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Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

Confession 1

I want to find the child who got Jack interested in Pokemon again and I want them grounded for life. He’s been totally off Pokemon since third grade, and then all of a sudden, he started to care again. 

And now it is back to me having to listen to all the stats for Squirtle, blerck chirip, farky mcsnippy, and who the eff cares what their names are. GROUNDED FOR LIFE.

Confession 2

Have you ever heard the term “nice cream” used as a cutesy name for vegan ice cream? I seriously do not understand the name. The ICE part of the term “ice cream” is not the part that someone who doesn’t consume dairy would have an issue with. It’s THE CREAM. 🙂

And yes, the alliteration of “nice” and “cream” makes it sound pleasant. I get that. But have we ever stopped to actually think about the term that seems to have taken Pinterest by storm?

I’m not knocking vegan ice cream by any means. I ate a bunch of it when I was dairy-free while nursing my oldest, AND I have an incredible homemade version (related: Chocolate Vegan Ice Cream). But c’mon. Let’s get call things by names that make sense.

Confession 3

Hearing any song by the band Sublime on the radio offends me. Their music is CRAP.

Confession 4

Bennett has been into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lately, and something from the theme song has me stumped. You know the “turtles in a half-shell” part of the song?

WHAT TURTLES ARE IN FULL SHELLS???? These are the things that keep me awake at night. I can name one of the wrinkles on my forehead “random things to worry about”.

Confession 5

I’ve found that I sleep better with some noise, and lately, that means listening to a podcast. I listen to it with one earbud in and it’s quiet enough to where I can hear the kids but also helps dull the sound of Troy snoring.

I’m using the generic Apple earbuds with the cord and they’re a giant PITA. I wish I could get just one air pod. I think Apple could market it as either an “iSnore” or “Snorepod”.

And yes, I actually do have some great Bluetooth earbuds, but they still have a cord and I’m worried the batteries will die and I can’t use them for my walks in the morning.

Confession 6

Nothing annoys me more than being in a public bathroom where the main door pulls IN and they only have hand dryers instead of paper towels. Do you know how absolutely disgusting those door handles are? How are bathrooms able to be approved through zoning if they don’t open OUT? At least give me that little kickstand thingy I can use to open the door with my toe.

Confession 7

There is a very nice young cashier at a place where we shop at frequently. She is easily 15 years younger than me but still calls me “hon”. I mean, don’t call me ma’am, but “hon” or “honey”? No!

 

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

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28 comments on “Confessions”

  1. Co workers who talk about HOW sick they feel from all the weekend drinking on Monday’s. By Wednesday they are complaining they have NO money for anything. By Friday planning on where & what they are drinking. What a crappy cycle & grow up already is my constant thought during the week. 

    Patients (I’m in healthcare) complaining that they keep getting put on more meds, can’t lose weight, feel horrible…. then I see them at the grocery store with 6 huge things of soda, chips, donuts. No veggies, fruit or in actual reality – NO real food.  Here’s your sign!

    When you are talking on the phone with a patient and they don’t like what you are saying so they don’t say anything like they are giving you time to come up with another answer. Ummmm I just explained federal law to you so no…. your silence will NOT buy you an exception to federal laws!

    People in drive thrus not having their money ready. What did you think would happen when you got to the final window?!? You know the drill, get your act together!

    People with unusual spelling of names NOT telling me. Obviously you have to tell people your whole life how to spell DeWayne you just pronounced Duane so please enlighten me immediately instead of watching 2 of us try to find you in the system. Beeanca, Khrystle, Candyance. I could go on and on……

    • Oh, I’m with you on that one! When we were broke as a joke, we used to say “well, at least we don’t drink” because that ish is EXPENSIVE!

  2. Every time I get called ma’am I am overcome with rage ???? but hun I wouldn’t handle either. Reminds me of a manager I used to have that called me “darl” all the time. Soooo annoying ???? 

  3. Yes, the dreaded bathroom door handle. When there is only a hand dryer in the bathroom you can use a couple seat covers or some toilet paper to get out the door or shut the faucet off.

    • That is what I usually do. But if I don’t see that the handle pulls in until after I wash my hands, then I am stuck going back into a stall to get a seat cover. I always wonder if I should rewash my hands in case someone comes in and sees me leaving a stall. 🙂

  4. Don’t use the hand dryers. Public bathroom toilets don’t have lids to close before flushing so microscopic poop particles get sprayed into the air when flushing. The hand dryers then use the poop particle air to dry your hands

    • After being a violently ill pregnant person who puked literally in every kind of bathroom there is, public toilets and their flushing abilities no longer phase me. Lol

  5. Confession A: Can we storm the tower of the evil MUTCD who hasn’t yet decided if the name of streets on the green signs should be all CAPS BLVD or Proper Lettering Avenue. I pretty much have to drive with my eyes shut so my obscure OCD doesn’t put me in the nut house.

    Confession B: Children books that don’t rhyme also trigger obscure OCD. The only books that shouldn’t rhyme perfectly are ones written by young children.

    Confession C.1: Keeping a clean toilet with a young boy in the house is nearly impossible. How does one get that much pee on the outside back part? I mean, is it only my kid that can pee paint masterpieces by the leg bolts? Leads me to Confession C.2: Keeping windows clean is also not a thing. The kids hear the window cleaner sprayed from all the corners of the earth and come running with magically greasy hands. Every. Time.

    • Haha, I’ll storm that tower with you!!!

      And yes, good luck with the toilets. Little boys are vile bathroom users. Sometimes when I have just cleaned up everything, I make them pee outside for a few hours to keep the bathroom looking nice.

  6. Try visiting Newfoundland if you want to be weirded out by ‘young people’ calling you things like hon.    Newfoundlanders use the term “my love” a lot.  And it is SO weird to be called “my love” by a stranger who is younger than my children!  We go annually, and it throws me off at the beginning of EVERY visit.

    The bathroom doors have to open in or people in the hall would be getting smacked by those barging out of the bathroom!  But I get what you are saying.   Maybe try making a mental note as you enter and grab some extra TP for using the handle?   Mind you, then you are stuck with a wad of tp in your pocket afterwards….

    You can wear a single AirPod.  I do it all the time.  You don’t HAVE to use both at once to make them work.  I don’t know about generic ones though.  But the one you are not using will remain in the case, charged, while you kill the charge on the one you are using.  Left pod for sleeping, right pod for daily use?  They charge pretty quick, too.

    You’re right that ‘nice cream’ makes no sense. Maybe they think it is ‘nice’ because no animals are involved?    
    I hate when people add “skinny” to a recipe title.  “Skinny Chicken Alfredo” or whatever.   Just seeing that turns me off what may be a fantastic recipe.  (and I am currently losing weight, so it isn’t even like the lower fat aspect doesn’t matter to me.)

    I think you should be glad Jack is interested in something as (relatively) inexpensive as Pokemon.  He could be rattling on about a really EXPENSIVE interest!!!!  And I could be wrong, but doesn’t Pokemon involve reading, and calculating and stuff like that?  So he is using his brain.  That is a good thing.   There will likely come a time when he doesn’t tell you ANYTHING and you will miss him carrying on about Pokemon.  Hang in there.

    • Huh, I wonder what it is about Newfoundland!

      Half the bathrooms open out and I have never seen anyone hit with them. Not to mention someone pushing it open to get IN to the bathroom could just as easily hit someone who is already in the bathroom. And yes, I do use toilet paper or a seat liner to open the door. I am a somewhat functioning adult in that regard. 🙂

      I can wear a single Air Pod but I don’t own Air Pods because they’re too $$. But I think just having one would be lovely.

      “Skinny” recipes make me stabby!

      Pokemon is exceptionally expensive. We have never purchased anything for him, but his grandparents and aunt spent a small fortune on things (their choice of course) when he was interested in it the first time. Jack gets obsessively focused on things for a month or so at a time and will not stop talking about it until you want to jump into a pile of rocks. And then just when you think you can’t listen a single second longer, he moves onto a new obsession and the cycle starts all over again.

      • Weird.  I have never, ever seen a bathroom open out!  And I guess because we expect them to open in as we are leaving we are more careful?   Places actually HAVE those seat liner things?  I have heard of them, but never seen any…..  And I KNOW you are a fully functioning adult!  But sometimes we need the obvious pointed out because our annoyance makes us have tunnel vision.  🙂 
        Maybe ask a spendy relative to give you AirPods for your birthday?  That’s how I got mine   😉 
        I thought Pokemon was just cards.  I had no idea it was expensive!   I’d like to tell you he will grow out of it, but my 26 year old STILL does that with her favourite thing.  Except she never shifts topic. (well, since having a baby, it has slowed considerably, now that I think of it, and we ENJOY hearing all about the baby.  But it will return full-force, I am sure of that because her favourite thing is Disney and she will be going back to work at some point (The Disney Store) and they are planning a trip to Disneyworld in the fall!)
        Also, I read the other comments and love the one about Jack checking out video game books.  Man, he is a smart, creative, resourceful kid!!!!!!

      • Perhaps your codes require doors to swing in? I was at Target yesterday and their doors push out, whereas our grocery store the main bathroom door pulls in.

        Seat covers are very much a regional thing. I have seen them all over the west coast but when I visit my friend in Denver, they are nowhere to be seen. When I traveled to Tennessee for work, I had a hard time finding them (and ANY sort of recycling bin) at the airport or hotel.

  7. Don’t even get me started on “pleather” or “vegan leather”!!

  8. Is your cashier perhaps from the South or have Southern ties? We call everyone hon, honey, and sweetie here (and if you’re more familiar with the person, sugar). I’m honestly a little offended when I dont get called hon while out.
    We don’t all speak with the drawl either. I got asked all the time where I was from in my own hometown! A college suitemate thought I was British (I still don’t get that one). And the New York Times quiz that tries to pinpoint where you are from based on terms you use for certain things and how you say them didn’t even put me in my home state.

    • Nope, she sure isn’t! It’s just very very random.

      That’s so funny about the NY Times quiz because it nailed me within 35 miles of where I was born! But when we lived in LA, people assumed I was Canadian.

      • I must just be a weirdo because everyone else I know that took it said it got very close to where they are from. One woman I know said all three were correct, the first one was where she was born and lived til her teens, the second place was where they moved after, and the third was where she spent summers with her mom’s family. I didn’t even get states I’ve been too lol.

        I can see the Canadian thing for people who live pretty far north. There are definitely some similarities as far as I can tell.

      • How funny! I guess you’re a very very special speaker. 🙂

  9. I realllly hate that I know this, but I believe the lyric is “heroes in a half-shell”. So turtles, compared to, say, a clam or similar bivalve, would be considered to have a “half shell’ rather than a whole shell, all the way around.

    And now I’m going to read some Shakespeare or something to shake that out of my brain. Ugh.

    Same on the restroom doors. I usually am wearing a long shirt or something, so I use that to protect my hand.

    • Oh, you’re right, it is “heroes”. But still…I don’t think 5-10 year old kids are really thinking “does this hero have a full or half shell”.

  10. I completely agree with you about Pokemon! My husband and I went out of town last weekend (a long awaited and needed 3 days away). Our 5 kids stayed with an amazing friend of ours. While I am more than grateful that she was willing to keep them, but when my boys (7 & 5) got home they can’t stop talking about Pokemon! (Ahh!) I know nothing about this stuff, but now they’re drawing them, reading about them, pretend playing them, and TALKING about them CONSTANTLY! They even check out Pokemon books from the library at school! Seriously…what happened to the dinosaurs and construction equipment that they were obsessed with last week???

    • So glad you got that time to yourself, and SO sorry it involved Pokemon when you returned!

      We never let Jack play video games for the longest time, so he would check out books on how to play video games from the library. And then he would pretend to play them in his room.