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E’rbody loves a good confession!

If you’re new here, confession posts are where we unburden ourselves of the silly things that have been rattling around in our heads. The things where if you said them aloud in mixed company, you may get some odd looks. But, if you throw them up on the internet, they’re good for a laugh. And to know you’re not alone!

  1. Each and every time I am outside in the garden and hear a crow making that clicking sound…I think there is a solid chance it could be Predator. Exact.Same.Sound.
  2. I don’t care about Mary Poppins. Unclench everyone. I don’t care if you care about Mary Poppins, but it just isn’t my thing. I’m not sure I’ve even seen the original movie all the way through, and I can’t stand musicals. People who love Poppins are so happy about the remake but I just can’t find any energy to care. I’m sorry!
  3. I need to use a calculator when I check Jack’s fourth-grade homework. The kind the kids have to do without a calculator. Sometimes even the kind they have to complete using only “mental math”.
  4. After a few too many instances of Bennett saying potty words during church (Pastor: “peace be with you”. Bennett: “niiiiippppppppples”), we made it a rule that he can only say potty words in the bathroom. Which means at any given time, there is a two-year-old running into our hallway bathroom to scream “penis, nipples, poop” at the top of his lungs.
  5. I often think I will be better at being a grandma than a mom. My patience is a hair trigger thin these days.
  6. We’re constantly working with Jack on his desire for more, more, more. It’s mid-January and he still has Christmas presents in their original boxes and yet he is already planning his birthday wish list. We talk about contentment with what we have and to be thankful to have anything in the first place. And yet, 19 times a day when I walk into my kitchen I think “I neeeeeeeed a new kitchen”. I don’t. I just hate our kitchen and it’s exceptionally stupid how it is laid out. I have fantasies of a sledgehammer attack on that kitchen.
  7. We got Jack a Nintendo Switch for Christmas along with Troy’s parents and sister/husband. I’m been against video games for years and vowed to never to let Jack have a gaming system. And yet I was the one who came up with the idea for Switch. Why? Because I needed something to take away that he cared enough about to make a punishment truly a punishment. At almost 10 years old, sending Jack to his room when he is being a tool is no longer effective. I needed there to be something he loved so that it would hurt when I took it away.
  8. All the males in my family think when I say “just a second” it clearly means “continue doing exactly what you were doing/saying because mom is ready to give me her undivided attention”. OMG, could you just pause for three seconds while I finish brushing my teeth instead of needing an answer immediately? I said JUST A SECOND. It is often accompanied by questions/inquiries while I am running water.

Alrighty, friends your turn! Want more confessions? Check out these previous posts.

About Sarah

Helping you serve up budget-friendly sustainable recipes with a side of balanced living.
Come for the food. Stay for the snark.

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  1. I am a teacher with cafeteria duty every day and I hate it when kids bring lunch items they cannot open. An occasional lid off the thermos is alright but the kid who every day brings a box with cheese and crackers and cannot even open one item is a problem. There are 2 adults on duty for about 120 kids, and we’re all over the place to help. I admire one mom who sent a pair of blunt nosed scissors in her kids lunch box so they could open everything! Don’t get me started on the kids who bring sugary junk and nothing of nutritional value and then complain an hour later that they’re hungry.

    People who drive slow in the left lane. GET OUT OF THE WAY!

    When the husband announces he has unloaded the dishwasher. Thank you, but I don’t announce that I scrubbed the toilets, did all the laundry, cleaned out the flower bed, vacuumed and mopped the house, and got groceries.

    When my teenage son told me he thinks he shouldn’t get to school on time because it’s not important and wants to join the military. I’m sure they will be real flexible with the rules!

  2. OMG #4…. you totally made my day. I think I might implement this in our house. It will give them an outlet for the potty words, and frankly I’ll laugh every time. You’re THE BEST!

  3. 1. I believe crows will be fighting us for top of the food chain one day… Every time I walk past one, I’m convinced it is seconds from taking me out
    2. I like the old Mary Poppins but the new one seems too sassy. Can’t bring myself to spend money to watch it. I’ll wait…
    3. Same! And I’m a high school math teacher….. Mental calculations are not my jam
    8. Same in my house and I have girls. They all think the words ‘Leave Mum alone’ are an invitation to seek attention in my house. I never get peace.

  4. I love the Mary Poppins books and I’ve seen both films but they are a bit too Disney for me and the geography of films set in London drives me completely bananas. It’s really hard to suspend disbelief and I’m not sure there were that matter gas lights in London in the late 1920’s. See I’m terrible to watch films with!

    1. Ha, if you really want movies ruined for you, watch them with Troy! He used to work on TV and film for over 10 years.

      I’ll tell you something which once you see it you can never unsee it. The next time you’re watching something and they are filming inside a parking garage, I guarantee the pavement will be wet. It helps the director of photography set a consistent look with the lights that the grips set up (Troy used to be a grip). But in reality, the inside of a parking garage wouldn’t be wet so it means some poor PA (production assistant which Troy started as) had to hose it down before they started filming.

  5. We did the potty talk “only at the potty” with my son too. I’m SOOO glad we caught some of it on video. ????????????????

  6. Sarah,
    You TOTALLY deserve a new kitchen more than anyone I know (including myself!). Have you seen this from IKEA to submit your home to a makeover?
    I WANT YOU TO WIN! If there is any other “vote for me to get a makeover” you KNOW we have your back. YES there are other people who might deserve something but hell if all that you do for your readers and your husband/kids and your Dad (and Mom for so many years) and your church counts for anything at all -GO FOR IT!

    Also, I confess that I am calm, rationale and repeating my positive messages to my son for about 5 minutes and then I totally snap and lose it. Luckily neither of us stay mad too long but DAMN if I wish I could not blow my cool with the 10 year old.

    1. Sarah (great name!) you’re so sweet to think of me! I checked out the link and it seems like it is only east coast cities that are eligible. I also live too far from our IKEA to meet the requirements. What a bummer but amazing for the people who actually win the contest.

      Thanks again so much for thinking of me and sharing this amazing resource.

      I’m also convinced that 9 and 10-year-olds are exceptionally frustrating and it is THEIR fault we can’t keep our cool.

  7. The new Poppins was SO BAD! I’ve decided all cast and crew knew it was a stinker which is why they promoted it so heavily. SO BAD! 

  8. My hubby never says “what is that table for” or any other form of said sentence. It is: “What for table is that?”

    What for?!? 

    WHAT FOR?!?

    Constantly. Drives me absolutely insane some days. 

  9. We got the state testing results from last year back for my Jack yesterday. The kid got a perfect score on the English test. I’m equal parts proud, terrified, and feeling vindicated for ignoring the holier than thou busybodies that chastised me for not breastfeeding my kids. You know, because the kids would never reach their full potential. (I’m not anti-breastfeeding, it just wasn’t right for us!)

    1. Woot yay for your Jack!!! Good lord to the people who shamed you for not breastfeeding. My friend turned me onto the term “lacto-vists” for those kind of people.

      When we got Jack’s scores earlier this fall, his language arts and math skills were amazing. But he scored at “needs improvement” for listening. I told him it was scientific proof he never listens to me. I’m sure he wasn’t paying attention when I said it.