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I posted some confessions last month, and you knuckleheads seemed to enjoy them. I thought perhaps I might do some more. Would yah like that?
Also, I LOVE reading yours, so make sure you add your own in the comments!
1) I rarely remember my mom raising her voice at us growing up. She taught kindergarten – third grade for over 20 years, so really, I think she was a bit of cheater. She went to school to learn how to deal with kids. I don’t have that education, and it shows.
Last week, I bribed Jack with a chocolate covered raisin to just “omg, shut up and sit still for ONE MINUTE. JUST ONE MINUTE”.
He couldn’t do it.
2) Until I was 25, I thought the ZZ Top song “Sharp Dressed Man” was “Shy Best Man”. Sing those words the next time you hear this song. You’ll get it.
3) I love clean and healthy food. Except, when I’m at Costco. At Costco, I’ll eat the shit out of some GMO, HFCS, red dye 10 samples. Gogurt? Don’t mind if I do. Philly cheesesteak? Yes please! A tiny cup of artificially flavored sparkling sugar water? :glug glug:
4) Most of the time, I run the dishwasher the night before Troy has a day off. That way, when he gets home, he’ll unload it. Unloading the dishwasher is my least favorite household chore EVER.
5) The other day, Troy and I were in the yard because I was getting ready to mow. He offered to do it, but I said I’d be happy to. It’s the old school push mower and it’s quite the workout. He said he could do it faster than me. I said “is that because my brain and hands are tiny and my period attracts bears”? He walked away to me yelling “my period attracts bears” again, and I know my weird neighbor heard me. I have yet to meet the dude’s eye since then.
6) I blog about things that I don’t always tell Troy. Then I get annoyed with him that he doesn’t know about it, because dude, read my blog. I never see you, and I hate talking on the phone; subscribe to my feed, and then you’ll know the haps, m’kay?
7) I do my absolute best to be ready for zombie attacks and the grid going down. However, we had a lot of wind last night, and the power went off. It was around 8 pm, and I was finally getting a chance to cook myself dinner after a late night at work, working out, and cleaning out the chicken coop.
A legit prepper would have been set. I on the other hand, almost cried because I was cooking some lumpia and I just wanted to freaking eat already. I ended the night on the couch reading (it stays light enough to read until about 9:15 pm ish during the summer in Seattle) a book and eating chips and salsa.
Shameful.
Care to share some confessions of your own? I promise getting things off of your chest is freeing!
For years I thought “Rock the Casbah” was “Lock the Cashbox.”
I LOVE the confessions! The comment about “my period attracts bears” cracked me up.
Oh, and I finally just started e-mailing my hubby all of my blog posts so he doesn’t have any excuse now for not reading them. I mean seriously, he spends hours a day reading mountain bikers blogs, he can spend 10-15 minutes to read the latest about what happens around here.
Lets see…
I have justified eating not so healthy for the last 3ish months because my hubby is TDY and my kiddo complains about everything I cook. So, to avoid the complaining, we’ve been eating really expensive, gluten-free, GMO-free, organic cereal. That makes us feel like crap, but tastes oh so yummy.
For said cereal, I will eat a second bowl after the kiddo goes to bed, then feign ignorance as to why there is so little left the next day.
I finally found a babysitter and feel guilty about how excited I am to go study alone at a cafe for a few hours without her. And get crap to eat and drink.
While I am so ready for the hubby to be home, I am a little sad that I wont have the bed to myself anymore. 3 months of sleeping all sprawled out has been kinda nice.
I really want to yell out my apartment window at the people smoking by the front door, to remind them that smoking by the front door isn’t allowed. I HATE when my apartment smells like cigarette smoke because of them. Hate it.
When I lived in an apartment there was someone who just moved in smoking in the hallway when he would go to/from his car. I reported him to the rental office. It stopped! Or, make your own signs and plaster them all over the place!
Confessions:
We told our children that the candy fairy comes and takes away their Halloween candy after a couple of days post Halloween, so that we don’t have to listen to them ask 100 times when they can have another piece.
I sometimes hide in my bathroom from my three kids, but I think all moms do that.
I hide boxes of Fruity Pebbles in different places so I don’t have to share them with the kids.
I have many people in my life that I can’t stand. I am really a horrible person on the inside but I hide it for the greater good. LOL I work with several non profits and there are people involved that I want to scratch their eyes out. I put up with them as so not to short change the mission of the organization. They have EVERYTHING, from money to job security, perfect health, good looking bodies, a fancy house, etc. It is the little green monster of jealousy, I guess. I know that one should never judge people based on what is on the outside but I can’t help but want to tell them to shut up when their biggest issue is that they need to postpone their annual vacation because her husband has a meeting he has to go to. Meanwhile I spend countless hours and dollars just patching my family’s bodies back together. I know I’m whining, but GEEEEEEZZZZZ! I can’t catch a break.
I do feel better. 🙂
I brought my dog to work and when he pooped on the front lawn I didn’t pick it up. It was my goodbye present. 🙂 Also, I deleted my previous post of this same confession for grammatical reasons. ha.
When my husband is home, he does laundry on Sundays while he watches “the game.” My confession? I usually STOP doing laundry on Friday (or Thursday even) so he’ll have plenty to keep him busy … 🙂
Also, AWESOME! 🙂 I will definitely be taking a mental note of some of these confessions!
You are hilarious. Love what you do.
I just resumed my own confession feature. Missed yours but will be back, looking for them. Drop you link on mine. I’m asking for links to blogs. Find mine here: https://blackandgraylifemusings.blogspot.com/2013/06/confession-tuesday.html
Told my 3 year old the ice cream truck was just a funny looking car and that darn kid should really turn down his music!
I have to leave the house by 6 AM, sometimes I bribe my sleepy cranky son with a fruit snack if he lets me brush his teeth…brushing your teeth is super important, now shove this sugary fruit snack in your cry hole and get in the car!
Awesome!
Okay here it goes
I have a bladder infection and have used it to get out of everything in the house and yard today. It was my day off and I let the kids have run of the house as long as they let me lay on the couch.
I read the last comment and am going camping this next weekend with my husbands coworkers and spouses. He has worked with them 6 yrs and secretly thought that above comment was about another wife going with us.
I thought my cat to pee out side because I HATE to clean the litter box.
Wow I better get off this before my husband reads over my shoulder and leaves everything out for me to pick up tomorrow.. (Because of the first confession)
I am currently busting my rump to lose weight before I go on a camping trip that my biggest nemesis is going to be on because I want to be skinnier than her…because frankly I hate her guts. And even though in public I take the high road and never say a bad thing about her secretly I wish I had a voodoo doll of her so I could run over it with my car. You said be honest. 🙂 I am really not a violent person, just in this one instance I promise. This beast has spent the last 6 years trying everything to make my life miserable, I just want her gone. Ok, I kind of do feel better.
I hope she looks like a complete hag!
Ha ha so funny! I think we all have these people in our lives.
We all have a couple of those….I have a couple women I know that I pretend to like because it is easier than telling them they are completely self centered valley girls.
On your behalf, I hope she gets fat and goes gray before you see her. 😉
And maybe has her hair fall out!