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Confessions, September

Let’s get right down to it, shall we?

1) Jack and I were driving to work one day, when I saw a women I knew walking to the bus.  She works at the daycare center next to my work, and we see each other outside during lunches.  I stopped to give her a ride and she was very sweet and thankful about it.  Turns out she has five kids (FIVE) and takes the bus because she doesn’t have a car.

I see her from time to time and will always stop and give her a ride; probably about twice a week.

This has been going on all summer now.

I don’t know her name!  At this point I’m too embarrassed about it and can’t ask her what it is, and if I asked Jack to ask her, he’d say “my mommy wants me to ask what your name is”.  I’m stuck!

2) Troy is gone more than he is home.  I’ve always loved sleeping alone because Troy is a horrible snorer and I’m such a light sleeper.

I’m not sure how it happened, or when it happened, but I started having something almost like anxiety about being alone in the house.  Not that I’m scared or anything, but nervous that something might happen to Jack, and it would be my fault.

I put him to bed in his room each night, and every night that Troy is away, I bring him in to my bed.  Jack has never been a kid who wants to be in bed with adults, but he is asleep when I do it, and he won’t wake up for a bomb.

Every night while I am brushing my teeth, I say I’m going to leave him in his bed.  And every night, I bring him in to mine.  I can’t explain it, but I know it will pass.

3) A reader once sent me an email trying to be helpful explaining to me that in my writing I’m trying too hard to come across as “kooky”.  I sent her a very thoughtful and lengthy reply, and the chick never wrote me back.  That annoyed the hell out of me – freaking respond!

4) I have a client who is ESL (English as a Second Language), and her English is really really poor.  She tries super hard and is extremely kind.  She always pops by my office unannounced and her  questions take a long time to answer.

One of the first times she stopped by, she told me I was very pretty.  I thanked her for her compliment, and said she was very sweet.  Ever since then, she has something very similar when she leaves our appointment.

Then one day she didn’t say it, and I wanted to shout after her “do I look ugly today or something?  Is it my hair?  My clothes”?

5) For someone who spends a lot of time writing and wordsmithing, I am HORRIBLE at Words With Friends.  Absolutely atrocious.

6) I’m finding myself liking British period dramas and comedies, but I can’t stand Downton Abbey.  I tried three episodes, but I couldn’t get in to it.  Maybe I should try again?

7) As I’ve aged, I’ve become so much more honest with myself.  Things I previously swept under the rug, I can freely declare with confidence.

So, here we go.

I cannot stand The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Their music is absolutely terrible.  Just terrible.

Oh my, that felt good to get off my chest.

8) When I see bloggers posting photos of their huge families all wearing homemade clothes and working in their garden, I want to both laugh and shout.  I don’t have any help in my garden, nor can I make homemade clothes.  But what really gets my dander up is that the mom is always wearing a skirt.

Who in the hell wears a skirt gardening?

I wear shorts, or grungy warm up pants and still find dirt in strange places on myself.  Not to mention, radishes don’t want to see your vagina.

9) I fluctuate constantly between wanting to throttle Troy for putting us through this shithole experience, and being really proud of how hard he works.

Ok folks, your turn.  Get those secrets and weighty thoughts off of your chest!

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42 comments on “Confessions, September”

  1. Do give Downton Abbey another try. I just got the 2nd second season from the library and love it!

  2. I was at a playdate at a mom friends pool this summer and I had to sign in but I had to put her name…. Ummm, first name is Hana…last name is??? Hey how do you spell your last name? It is Santigo…oh, sorry. I feel your pain ๐Ÿ™‚ I would say that you want to know what she wants Jack to call her. In VA, we are sort of southern and people call Ms. and there first names and others go by last names so just ask what she would prefer Jack call her and it is still super proper. I agree on the skirt gardening but I guess whatever people want in their own yards right ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. 1)I LOVE your blogs– never thought it sounded like you were trying to be “kooky”. It’s a very natural “kooky” that totally cracks me up!
    *I can’t stand people who try to give others complexes*
    If you have nothing nice to say (about someone), don’t say anything at all, eh?

    2)I have a growing hatred for the movie Bambi and all deer in general. Even more so, I am becoming resentful living ‘in-city’ and not being allowed to shoot the lovely buck that uses my garden as a buffet on a daily basis.
    So far he has eaten:

    -4 beautiful heirloom tomato plants (waiting until just BEFORE they are ripe). I have not had a single tomato yet!
    -3 bell pepper plants
    -1 okra plant that he ate, dug up, and threw onto my strawberry patch.
    -Trampling my raised garden beds, smooching my kale and greens.
    -OH! and also, completely killed one of my cherry trees with his antlers. (I only have 2 cherry trees— so good luck with no pollination!)

    My husband got out his skil-saw the other day (loud scary noises!) to no avil. Mr. Big Buck just stood there with his massive rack, chewing, staring at us. He was about 200 feet away.

    I was going to “run him off” until my hubby stopped me and informed me that he would “kill me dead”.
    Apparently deer are dangerous creatures that gore people when threatened.

    Yup, it’s official. I hate deer.

  4. How about discussing nicknames (hers, yours (as a child, now), your son’s, her kids etc. so it’s not so specific)? You may actually figure out her name (e.g. Lizzie for Elizabeth) or you may find a nickname that she prefers to be called. Using the same example maybe she would use Elizabeth at work but her friends call her Lizzie.

  5. Ask her what her name is. When she gives you a weird look with her name say NO. I meant your last name cause I met someone I thought for sure mite be related to you (at random spot ).
    Long time stalker enjoying your kookiness whether intended or not ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. I get how you feel about being alone at night, but after 34 years, I’m ready for an occasional alone night! (That seems to be the most common complaint of women, have you noticed?) I’ve only been away from my husband one time, for six months, before we moved to Washington from Oklahoma. He moved here first and then I joined him. I was living with some of my grown children, but I was still lonely at night.

    It would be nice to have an occasional day to myself though, now. He’s retired and I care for his brother who has Down’s, so I never really get a day off or time alone. I could go somewhere, but I just really want the house to myself, ya know? And Tina–it eventually gets better, trust me! We homeschooled four kids, and somedays I just wanted to run away from home! Fortunately I was working at the time and I could get away. Maybe you can arrange to go visit some family for a couple of days vacation? I guess when I think of my mom, who is 76 now and has outlived two husbands, I realize it could be worse.

    I kind of like RHCP, but just some of their stuff. There are very few groups that I like everything they do. (Hey, I grew up with the Beatles and the Beach Boys.)

    Those weird types who garden and raise kids and do everything like you mention annoy the piss out of me, too! And especially the skirt bit! I live in my mom jeans, too fat for anything else and can’t seem to battle the weight off. Besides, jeans are comfortable and they cover absolutely everything I don’t want anyone to see who isn’t a doctor or my husband, and they have a license to see it. And skirts just don’t seem to stay where I put them anymore, I also have a mom figure now. I’m at the stage where I’m not even sure I ever want to wear a dress even, and haven’t owned one for…uhm…twenty years now, I think?

    I hate gardening, the heat, the bugs, dirt, you get my drift here? But I’m going to have to soon because the price of food is ridiculous and I don’t like what they put in some of it. I’m a good cook at least, but I’ve gotten tired of doing it every day after 34 years. Now I know why Grandad took Grandma out for dinner nearly every day, that’s what I call true love!

    My kids were more like “Malcolm in the Middle” than “Little House on the Prairie”, or normal is what I called them. They actually turned out pretty good for all the chaos and I’m proud of them everyday. I have a couple of deadly cute gradkids too.

    I enjoy your blog in my email everyday–you’ve had some great recipes, funny stories, and even some good ideas/advice. I even envy you being able to be so organized and doing the storage and canning things. Keep up the good work!

    And if someone thinks you come across as too “kooky”, celebrate it! It’s who you are and that’s all they need to know. They can always read somebody else’s blog if they don’t like it. We’re all kooky in some way, and the ones who thinks it’s weird are the kookiest of all!

    • I think you deserve a whole week of doing nothing, sleeping alone, and having someone else cook for you!

      I don’t worry about the whole kooky thing. I am who I am, and I’m not going to change or pretend I’m not for someone else. That is basically what I told her in a very nice away. Along the lines of “if you read my posts waaaaay back from 2010, you’ll see I have the same voice I do now. It would be awfully exhausting to keep up a charade that long”.

  7. I feel like such a slacker, because my garden never got out of the planning phase (thanks for never building my raised planters , honey)
    I hate working full time & wish that I could cut my hours. But I really like having enough money…
    I saved up & bought myself a really expensive toy, & I still don’t know how to work it because I haven’t played with it since it came in. & I even had a week’s vacation!

    • Ohhhhhh, whatcha buy!

      I killed all my seedlings this year and had to buy from the farmer’s market. Repeat after me, because you’ll learn this saying a lot “there is always next year”!

  8. HA! I’m sorry the radish comment got me giggling. WHO DOES WEAR A SKIRT? I guess because a large percentage of those bloggers and the “God made women to wear skirts and obey their husbands crowd”, and while I applaud their sacrifice, ain’t nobody got time fa dat. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Love your posts, keep up the kookiness!

    Stacie

    • Ok time to confess hear. I have half a dozen old peasant skirts from the thrift store. I wear these out in the garden and for housework in the summer. Summer mind you. Because as a bigger gal, I get super hot and find that skirts are much cooler than shorts. I am not a Christian and I sure as hell do not obey my husband.

  9. Just wandered around your site and found other Confession posts!!!

  10. I’m horrible at names and have found myself in your exact same situation several times. I’ve found the best way to deal with it….just be honest!!

    I have a pad and pen ready and say to them, “You are probably going to think I’m nuts, but I’m horrible with remembering names if I don’t actually write them down. Please help me by giving me the correct spelling of your first and last name”.

    This works for me every time. I get the name and can remember it after I write it a few times and associate it with a way to remember it. Do this while you are having lunch with her.

    I think it’s great that you give her rides and save her bus fare….I’m sure she appreciates it and will have no problem forgiving you for your name lapse!

    I’m a very outspoken person and will usually just tell someone what is bothering me. We either work it out or part ways and I’m not bothered anymore.

    1. Poor grammar and spelling in blogs drives me nuts and I want to correct the blog and send it back to the blogger…..but don’t because I’m sure they would block me from their blog!! Incorrect use of ‘I’ and ‘me’ is the worst!!

    2. Perfect blog families also drive me nuts….and some of the handmade clothes look so tacky!!

    3. All the blog commenters that gush over how fantastic the tacky clothes are make me want to puke. Surely they can see how awful the husband’s handmade bow tie and hat look!!

    4. Organic is a joke…I’m from a farming state…wind and rain makes organic impossible….no farm is pesticide free. People are wasting money and think they are eating healthier!!

    5. Women who blog about making their own kotex and toilet paper are nasty freaks.

    6. I hate people that chronically late and stop socializing with them…..and the same for people who mess with their cell phone while with me.

    That’s my list of a advise and confessions, for today!! I hope you start having “Confession Day” every month!! This is great!! I love your money saving tips and tricks….keep up the good work and hang in there!!