Confessions – November
Oh confessions. One of my favorite posts to write each month.
I keep a running tally of silly things on my phone, and when I have enough, I write the post. Sometimes, I jot something down quickly, and then when I sit down to write, I have absolutely no idea what in the hell I meant. Frustrating.
So this is how this works. I share stupid silly things, then you share your own. We laugh, we feel lighter because of our giggling, and then we go about our day with some spring in our step.
- Have you ever seen those “we buy houses” signs that are hand written on yellow plastic signage? I always wonder who looks at those, thinks “you know, I like how they used a magic marker. They totally seem legit. I think I’ll give them a call”.
- Our fridge has water and ice on the door, but is so far from our sink that we never even bothered to hook it up. We keep a glass milk jug in the fridge for cold water, and just rarely use ice. But we use the little tray under the ice and water levers…as a pen and pencil tray. Troy can never find writing utensils, so I just started storing them there instead of in the desk.
- I have the hardest time pulling the trigger when it comes to choosing a time for microwaving something. 10 seconds seems too short, but 15 too long, so I always end up with random times like “13 seconds”. I cannot figure out what my problem is, but I have done it for years.
- My nephew loves Dirty Jobs, and is a giant fan of Mike Rowe. I was going to get my nephew a signed photo of Mike for Christmas, but I found out via his website that he “charges” a fee of something like $35 for a signed photo. All the proceeds go to an animal charity, so I totally respect that. But, I am not spending $35 for a photo for a six-year-old. So…I’m printing a photo off of the internet, and signing it myself. I told my sis I was doing this, and once she stopped laughing, she gave me the go ahead.
- I know chicken thighs have more flavor than boneless, skinless chicken breasts, but I just can’t get over the texture of them when they are raw and the fat is still attached. I had YEARS where I couldn’t touch raw meat of any kind. I can remember, even in college the idea of touching raw hamburger had me in a panic. I’ve 99% gotten over that, but a package of chicken thighs almost sent me over the edge last month.
- Parents of new babies and kids under one. You need to listen to my words. Do not EVER buy those crappy CDs of kids singing popular songs. In fact, do not let them listen to any kid music. Make them listen to actual music, sung by the original artist. You will end up hating those kid bop singers with a passion. Growing up, our roadtrip music was James Taylor, CSNY, Creedence, and Jim Croce. Jack loves Beastie Boys, anything he can dance to, Fitz and the Tantrums, and Saint Motel. I would likely kick my car speakers out if I had to listen to any teen crap.
- Ok, so any time I refill our handsoap container, I inevitably get soap on my hands. I’m not sure if it is just muscle memory, or if I think soap is dirty, but when I go to wash the soap off of my hands, I always first apply more soap from the dispenser. What in the world?
- Troy and I have been married for over 12 years, which means for at least 11 years, I have been pulling his grey clothes out of the dark laundry and putting it in the lights. I spent the first year of our marriage reminding him that light grey clothes can be washed with whites, and since we always have too many darks to wash, put your dang light grey clothing with the white laundry. I eventually just gave up, so even today, I am constantly pulling his stupid light grey socks, t shirts, and underwear out of the dark laundry. I wonder if he ever notices, but I think I know the answer to that. Big fat “hell no”.
Ok, your turn! What silliness do you need to get off your chest?
Why does my husband respond with “who?” when i ask things like: “Do you know where the phone is?” Who? The phone is not a person. Or my personal favorite: “What would you like for supper?” “Who?” AUGHHHHH
i don’t have to worry about my husband not sorting the laundry because he doesn’t ever do the laundry.
I love the automated calls that make is seem like someone is actually there to talk to you. you answer and they state Oh Hello. then pause (as if you’re saying something) then speak again and wait. sometimes, i hang on the phone for a few minutes to see what is said.
the ‘we buy ugly houses’ commercials always make me laugh. first of all, none of the houses they show would be considered ‘ugly’. second of all, the people hugging their belongings as the voiceover is saying “then i found ugly houses”. give me a break.
Since I met my husband and he showed me his laundry skills, I NEVER separate whites from darks. I now separate colds, delicates (all my work clothes that are supposed to be dry cleaned, don’t do that either), hots, and towels/sheets. So much easier!
I think I own 3 dry clean only items…and have never dry cleaned them. I totally wash them.
I do my parent’s laundry with ours, and some times some of their items need to be on hot or um, “heavy duty” wash (like my dad’s work out clothes. Gross), so the cold/hot wouldn’t work as well in our case.
I hate all the open letters on the internet. It’s a glorified version of thinking of a response too late, what the French call l’esprit de l’escalier. Sometimes it’s worth considering what you should have done differently, but for most people I just say no, it’s too late for you. Think faster next time.
Pictures of kids eating grosses me out. No one wants to see other people’s kids eating, or probably any human eating, but kids are especially gross and no one else thinks it’s cute that you’re child is covered in mashed bananas. I have to remember this when I’m tempted to share pictures of my own children covered in mashed bananas, because darn it, I think they are adorable. My heart belies what I know to be true.
I laughed at #1. My husband and I just talked about that on Friday when we were returning home from shopping. There is one particular corner coming off of a ramp where there are always home-made signs of some sort: buy your house, paint your house, etc.
I know I look ridiculous when I run out onto our patio yelling in my robe in the morning to chase away the squirrels that are sitting (and POOPING) on our grill and our swinging chair. Our neighbor hand feeds the squirrels so they are very tame and I can’t keep them off our stuff. It really stinks during growing season because they dig up my plants trying to bury the food the neighbor gives them. They also chewed their way into our house last year (hours spent chasing this f’ing squirrel around the house). I went from liking squirrels to calling them “tree-rats” and chasing after them when they are on our patio.
Because we have just moved to a house with decent wood floors, we have not set up the adult sized table as a table yet, because we need chairs with those little footies to keep legs from messing up the floor. We have a toddler height table and chairs where the kid can paint or play or eat while I’m cooking, and K and I just sit on the floor and we all eat around the kid’s table. It’s been 6 weeks since moving.
I cannot handle my family leaving water cups around the sink. Don’t want to wash a new water cup, but the ones around the sink make my kitchen look messy (large family).
I’m hoping someone will invent a nice looking residential water fountain soon.
ahh a residential water fountain. My kitchen faucet has become a water fountain. We have is a pull down (like this https://www.lowes.com/pd/Delta-Ashton-Stainless-1-Handle-Pull-Down-Kitchen-Faucet/3196175 ) and kid just pulls it out and drinks straight from the spigot. Be careful what you wish for.
LOL!! My 17yo does that all.the.time!
I secretly plot the demise of my loving husband every time he dries his hands on the kitchen towel then wads the towel and stuffs it into the oven handle. Seriously can’t handle it.
Also, my ex could only set the microwave in increments of 7. No. Clue.