Confessions – March
With the dawning of spring, it is time to relieve ourselves of silly winter secrets and burdens. Friends, it is time for confessions!
- Growing up, I always had those little restaurant packets of saltines in the car with me. Why? I thought that if I had to pee while we were on a road trip, if you ate enough crackers it would “absorb” the pee. Inside your body. No one could figure out why I would squirrel away the crackers and shove them in my mouth during the two hour drive to my grandparent’s. As someone with a tiny bladder, the idea seemed simple enough. And then I learned about how our insides worked, and my cracker assumptions crumbled.
- I know I am harder on Jack than I necessarily need to be. Jack has all of the qualities that I dislike about myself. I see him going down the same path that I took for years, and it’s not a fun path. Bossiness, anger, alienating those around you by trying to constantly prove you’re right, etc. I know there is a lot to be said for allowing people to make mistakes, because it is the mistakes we learn from most. But the mom in me and the person who spent years feeling alone wants to protect him from that. Jack and I are so very similar that it is like watching myself walking around with a little dude’s haircut.
- I think if men had periods instead of women, menstruation products and brownies would be completely free. Once a month a gratis package would show up on your doorstep stuffed full of supplies, snacks, and tea. And of course you would get at least one day off of work each month to relax.
- I’m so thankful that I am a mom. I wouldn’t wish my kids away for anything. And I’m lucky to be able to watch my nephew five days a week before and after school. But there are some days…where I swear if I hear “Mom”, “Aunt Sarah”, or “Mama” one more time, I will scream. Loudly. Just shut up. Please. Just three minutes of quiet is all I need some times.
- I have a very intense, very non-sexual crush on the Pope. I’m not Catholic, but I swear this man is just the best. If there were Pope trading cards, I would exchange all others for a “Francis”. This man is able to speak his mind in a way that isn’t rude, condescending, demeaning, hurtful, insulting, or cruel. He stands up for social justice, has a true heart for the people most in need, and all around is just awesome. Jesus taught Christians to take care of those who can’t help themselves. He was friends with the lowliest of people, and healed those whom society would assume deserved it the least. Any time I hear Francis speak or read something he wrote about helping those in our world, I find myself nodding my head saying “yep, uh huh, yep, you’re so right, YES”. This man is the real freaking deal and he’s rad. I would totally cover my Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper with a “Francis Rocks” sticker.
- I have a very intense, very sexual crush on Justin Trudeau. Canadians, I get why you use the word “Mountie” so much. Yep. That man is sex on a plate.
- We have a soda stream at home, and all of us are big fans of plain sparkling water. Jack and Troy, for whatever reason have the hardest time opening any of the bottles I have closed. It almost makes me feel like the Hulk or something to watch them strain and groan trying to unscrew the cap. And then I giggle inside when they hand it to me to open, and a quick twist and I have it free. I am the strongest beast in this house.
Alright friends, it is your turn to confess silliness. I’ll sit here and eat some crackers while you type….