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If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.
Let’s get started!
Confession 1
I tried to buy a new candle the other day and thought “wow, all these candles barely smell”. Nothing makes me feel dumber than later realizing I was trying to sniff a candle through a mask.
Confession 2
For whatever reason, I feel that typing “1:00” into the microwave is far superior to entering in “60”. Even though it technically takes more time because I am pushing one extra button.
Confession 3
I cannot tell you how many times recently that I have searched through our pantry in the dark trying to find something…only to remember that we installed a light in there during the remodel.
Confession 4
I bought a bra at the start of lockdown that has never fit right. At the time, Target had a policy where you couldn’t try things on before purchasing. I grabbed what appeared to be the bra I normally wear and brought it home.
It was only about a week ago that I realized (after 13 months…) that it is actually a nursing bra.
Confession 5
When Jack turned four, his pediatrician did an eye exam during his yearly well-check. His doc put out a chart with shapes and asked Jack to name them.
Jack had seen there was a chart with letters and words on it, and with his voice dripping with disdain he looked his doctor in the eye and said “I can read you know”.
I still cannot go to the eye doctor without giggling about it.
Confession 6
We have to put the child lock on our dishwasher because the control panel is so sensitive that just brushing past it will push a bunch of buttons at once.
I never understood why people would want a dishwasher that had the buttons on the top/inside of the door. Now I know.
Confession 7
On my walking route, I have seen a ton of people building new raised garden beds. This makes my heart sing, but I also see so many things they’re doing wrong. Mainly planting certain things too soon or positioning the raised beds in the wrong part of their yards.
I desperately want to say something, but I don’t want to offend them. Is there a flora version of mansplaining? Gardenpreptile dysfunction (<—read that outloud a few times…)?
Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?
Want more confessions? Read more here, here, here, here, here, and here. Or read the whole darn archive here.
True confession:
I am not sure what you meant by GOOP. I will sometimes pretend I know and then secretly google when no one is looking. Seriously I don’t know what GOOP is.
I cannot stand the saying: “you got this” or “you go girl”
When I go to Sam’s Club to get gas the pumps with the gas tank on the driver’s side always have long lines – yet the pumps for the gas tank on the passenger side have no lines. I pull my car up tight to the passenger side pumps and stretch the hose to fill my tank on the driver’s side. It’s like cutting the line but I am not – yet I still get stink eye from people.
It’s a “wellness” company founded by Gwyneth Paltrow. People are ALL in, drank the Kool-Aid about this company. Basically, it is overpriced crap that people purchase to give themselves status.
That being said, I have heard that some of their skincare is decent.
I was an avowed mayonnaise hater for at least 15 years (working in a deli will do that), but for some reason now that grilling season is upon us, I just want hot dogs with mayo and onion. It’s so gross, but it tastes so right 😓
I’m with you on this. I hate mayo but love my uncle’s homemade tartar.
I read Gardenpreptile dysfunction as garden reptile dysfunction and momentarily wondered what you had against lizards…
I have serious garden related guilt atm. I have a plum tree that I moved about 3 years ago. Since then nothing but lush green growth no blossom, no plums, no nowt. So for the last year or so whenever I have not been alone in the garden I have pointed to the tree and said in portentous tones “See him? If he doesn’t produce next year he is out!” (Gardening Crowley style). This year soooo much blossom. Just before a serious cold snap. I felt like a) I had to apologise to the tree for the threats and b) explain that whatever the result of the cold snap his efforts had been noted. I still feel guilty…. Pretty sure the tree gives no frogs whatsoever.
Ha!
Listen, sometimes plants need to be threatened if nothing else works. You didn’t cause that cold snap!
Well, one thing to confess is I can’t handle drivers who can’t seem to merge or use traffic rounda-bouts … i lived in Seattle a while back and all the neighborhoods have roundabouts usually and it is really not that hard, but man are drivers duh’uhs and especially when a road or highway sign says merge, they lose all faculties I suppose. Next confession is I get tired of many younger people and I mean around 25 to 45, who can’t take pain??? So many complain about the littlest discomfort, I don’t get it, were they that mamby-pambied? I know I used to raise my eyes to my parents talk of what they went through…. but geesh, I have been through a lot of discomfort too (surgery, dental problems, childbirth, etc.) in my life so what the heck…I never took or didn’t start taking prescription drugs for every little thing.
100% on the roundabouts. It says yield, not stop. Yield!
For the meds thing, I agree with you but also think it is a societal shift. If you look back at where the opioids crisis started (in the 90s, with doctors freely prescribing it for everything because the financial benefit was so good), that is how my generation grew up. It was also the time of doctors having less time to spend with patients due to managed care. When something is wrong, you get a pill and it is fixed and you’re out of their office so they can see the next patient.
I grew up in a “rub some dirt on it” kind of family, so 95% of the time I will pound water before I take anything (and even then only an Advil). Troy likes to joke that if he had a bone sticking out of his leg I would probably say “well, did you drink enough water today”? He’s not wrong…
Troy has a bad back and when he goes to the doctor, they never really ask why it is sore or what he has tried (stretching, massage, etc.); they just prescribe something. Get them in, get them out, onto the next patient.
I saw this with my mom in the last year of her life too. When she was depressed her doctor legit asked her “do you want something to make you happy” as opposed to “let’s find you, someone, to talk to”. I fully support meds when they are the answer, but it seems like no one (patients or in the medical field) has the time to pause and really see if there are other options to try first.
In conclusion (of this giant essay), there has been a societal shift in how meds are doled out, combined with no one having the time to get to the root of the issue, plus the medical field getting pressured into prescribing things. And the people who came to age in this era are the first ones to personify the shift.
Add to that the way I understand the American health care system as working: if you don’t have insurance, taking a pill is the cheapest / easiest way of dealing with the pain. Insurance will tell you there’s no need to find what’s causing the pain, if the pain stops with a pill. Finding a root cause for pain? Too expensive. Fix it will a pill and create a dependency on drugs. It becomes an epidemic and say ‘ can’t be the fault of insurance companies!’
My “praise hands” are raised high in the air right now, Andree!
I love your humor!
Thanks for reading! 🙂