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Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

A woman with a finger up to her mouth saying "shhhhh"

CONFESSION 1

My children can be perfect angels all day, but the second I have to pee, all hell breaks loose. Last week I was going to the bathroom and heard Bennett scream at the top of his lungs like he was being murdered by a pack of renegade drunk badgers.

In my rush to stop and run out to see what had happened, and I peed ALL over my pants. You can imagine how livid I was when I got out there and Bennett had merely tripped, and NOT been skinned alive by murder hornets.

CONFESSION 2

A reader from Canada and I were messaging on Instagram about gardening and were talking about the temperatures in the zones we live in. I was shocked it was still so cold there and then she told me it was celsius and not “freedom temps”.

I laughed so hard and now I want to change all the “F” notations in my recipes to 350 degrees “Freedom Temps”.

CONFESSION 3

I had to google the spelling of celsius for the confession above because spellcheck kept trying to default my attempt at spelling it to “delicious”. ‘Merica.

CONFESSION 4

I am SO sick of how much dog poop has appeared on my walking route since people have been working from home. I’m thrilled how many people are working out in the fresh air, and I know the dogs are happy too.

But clean up after your dang pets!

CONFESSION 5

I really REALLY miss going to church because of the shutdown. The kids or Troy had been sick non-stop for five Sundays BEFORE the shutdown, so it feels like I haven’t been to church since the end of January.

But…I don’t miss making communion bread (it’s this recipe) twice a month like I used to. I’m happy to do it and have been the “host” baker for eight years now, but I’m glad for the break.

CONFESSION 6

After talking about our recent raccoon issues with our chicken coop, I kept referring to them as “trash pandas”. An Aussie reader sent me a message asking what in the world a trash panda was. 

It made me realize how much of the stuff I talk about may just not translate out of the states. My Aussie friend Cassie, who blogs over at Cook It Real Good, and I constantly help each other with US/Aussie translations for our audiences. We have kept each other from saying some hilariously awkward things.

 

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

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33 comments on “Confessions”

  1. My confession is to complain about all the ‘do gooders’  that talk about all the ‘good’ they do on social media. Yes am a complainer , but I can’t handle people that ‘toot their own horn’ about all the good they do. Just do it and be quiet.  I also can’t stand the saying “ you got this” – um, what if I don’t or don’t want to?  PS- I am secretly still refolding the towels the way I like them after my husband folds them. I am almost over reloading the dishwasher after my husband loads it, mostly because he crams so much stuff in one load he would hear the glass clinking. Stay positive people….”you got this” 

    • I told Troy I had given up on him ever having the mental capacity to load the dishwasher the correct way.

      • At this point I am just happy there aren’t dirty dishes through out the house because that use to be a thing when we had teenagers!

  2. 1. My significant other has been such a d-bag lately that I sent myself flowers. 
    2. Going back to work full 8hr days makes me sad and scared. 
    3.  I trashed up my cubicle surroundings to keep people the fword outta my space. #firehazzard 
    4.  I got sunburned twice already because I was too lazy to go inside and it seemed like there were worse things going on to worry about. Dumb. Dumb.  Dumb. 

  3. 1. I love virtual church. The pandemic isolation has fed my introverted soul in ways I didn’t even know it needed. 
    2. My hands were not meant for texting, I have to retype things all the time because I always, always, manage to hit N or return instead of space. 

  4. I think our family has done pretty well during our confinement, but I have really had enough of these people. My Dad, who resides on the other end of the state, wants to visit when we get the all clear. I have decided I will visit him instead, so I can get a change of scenery. I will break the news to everyone involved sometime soon.

  5. We have church on Zoom. Folks asked our pastor why she didn’t just record her sermons so we could watch any time. She said she wanted to see us. It’s a small church, about 80 folks for service, now, with Zoom we have 45 ish participants, some with more than one folk online. We have the pianist play the hymns. I love it cause I can belt them out and, thanks to the mute button, only I can hear. There have been a few glitches, but mostly, it’s real. Last Sunday, our special music came from folks in Colorado (we’re in North California). The litergist was reading the scripture, but he was on mute! As soon as Pastor Ginger figured that out, she had to ask him to start again. After services, the mute buttons come off and folks can visit.

    • Oh no to the mute situation! But hopefully, it was worth the re-do.

      I’m on our Church’s council and that is only 13 people meeting up via Zoom. It’s a bit of a hilarious nightmare. I couldn’t imagine 45.

  6. Our minor league baseball team is the Trash Pandas ????

  7. My husband tore his ACL 3 years ago. My son was 6 and the baby was a little over 1. I was everything to everyone because he couldn’t lift or carry the baby so it was a duck your head and push through time in my life. One day, I was going potty and I wondered what would I do if something happened because I knew he wouldn’t be able to act fast enough. Luckily, it didn’t happen while I was the one using the bathroom.

    My son’s fish tank was on our dining room table with the power cord stretched to the outlet. Viv got back there and I don’t know if she crawled or walked into the cord when she was trying to get through. She pulled the tank down and cracked it spilling fish, water, and rocks everywhere. Baby crying, son was horrified shrieking about his fish, and I started bawling because I felt heartbroken for him. Cue husband limping furiously from our room from the bathroom, trying to help. I lifted the unhurt baby up and handed her to him, directed son to get all the towels he could, and scooped up the still alive at the time fish. I was trying to clean while my husband stood holding the baby, all his weight on one leg, unfinished from the bathroom, and he couldn’t move. I called my mom to help and just broke down crying laughing at the thought of how he looked rushing to help while I was trying to ask her to come over. Fish didn’t survive and I broke the garbage disposal when I accidentally got some rocks down there while cleaning them. It was a very special day.

  8. I wish people would use their car blinkers correctly. If you’re making a right or left turn please turn on your blinker before your turn and not as you’re making the turn. Other drivers need to be aware of your actions. 
    Also, if you’re going to ride my ass with your car but then refuse to pass what is the point? I’m very confused by that.  Either back off or pass me. 

  9. In Louisiana we have raccoons, but also possums and armadillos getting into the trash. At one point we had skunks too, so trash pandas could be converted to rubbish ruffians, or waste varmints as a more inclusive term of dis-endearment.
    I wish cleaning out the flower beds was a one and done thing. I love a nice yard, but right now it looks like the rubbish ruffians have taken over the yard and squatters are living in the house. I don’t feel that way about the vegetable garden, probably because it is smaller and I get to eat out of it.
    I miss church, but when we did have outside services, I chose not to go because I would have trouble keeping my social distance from children I teach. In the grocery store I keep seeing my babies and this staying away from them when I’m a hugger is harder than I ever thought.
    Never in my wildest dream or in any dystopian novel (and I’ve read lots of them) did I ever see keeping my distance from my friends as a possibility. In every single novel people who survive do so by working together,and protecting each other.

  10. The window over our sink looks out to our front yard, and the number of dog walkers I see who allow their dumb dogs to pee on our mailbox enrages me. That’s not public property! I guess they figure it’s between the sidewalk and the street, so it’s fair game–but I have to walk up to that mailbox, you gross people.

    I think I’ve forgotten how to drive. My husband has been doing the grocery shopping since early April, and the farthest I’ve gone from the house has been maybe a 2 mile roundtrip walk. I keep having dreams where I’m driving, or my 7 year old is driving, and it’s going about as well as you’d expect.