Confessions – March

One of the reoccurring comments that popped up when I announced my site’s branding was “great. Just keep the confessions”. Oh, friends, Confessions are here to stay. We’re in it to win it.

If you’re new here, confessions are a (mostly) monthly series where I share really stupid stuff with you all. Then you share silly stuff with the class, we all have a fan-freaking-tastic time and go about our days.

Let’s get this party started!

1. I’ve never seen the movie 16 Candles. And I have no plans to ever change that. You hate me right now.
2. We have popcorn and movie nights every week. After I drizzle the butter on the popcorn, I shake it a few times to distribute. Then I pour some more butter.  And then I eat the top of everyone’s popcorn bowl before I bring it out into the living room. Because that is where all the butter is and that is the best part.
3. I don’t understand Reddit. And based on what I hear, I don’t really want to understand it. I already have so much in my life that can help me waste time.
4. I have weird man hands. They’re ugly AF and my nails are always jacked because I work with my hands a lot. There are scars, and the backs become bright pink in the cold due to a gas oven exploding when I lit it back in 2005. But my hands are really strong and can do so many things and have served me well. Maybe I should use nail polish or something to try to fancy them up.
5. I do 99% of the laundry in our house, including my Dad’s. One morning Troy was getting dressed and I hear him yell “what the fuck”?! Apparently, when I was putting the laundry away, I accidentally put my Dad’s underwear in Troy’s drawer and he had inadvertently put them on. The reaction was so swift and hilarious (to me) that if it wasn’t for Troy’s mental health, I’d likely do that once a month.
6. I hate flossing and I resent that I have to do it. Yeah, I mean, I want to keep my original teeth so I continue to floss. But I freaking hate it.
7. When you blog, everyone has tons of advice on how to do it the “right way”. One of the things that consistently comes up is the idea of an “avatar”. No, not the blue creature from the James Cameron movie, but a compilation of your readers. I’ve lost you here, haven’t I?    The idea is that when you write, you write for that person. Back in the old days of blogging (2010 ish), you just wrote whatever and it was generally word diarrhea. Feel free to check out my older posts. 🙂Now, you write for your avatar because that means you’re writing for others and therefore are helping someone.In most cases, an avatar is a mix of your friends and who you were two years ago.So, when I sit and write my posts, I write for Mae. Mae is the nickname I was going to give Bennett if Bennett had been a chick. Other than my Scattered Sundays and Meal Plan posts (and I guess this one too), when I write a post, I write for my friend Mae. Want to hear about Mae? She’s pretty rad.

   Mae is 34 years old and lives outside of a major city with her family. She likes to be close to a cultural center but really craves small town life. On the outside, she totally looks like she has her shit together, but inside she is often a mess. To anyone observing her she looks like a duck calming swimming, but underneath the water, she is paddling her flippers as fast as she fucking can.

   Mae loves healthy food and cooking most of the time, but can do some extreme damage to a Costco sample cart full of crappy processed food. When she is on the real foods train, she is fully on it. From scratch meals, organic ingredients – the whole shebang. But then when something happens and she stress eats a sleeve of Thin Mints, she feels like a failure and a fraud.

   She loves the idea of quick and healthy meals to serve her family, but 90% of the recipes she pins or tears out of magazines are desserts. As much as Mae wants to be creative with cooking, she finds herself making the same 15 meals over and over. She reads blogs for new ways to serve the same old foods.

   She is all in when it comes to a sustainable lifestyle (or at least the idea of it) – garden, cooking, canning, DIY, and dreams about a small hobby farm. But then she keeps trying to do it all at once and burns out and just wants to light a match to everything. She has yet to figure out that Balance is Bullshit.

   Mae works her ass off but often feels like she is pushing a rock up a hill with her little toe. She always has big life and work plans and when things are going well she attributes it to chance or luck. When things take a dive and something goes wrong or doesn’t work out, the self-doubt creeps in and it becomes all her fault.

   She likes being around people and has good friends but often feels isolated and turns to blogs and social media for connection. Mae loves to be entertained and finds comfort when she reads experiences of others who don’t make her feel so weird or odd. It makes her realize that maybe not everyone has their shit together.

   Mae doesn’t know when she will ever be considered a grown up. She has no idea how her parents made it all look so easy. She is trying hard to improve herself and wants to make a difference in this world. She keeps paddling and tries to take one step forward every single day.

Alright friends, your turn! Confess away.