest 2 aren’t saying and I don’t ask. I figure if they don’t want any, it’s their business and if they can’t, I don’t want to add to their pain.

      • At least the 2 you have are super cute and sweet!!

    • Brenda, I want to say that you are an amazing mom for not pressuring your kids to have kids.

  9. * I love my husband but I sleep 1000000% better when he is out of town for work.
    * I invited my step daughter on vacation with us thinking that she is 28 and appears to have her ish together… We leave in 2 weeks… She is far from having anything together, therefore I have to make massive changes to the already planned plans. Disappointed for sure.
    * I can’t stop snacking at night… I weigh in and am still losing pounds so I keep snacking. I know that isn’t great….

    • When Troy is at work I sleep so much better. I get it!

      Nighttime snacking is a hard habit to break! I see all over the Whole30 forums that people say “have a cup of tea and wait 20 minutes to see if you’re really hungry”. If I had tea in the evening I would be peeing all night!

      • I’ve started having fizzy water with some frozen berries in it at night after supper (just finishing it now at 7:05 p.m.). The fizzy water makes me feel full and the berries are that something sweet that I usually crave after supper.

  10. I’ve used YouTube with my infant so I could work on my blog 😖

    I adopted a dog and haven’t told anyone in my family other than who live with me. 

    I cussed at customer service and tech support because the only option they could provide involved my wallet. I fixed one myself for free and the other I found for a third the price. 

    And I pestered you at least twice a week with blogging issues because I’m needy and insecure 🤣

  11. We got the state testing results from last year back for my Jack yesterday. The kid got a perfect score on the English test. I’m equal parts proud, terrified, and feeling vindicated for ignoring the holier than thou busybodies that chastised me for not breastfeeding my kids. You know, because the kids would never reach their full potential. (I’m not anti-breastfeeding, it just wasn’t right for us!)

    • Woot yay for your Jack!!! Good lord to the people who shamed you for not breastfeeding. My friend turned me onto the term “lacto-vists” for those kind of people.

      When we got Jack’s scores earlier this fall, his language arts and math skills were amazing. But he scored at “needs improvement” for listening. I told him it was scientific proof he never listens to me. I’m sure he wasn’t paying attention when I said it.

  12. My hubby never says “what is that table for” or any other form of said sentence. It is: “What for table is that?”

    What for?!? 

    WHAT FOR?!?

    Constantly. Drives me absolutely insane some days. 

  13. The new Poppins was SO BAD! I’ve decided all cast and crew knew it was a stinker which is why they promoted it so heavily. SO BAD! 

  14. Sarah,
    You TOTALLY deserve a new kitchen more than anyone I know (including myself!). Have you seen this from IKEA to submit your home to a makeover? https://www.hometourseries.com/submit
    I WANT YOU TO WIN! If there is any other “vote for me to get a makeover” you KNOW we have your back. YES there are other people who might deserve something but hell if all that you do for your readers and your husband/kids and your Dad (and Mom for so many years) and your church counts for anything at all -GO FOR IT!

    Also, I confess that I am calm, rationale and repeating my positive messages to my son for about 5 minutes and then I totally snap and lose it. Luckily neither of us stay mad too long but DAMN if I wish I could not blow my cool with the 10 year old.

    • Sarah (great name!) you’re so sweet to think of me! I checked out the link and it seems like it is only east coast cities that are eligible. I also live too far from our IKEA to meet the requirements. What a bummer but amazing for the people who actually win the contest.

      Thanks again so much for thinking of me and sharing this amazing resource.

      I’m also convinced that 9 and 10-year-olds are exceptionally frustrating and it is THEIR fault we can’t keep our cool.

  15. We did the potty talk “only at the potty” with my son too. I’m SOOO glad we caught some of it on video. 😂🤣😂🤣

  16. I love the Mary Poppins books and I’ve seen both films but they are a bit too Disney for me and the geography of films set in London drives me completely bananas. It’s really hard to suspend disbelief and I’m not sure there were that matter gas lights in London in the late 1920’s. See I’m terrible to watch films with!

    • Ha, if you really want movies ruined for you, watch them with Troy! He used to work on TV and film for over 10 years.

      I’ll tell you something which once you see it you can never unsee it. The next time you’re watching something and they are filming inside a parking garage, I guarantee the pavement will be wet. It helps the director of photography set a consistent look with the lights that the grips set up (Troy used to be a grip). But in reality, the inside of a parking garage wouldn’t be wet so it means some poor PA (production assistant which Troy started as) had to hose it down before they started filming.

  17. 1. I believe crows will be fighting us for top of the food chain one day… Every time I walk past one, I’m convinced it is seconds from taking me out
    2. I like the old Mary Poppins but the new one seems too sassy. Can’t bring myself to spend money to watch it. I’ll wait…
    3. Same! And I’m a high school math teacher….. Mental calculations are not my jam
    8. Same in my house and I have girls. They all think the words ‘Leave Mum alone’ are an invitation to seek attention in my house. I never get peace.

  18. I can so relate to number 8! All the males in my house do the same thing too. It’s so annoying…

  19. OMG #4…. you totally made my day. I think I might implement this in our house. It will give them an outlet for the potty words, and frankly I’ll laugh every time. You’re THE BEST!