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Confessions, September

Let’s get right down to it, shall we?

1) Jack and I were driving to work one day, when I saw a women I knew walking to the bus.  She works at the daycare center next to my work, and we see each other outside during lunches.  I stopped to give her a ride and she was very sweet and thankful about it.  Turns out she has five kids (FIVE) and takes the bus because she doesn’t have a car.

I see her from time to time and will always stop and give her a ride; probably about twice a week.

This has been going on all summer now.

I don’t know her name!  At this point I’m too embarrassed about it and can’t ask her what it is, and if I asked Jack to ask her, he’d say “my mommy wants me to ask what your name is”.  I’m stuck!

2) Troy is gone more than he is home.  I’ve always loved sleeping alone because Troy is a horrible snorer and I’m such a light sleeper.

I’m not sure how it happened, or when it happened, but I started having something almost like anxiety about being alone in the house.  Not that I’m scared or anything, but nervous that something might happen to Jack, and it would be my fault.

I put him to bed in his room each night, and every night that Troy is away, I bring him in to my bed.  Jack has never been a kid who wants to be in bed with adults, but he is asleep when I do it, and he won’t wake up for a bomb.

Every night while I am brushing my teeth, I say I’m going to leave him in his bed.  And every night, I bring him in to mine.  I can’t explain it, but I know it will pass.

3) A reader once sent me an email trying to be helpful explaining to me that in my writing I’m trying too hard to come across as “kooky”.  I sent her a very thoughtful and lengthy reply, and the chick never wrote me back.  That annoyed the hell out of me – freaking respond!

4) I have a client who is ESL (English as a Second Language), and her English is really really poor.  She tries super hard and is extremely kind.  She always pops by my office unannounced and her  questions take a long time to answer.

One of the first times she stopped by, she told me I was very pretty.  I thanked her for her compliment, and said she was very sweet.  Ever since then, she has something very similar when she leaves our appointment.

Then one day she didn’t say it, and I wanted to shout after her “do I look ugly today or something?  Is it my hair?  My clothes”?

5) For someone who spends a lot of time writing and wordsmithing, I am HORRIBLE at Words With Friends.  Absolutely atrocious.

6) I’m finding myself liking British period dramas and comedies, but I can’t stand Downton Abbey.  I tried three episodes, but I couldn’t get in to it.  Maybe I should try again?

7) As I’ve aged, I’ve become so much more honest with myself.  Things I previously swept under the rug, I can freely declare with confidence.

So, here we go.

I cannot stand The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Their music is absolutely terrible.  Just terrible.

Oh my, that felt good to get off my chest.

8) When I see bloggers posting photos of their huge families all wearing homemade clothes and working in their garden, I want to both laugh and shout.  I don’t have any help in my garden, nor can I make homemade clothes.  But what really gets my dander up is that the mom is always wearing a skirt.

Who in the hell wears a skirt gardening?

I wear shorts, or grungy warm up pants and still find dirt in strange places on myself.  Not to mention, radishes don’t want to see your vagina.

9) I fluctuate constantly between wanting to throttle Troy for putting us through this shithole experience, and being really proud of how hard he works.

Ok folks, your turn.  Get those secrets and weighty thoughts off of your chest!

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42 comments on “Confessions, September”

  1. I’m glad you went with radish and not cucumbers…
    HILARIOUS post! and I have to say I see a lot of similarities :/

  2. I think that anxiety comes with being a mom. What you are going through at night is natural. I raised 3 boys / trust me…there is always something to worry about. And it is just like a button that gets turned on when you become a mother, whereas you might have been fearless with not a care in the world prior.

  3. So I’m very curious at this point. Did you ever find out her name?!?!?????

    My confessions

    1.) I keep up with about 10 frugality/personal finance blogs a week. They are all written by SAHMs or WAHMs, I think one is written by a work out of home mom but the dad stays at home. Anywho. I’m in a DINK family and we don’t intend on ever having kids and sometimes I wonder if dual income families don’t need financial advice or are we (Dinks) too lazy to write a blog about finance/frugality.
    2.) I bought a sewing machine three months ago and have yet to bust it out to do any of the projects that I had planned.
    3.) I hate out family routine right now and I really wish I knew a way to change it up/make it different/ anything. I feel like its groundhog’s day!!!!!!!!

  4. Ok, here goes.
    1. I LOVE your blog.
    2. I have OCD
    3. I am afraid of the dark. Not of monsters, but if I hear a noise, I want to be able to see whats around me.
    4. I am obsessed with The Walking Dead, but other zombie movies scare me lol

  5. Silly Sarah, radishes don’t mind seeing vaginas, it’s the potatoes, because they have too many eyes! But I agree with Krista R and the granny-panties comment.

  6. I’m terrible with names too! I would think of a reason you might need her phone number and ask her to program it into you phone for you because you are driving and you can’t mess with a phone while driving.

    My confessions…

    I am so tired of LOL. I read it in a valley girl accent and fake laugh every time I come across it.

    I will not acknowledge anyone who makes the sound “twerk”. I say sound because I absolutely refuse to accept it as an actual word! If someone tries to use it in a sentence I immediately think you are an idiot and I want nothing to do with you!

    I can’t stand materialistic people. I especially hate the whole Coach handbag obsession. For one, the company outsourced production years ago and now makes money for selling you something that’s probably made in the same building as products sold in Target. I really don’t understand why they are so popular. Every time I see someone with one I’m tempted to say to them, “Congratulations on being suckered into paying a ridiculous amount of money for a product that cost about $10 to make and was probably made by someone being paid less than a dollar to make it! But it’s totally worth it to walk abound with a bag covered in the letter C!” My fried adores them and I’m all like really, you carry a wallet a phone and tampons in them?? I don’t get it.

    I laugh uncontrollably when someone says tea bag. It’s so immature, but I can’t help it. I’m even giggling now as I write it.

    • I don’t get Coach bags either, but I have a friend who has a few and for her it is the fact that they last a really really long time. It’s not my thing, but whatevs. I have a purse that I bought on clearance at Macy’s that I’ve had for six years now.

      One day, a hipster told me she loved my vintage bag. I told her it wasn’t vintage, but she complimented me on the “pantina” of the leather. I informed her it was chicken grease, but thanks for the compliment.

  7. I spit coffee out (through my nose) when I read the part about radishes not wanting to see vaginas. I thoroughly enjoy the kookiness and quirkiness of your blog. Some people like to hide behind a photograph of how they WANT you to see their lives. Others prefer Polaroids that embrace the craziness and reality! That is why I love reading your blog.
    My confessions:
    1. I learned that if you unwrap gummies or chocolates while the sink water is running, your kids don’t hear what you are doing and you don’t have to share.
    2. While all of the super moms were talking about how they have a giant case of the sads because they aren’t ready for their sweet babies to go back to school and how they will truly miss the sounds of their beautiful voices playing… i was doing giant happy dance while singing “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!!!” (anyone remember that staples commercial?!)
    3. All moms have it super hard, whether they stay at home or leave to work (I stay at home.. for now). A while ago on facebook a friend posted an e-card that said: “I hear you. Raising kids and running a house keep me busy too. I also have this little gig on the side called a full time job.” My confession is that I let it make me cry, for a moment. I try to be all tough and strong and confident about being a stay at home mom but that cut deep. It was mean and hurtful but I am sure someone along the line made her feel just as bad for being a working mom and that is why she posted it.
    4. I think I secretly want to read “50 shades of Grey” just to see what all the hype is about.

    • I’m pretty sure I’ll be thrilled when school is back in session when Jack is in “real” school.

      Oh, I’m sorry about #3. I don’t know why we all insist on judging anyone else for how they’ve chosen to live their lives. I get where she is coming from, and I think you’re very gracious in acknowledging that someone else probably made her feel bad. But honestly, she didn’t need to then extend the hurt!