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Confessions, September

Let’s get right down to it, shall we?

1) Jack and I were driving to work one day, when I saw a women I knew walking to the bus.  She works at the daycare center next to my work, and we see each other outside during lunches.  I stopped to give her a ride and she was very sweet and thankful about it.  Turns out she has five kids (FIVE) and takes the bus because she doesn’t have a car.

I see her from time to time and will always stop and give her a ride; probably about twice a week.

This has been going on all summer now.

I don’t know her name!  At this point I’m too embarrassed about it and can’t ask her what it is, and if I asked Jack to ask her, he’d say “my mommy wants me to ask what your name is”.  I’m stuck!

2) Troy is gone more than he is home.  I’ve always loved sleeping alone because Troy is a horrible snorer and I’m such a light sleeper.

I’m not sure how it happened, or when it happened, but I started having something almost like anxiety about being alone in the house.  Not that I’m scared or anything, but nervous that something might happen to Jack, and it would be my fault.

I put him to bed in his room each night, and every night that Troy is away, I bring him in to my bed.  Jack has never been a kid who wants to be in bed with adults, but he is asleep when I do it, and he won’t wake up for a bomb.

Every night while I am brushing my teeth, I say I’m going to leave him in his bed.  And every night, I bring him in to mine.  I can’t explain it, but I know it will pass.

3) A reader once sent me an email trying to be helpful explaining to me that in my writing I’m trying too hard to come across as “kooky”.  I sent her a very thoughtful and lengthy reply, and the chick never wrote me back.  That annoyed the hell out of me – freaking respond!

4) I have a client who is ESL (English as a Second Language), and her English is really really poor.  She tries super hard and is extremely kind.  She always pops by my office unannounced and her  questions take a long time to answer.

One of the first times she stopped by, she told me I was very pretty.  I thanked her for her compliment, and said she was very sweet.  Ever since then, she has something very similar when she leaves our appointment.

Then one day she didn’t say it, and I wanted to shout after her “do I look ugly today or something?  Is it my hair?  My clothes”?

5) For someone who spends a lot of time writing and wordsmithing, I am HORRIBLE at Words With Friends.  Absolutely atrocious.

6) I’m finding myself liking British period dramas and comedies, but I can’t stand Downton Abbey.  I tried three episodes, but I couldn’t get in to it.  Maybe I should try again?

7) As I’ve aged, I’ve become so much more honest with myself.  Things I previously swept under the rug, I can freely declare with confidence.

So, here we go.

I cannot stand The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Their music is absolutely terrible.  Just terrible.

Oh my, that felt good to get off my chest.

8) When I see bloggers posting photos of their huge families all wearing homemade clothes and working in their garden, I want to both laugh and shout.  I don’t have any help in my garden, nor can I make homemade clothes.  But what really gets my dander up is that the mom is always wearing a skirt.

Who in the hell wears a skirt gardening?

I wear shorts, or grungy warm up pants and still find dirt in strange places on myself.  Not to mention, radishes don’t want to see your vagina.

9) I fluctuate constantly between wanting to throttle Troy for putting us through this shithole experience, and being really proud of how hard he works.

Ok folks, your turn.  Get those secrets and weighty thoughts off of your chest!

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42 comments on “Confessions, September”

  1. I’m glad you went with radish and not cucumbers…
    HILARIOUS post! and I have to say I see a lot of similarities :/

  2. I think that anxiety comes with being a mom. What you are going through at night is natural. I raised 3 boys / trust me…there is always something to worry about. And it is just like a button that gets turned on when you become a mother, whereas you might have been fearless with not a care in the world prior.