I posted some confessions last month, and you knuckleheads seemed to enjoy them. I thought perhaps I might do some more. Would yah like that?
Also, I LOVE reading yours, so make sure you add your own in the comments!
1) I rarely remember my mom raising her voice at us growing up. She taught kindergarten – third grade for over 20 years, so really, I think she was a bit of cheater. She went to school to learn how to deal with kids. I don’t have that education, and it shows.
Last week, I bribed Jack with a chocolate covered raisin to just “omg, shut up and sit still for ONE MINUTE. JUST ONE MINUTE”.
He couldn’t do it.
2) Until I was 25, I thought the ZZ Top song “Sharp Dressed Man” was “Shy Best Man”. Sing those words the next time you hear this song. You’ll get it.
3) I love clean and healthy food. Except, when I’m at Costco. At Costco, I’ll eat the shit out of some GMO, HFCS, red dye 10 samples. Gogurt? Don’t mind if I do. Philly cheesesteak? Yes please! A tiny cup of artificially flavored sparkling sugar water? :glug glug:
4) Most of the time, I run the dishwasher the night before Troy has a day off. That way, when he gets home, he’ll unload it. Unloading the dishwasher is my least favorite household chore EVER.
5) The other day, Troy and I were in the yard because I was getting ready to mow. He offered to do it, but I said I’d be happy to. It’s the old school push mower and it’s quite the workout. He said he could do it faster than me. I said “is that because my brain and hands are tiny and my period attracts bears”? He walked away to me yelling “my period attracts bears” again, and I know my weird neighbor heard me. I have yet to meet the dude’s eye since then.
6) I blog about things that I don’t always tell Troy. Then I get annoyed with him that he doesn’t know about it, because dude, read my blog. I never see you, and I hate talking on the phone; subscribe to my feed, and then you’ll know the haps, m’kay?
7) I do my absolute best to be ready for zombie attacks and the grid going down. However, we had a lot of wind last night, and the power went off. It was around 8 pm, and I was finally getting a chance to cook myself dinner after a late night at work, working out, and cleaning out the chicken coop.
A legit prepper would have been set. I on the other hand, almost cried because I was cooking some lumpia and I just wanted to freaking eat already. I ended the night on the couch reading (it stays light enough to read until about 9:15 pm ish during the summer in Seattle) a book and eating chips and salsa.
Care to share some confessions of your own? I promise getting things off of your chest is freeing!
Until I read #2 (just now,) I thought the same thing. Just heard that song a couple days ago. I can’t believe I never knew!
I have to add one more because I love this blog and I think Sara will appreciate this – since she told her husband about the bears and period thing…..since I have three boys, and I am the only girl in the house, everything about me that is different was always extremely fascinating to the boys. One day, my middle child (again) and his younger brother came out with a whole box of my pads, wanting to know what they were. I told them they were big band-aids – big mistake. A couple of weeks later, we had a whole houseful of company over, and my middle child comes out with pads stuck all over his arms and legs. After I got through having a heart attack, I asked him what he was doing. His response – “I fell and i had a lot of bo-bo’s to cover up. These were the only bandaides big enough.”
Confessions for June….
When my boys were 4, 6 and 8, we bought them each a fish of their choice because my mother-in-law was sick with cancer and we wanted to distract them. My husband was also gone a lot, helping to take care of his mother 3 states away from where we lived, so it was also a “bribe” thing, to get them to not whine so much and fight when dad was gone (“Want to go get more fish for your tank?”). The kids picked out Mollies at first; but when they repopulated so much, so fast (and mommy flushed all the babies down the toilet at night after kids went to bed – insert “taps” here:), we got 2 goldfish and an algae eater. One morning, before I had looked at the tank, my middle son saw his fish floating at the top of the tank. To keep him from crying, I told him that it was just taking a nap (as all goldfish do – wink, wink) and I quickly took them over to my mom’s house, so that I could sneak to the pet store (with the dead fish in a baggie) and get another one that looked just like the last one. I got it almost exactly right, but the new one was slightly larger. Of course, my kid noticed it and asked immediately why his fish was bigger – I told him that it had just eaten a lot and had grown really fast. My boys are now 16, 18 and 20; and they still do not know how the fish grew!
We moved in with my mother in law to help around the house and save money. She is a serious pack rat and seriously spends all day watching hgtv while I clean the house. Its been a month and I am tired of living out of a box. So I have been secretly throwing away a bunch of her crap and putting the rest of it in boxes to go in the basement because she won’t. because no one needs 57 (I counted) coffee mugs when you don’t drink coffee. It feels amazing.
1) I am the laziest person on earth. I’ve been wanting to have family over for a year, but am too lazy to straighten up my near-hoarding level house. I work 6 days a week, and sleep ALL DAY on the 7th day.
2) I wish I would win the lottery or in some other way be independently wealthy, because I just want to sleep.
3) I read your blog when I should be working!
4) Until I was in my 20s, I thought the green and white highway signs saying “SHA Garage” indicated the name of a town. I commented to my dad how funny it was that almost every state we’d been in had a town called SHA Garage! I felt like an idiot when he explained that it stood for State Highway Administration Garage.
5) Until I was in my 30s, I thought turkey shoots involved shooting actual turkeys.
Wednesday morning I gave an old man totally wrong directions on the subway (north was south, up was down). I hadn’t had my coffee yet, so I wasn’t braining yet. Not a big pray-er, but I asked God to get him where he was going, because this human failed miserably. *FACEPALMEXTREME*
I had minutes to okay tonight. Between what I added and what the other person wrote we are going to piss some members off. And I want to. There is this tiny bitchy part of me that is really happy. It is my way of saying get off your asses and support the community!
As for the first comment, I get that. There is someone who has been nasty to me, lied about me, lied about my business….. and still I slap a smile on my face and be nice to her because so many people just love her. I really want to say to them including her besty, would you like to know what she says about YOU? I hope people find out what a two faced witch she is.
My confession is that I’m really jealous of all the girls at work wearing pretty-colored toenail polish and open-toe sandals.
Last year a recurring toenail fungus came back with a vengeance. At first I went back on Terbinafine, which is an internal anti-fungal medication (pills). It didn’t seem to be helping this time, and I took it for 3 months. I stopped because my stomach felt weird when I took it, and it has the potential to cause kidney problems.
So lately I have been putting tea tree oil on it every morning and every night. Healthy nail is growing in, but too bad it takes about a year for a toenail to completely grow out. But then, the cherry on the cupcake came when my boyfriend accidentally stepped on my toe while giving me a hug. All of the unhealthy nail broke off. So now, I only have half my toenail.
So yes it may be first world problems, but I would really love to confidently wear pretty summer sandals during our hot ass summers, without worrying about people looking at my toe 🙁
So while some ladies envy girls who have hot summer bods that can pull off bikinis and tiny shorts, I am staring longingly at strappy sandals with punchy polish shades, while my feet are sweating in my closed toe shoes.
Oh you poor thing!!! Could you simply put a bandaid over the big toe and say “my boyfriend stepped on my toenail”?
Huh, that is really simple but could totally work! Because I usually wrap it up in tissue or something to keep it from rubbing inside my shoe, but I never really thought of wearing a bandaid with open toe shoes. And if people ask, like you said just say my boyfriend stepped on my toe! Poor guy gets all the blame to cover up my less-than-glamorous secret ;D
p.s.- One more confession is that some part of my brain thinks of you as a wise aunty that I learn so much about parenting, frugality, and healthy relationships from. Arrrgh, that sounds a little creepy but it comes from a good place!
The nail salon can also place a “fake” toenail made out of acrylic (like on your fake fingernails) over the damaged toenail. I do this because my big toenails keep breaking off because I wear flip-flops and go barefoot all of the time:)))).