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I posted some confessions last month, and you knuckleheads seemed to enjoy them. I thought perhaps I might do some more. Would yah like that?
Also, I LOVE reading yours, so make sure you add your own in the comments!
1) I rarely remember my mom raising her voice at us growing up. She taught kindergarten – third grade for over 20 years, so really, I think she was a bit of cheater. She went to school to learn how to deal with kids. I don’t have that education, and it shows.
Last week, I bribed Jack with a chocolate covered raisin to just “omg, shut up and sit still for ONE MINUTE. JUST ONE MINUTE”.
He couldn’t do it.
2) Until I was 25, I thought the ZZ Top song “Sharp Dressed Man” was “Shy Best Man”. Sing those words the next time you hear this song. You’ll get it.
3) I love clean and healthy food. Except, when I’m at Costco. At Costco, I’ll eat the shit out of some GMO, HFCS, red dye 10 samples. Gogurt? Don’t mind if I do. Philly cheesesteak? Yes please! A tiny cup of artificially flavored sparkling sugar water? :glug glug:
4) Most of the time, I run the dishwasher the night before Troy has a day off. That way, when he gets home, he’ll unload it. Unloading the dishwasher is my least favorite household chore EVER.
5) The other day, Troy and I were in the yard because I was getting ready to mow. He offered to do it, but I said I’d be happy to. It’s the old school push mower and it’s quite the workout. He said he could do it faster than me. I said “is that because my brain and hands are tiny and my period attracts bears”? He walked away to me yelling “my period attracts bears” again, and I know my weird neighbor heard me. I have yet to meet the dude’s eye since then.
6) I blog about things that I don’t always tell Troy. Then I get annoyed with him that he doesn’t know about it, because dude, read my blog. I never see you, and I hate talking on the phone; subscribe to my feed, and then you’ll know the haps, m’kay?
7) I do my absolute best to be ready for zombie attacks and the grid going down. However, we had a lot of wind last night, and the power went off. It was around 8 pm, and I was finally getting a chance to cook myself dinner after a late night at work, working out, and cleaning out the chicken coop.
A legit prepper would have been set. I on the other hand, almost cried because I was cooking some lumpia and I just wanted to freaking eat already. I ended the night on the couch reading (it stays light enough to read until about 9:15 pm ish during the summer in Seattle) a book and eating chips and salsa.
Shameful.
Care to share some confessions of your own? I promise getting things off of your chest is freeing!
I’m really afraid of zombies. I linked to your blog post because you mentioned them. My post is all about zombies today. https://atasteofalaska.blogspot.com/2013/06/zombie-cocktail.html
2) Until I was 25, I thought the ZZ Top song “Sharp Dressed Man” was “Shy Best Man”. Sing those words the next time you hear this song. You’ll get it.
I always thought ZZ’s song was Sharp A$$ed Man. I guess my hormones were raging and my mind was in the gutter the first time I heard this song when I was in high school. The sad thing is, it took me almost 15 years before realized it was Sharp Dressed Man and only because someone told me.
See? That song is clearly confusing!!
I am an aspiring makeup artist. I justify my makeup purchases every time I leave the house with that. But it’s really because I feel unappreciated with everything I do around here. So I pay myself in makeup, and smudge the budget a bit to cover the expense.
When my daughter was a toddler, she was addicted to her bottle. Milk could ONLY be in a bottle, not a sippy cup. Don’t ask me why. It just was, she’s peculiar like that. By the time she turned 3, we weaned her to 1 bottle a day, but she was still addicted. Shortly after her birthday, we were taking a trip to Florida and I told her Florida didn’t believe in bottles and we couldn’t bring it with us. I brought one just in case she had a breakdown, but I didn’t have use it. She gave up the bottle…and milk (remember, milk could only be in a bottle, not a cup, ). During her kindergarten year I bribed her with chocolate milk to get her to start drinking it again. Fortunately milk could be in a glass this time. She’s now 8 and will only drink chocolate milk made at home (no premixed stuff, no handmixed chocolate milk at anyone else’s house). Kid, help a mother out!
“Florida doesn’t believe in bottles”? OMG, dead. I’m dead.
I have been teaching middle school students for eleven years and I never yell at them. I even coached for a few years and wasn’t a yeller. Then I had my own kids…and I yell…a lot.
My two-year-old is currently laying beside me on the couch with her pacifier (which she’s not supposed to have unless she’s in bed) and the iPad (screen time for a toddler?!?). She woke up at 5:50 and I just wanted to keep her quiet so she wouldn’t wake up my other two daughters and my in-laws, who are staying with us.
Sometimes snack time is declared in my house because a) I want my kids to clean up all their toys and they’ll do it quickly to get a snack or b) I just want them to be quiet and stay still for a few minutes.
I sometimes ignore texts from my best friend because I don’t wanna hangout with her and her kids. I make my husband lie about it to her husband too!
At work, I sometimes act like I am really busy with my patient load (when really I am not) so I don’t have to take on another patient-leaving it for someone whose shift isn’t as long as mine. Sound bad?
I told my manager I was going to the beach today so I wouldn’t be asked to work extra! All I wanted was to have a freaking day off! (but, why did I feel guilty then?)
I eat like crap a lot because my husband refuses to eat healthier and I just don’t care….until I look in the mirror! 🙁
I don’t have my own kids but really like to yell at my friends kids when she isn’t around if they are doing something they shouldn’t! Hehehe! The look on their faces is priceless!
I am sure there are more but I’ll save them for next time!
I don’t know how your mom did it. I had four kids and I’ve always had a “Drill Sargeant’s Yell” (not my words). My kids and the neighborhood heard it a lot! They knew it was trouble when I got to using three names instead of just one. And there’s no shame in having junk food on a rough night–I always figure it’s a bonus night for me!
I only had 2 boys and yelled ALL the time……And sometimes smacked an arm….but not too hard…and just the arm.
And they both turned out just FINE! A pharmacist and a chef. Not so bad…
I am currently taking some online classes in preparation for beginning my second Bachelor’s degree. I really hate the classes that I have to take. Whenever I get an email that you have a new post, I open it in a new tab but don’t let myself read it until I’ve finished some of my homework. Knowing that I get to read this blog at the end makes homework go so much faster! 🙂
Awww, I’m honored I can help in any way!
I sometimes say ‘I forgot to stop at the store’ when I just don’t want to face grocery shopping people, then call it garbage night and eat what ever we want that’s in the house as long as it doesn’t have to be prepared/cooked.
Too too funny.
-I’ve bribed my 1.5yr old nephew with my Kindle and give him car games he really likes. I am just not used to having to exhaust so much energy out of somebody before they become manageable.
-I tell people all the time that I’ve already eaten when I haven’t, because I’m either not hungry or just want to go chill out and not cook.
-Not all water bodies cause me anxiety (I’m a strange hydrophobic), but sometimes I’ll fake that they do because people consider it interesting. I.e., I’m not afraid of most over-ground blue pools, but in-ground fountains at night scare the living lights out of me.
-People think my family is normal and we get along great. I’ve told them so. Because I’d rather them not pry the other way as to how dysfunctional we are and what I have to endure.
-I ate 2 hotdog franks (no buns) with shredded cheese (microwaved), ketchup and mustard, accompanied by a cup of ramen noodles last night. Gosh, it feels so good to get that out of my chest! I just didn’t want to cook and it was cold and rainy!
Boys are EXHAUSTING!!!!