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If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

Confession 1

I live with four males, which means 80% of my time is spent reminding people what I just said six minutes ago.

Confession 2

I live with four males, which means the other 20% of my time is spent finding their “lost” things that are right in front of them.

Confession 3

I don’t understand the whole “birthday week” for adults. It’s birthDAY. Stop it.

Confession 4

I live with four males, which means I take undue pleasure in coming up behind them and putting my ice-cold lady hands on their necks.

Confession 5

I think the world would be a better place if everyone who was physically able was required to spend 3 months (each) working in:

  • Retail/fast food/some minimum wage job that requires you to interact with the public
  • A non-profit
  • A corporate job
  • The military (but I realize of course this wouldn’t be safe for anyone)

Confession 6

This goes against every feminist thread in my body, but I don’t know how to BBQ. I also don’t want to learn. Grilling is the ONE thing Troy will consistently do in the kitchen, and it feels like a cooking vacation for me. If I learn to grill then I have to cook everything.

Confession 7

It appears that 15% of marriage is just hiding candy from each other.

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

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48 comments on “Confessions”

  1. I raised two boys so was always outnumbered 3 to 1. But now there is payback since they are both married and their wives side with me. He, he, he. Something to look forward to.

  2. My husband recently got a puppy. I am not a dog person, and I did not want a puppy. We have two cats two pre-teen boys in premier soccer (3 days a week) (6 practices plus 2 games a week) and hubby travels for work. I don’t think it was fair of him to put all that responsibility on the boys and I, as none of us wanted a puppy or even a grown ass dog to take care of. Hubby said he wanted a companion, well he got one but he’s losing his wife’s interest and the boys are calling him selfish behind his back.

  3. I’ll admit we SORT of do the birthWEEK thing in my house for my husband and me but it’s really kidding and it’s more because we’re sort of half-assed about the bd. in the first place. So it’s more like it’s just spread out across the week. And it’s like, “Oh I get the remote, it’s my birthWEEK,” not, “I get a $300 steak dinner” or something.
    I would add to the “must do” list, teach their kids how to make a damn phone call. Or go to the door to pick up a friend or date. How hard is it to say, “Hi I’m ____, is __ home?” or whatever? I realize landlines are dinosaurs but they do exist and eventually they’re going to have to pick up a date and impress the father. Instead, I pick up the phone and say, “Hello” and the kid says, “Hello?” No!

  4. 1. I believe there should be a blocked off time at target where no children or people over 65 are allowed.  Preferably from 11:30 am to 1:30 pm.  Any week day.  I need to get sh!t done in my allotted lunch hour.  Karen get your screaming Tommy out of the aisle I need to get down. His safety is not my priority, getting TP and dish soap in 17 min or less is.

    Whew.  I feel better

  5. 1. I hate open house at school. Full on hate it. In all honesty as long as my kids are learning I don’t care what they’re doing. No I don’t want to sit through an entire presentation on 7th grade. Guess what “linda”, I’m 40 I already went to 7th grade. No I don’t want to see every piece of paper my kid has ever put a damn pencil on “pam”. They are your problem for 6hrs a day. If they are little a-holes call me. Otherwise, keep your damn crafts and let me not be at school in the evening.

    2. I live with 4 males 10% of everyday is cleaning my bathroom because it ALWAYS SMELLS LIKE PEE.

    3. I hide the good cookies inside an old box of fiber one. No one looks there.

    4. I’m CLEARLY out of emotional support cookies.

    • I live with 4.5 boys (the baby only counts as half) and my significant other makes all the males, including himself, sit down to pee so we avoid all the gross pee splashes! I freakin love it! He’s cleaner than I am! ????????

      I have a secret chocolate stash in my closet for me only. Some of my children have caught on but it’s up high so they can’t reach. 

      I hate when ladies say “hubby” or “hubs” or any variance of. 

      Misspelling the word “angel” with “angle” makes me cringe a little as well.  What acute angle baby…. I could go on and on with the misspellings. “Apart” and “a part” 

      • Dear Erica, we must be long lost sisters! My husband also used to sit however somewhere along the nearly 30 year road we’ve shared he seems to have given it up for experience.

        Hubby or hubs and their variations along with all the misspellings make me crazy as well.

      • Expedience was changed to experience by spell checking that believes it knows what I wish to say. ☺️

    • I too hate open house! I still have PTSD from our kinder experience and assume any interaction = hearing that my child is a terrorist.

      The pee thing drives me crazy. I swear that boy pee smells 400% worse than girl pee. I will remove the toilet seat from time to time and soak it in the bathtub with some bleach (and I know how bad bleach is, but…boy pee). I also clean under the rim with a pumice stone a few times a year. This more than anything helps a ton. And finally, I use my homemade cleaner that is loaded with peppermint essential oil.

  6. Yield means yield to oncoming traffic people, it does not mean stop dead and text your bff!! Arghhh!
    Thank God Sarah has great recipes or my peeps would starve!
    “Put on your clothes for school” does not mean show up at breakfast naked! Mmmkay, enuf said!
    Grocers, please stock your shelves so that those of us with limited windows of opportunity way before the crack of noon will not have to shop multiple stores!!

  7. I would add to number 5, a teacher/substitute teacher but I might be biased there… 

  8. Oh my gosh, the hiding candy one made me snarf. Except I think I’m the only one that does that… In my house, anything my husband can’t find is my fault because I “put something on top/in front of it” (can you feel how hard I am rolling my eyes?). He also tries to pull “birthmonth” crap, which I don’t subscribe to. Mostly because I forget about it when it’s my birthmonth, but whatever.

  9. Love these! I sometimes get all ‘girlie’ and ask my husband to do the things I don’t want to do, but he thinks I can’t do. Does that make me manipulative?

  10. OMG #7, yes!!!