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Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started! 

A woman with a finger up to her mouth saying "shhhhh"

Confession 1

We could solve climate change in the amount of time it takes Bennett to get out of the car. This child has ONE speed, and it is not fast.

Troy and Bennett are both introverts and internal processors. Jack and I are extroverts who process everything quickly and on the fly. Neither way is right or wrong; it’s just who we all are.

On family walks, it is an immediate pairing up and Jack and I will be a mile ahead before we realize that Troy and Bennett are still in the driveway looking at a potato bug.

Confession 2

Why are Midwestern states called the midwest? Why not the “far east” or “mid country” something like that? Many of those states are in the Eastern time zone and are much closer to the east coast than the west coast.

Yeah, I’m sure a lot of it has to do with how much of the country was actually in the US during the early days of the founding of the United States. But aren’t we past that now? Midwesterners, what do you want to be called? Tell me, and I’ll adopt it.

Confession 3

Anytime my podcasts accidentally get bumped to 1.5 or 2x speed, I think something is wrong with me. I was just listening to Dateline and it was normal, and then all of a sudden Keith Morrison is talking incredibly fast. Did I just have a stroke? Am I dying?

Confession 4

I have a VERY very high belly button. I never realized this until as a teen a peer pointed it out and then made fun of me for it. Ah, the teen years.

But this high belly button caused me so much dang grief while pregnant. When they do external measurements to test baby growth, the belly button makes a good visual of what is “normal”.

With both babies, I had more “let’s just double-check just to be safe” ultrasounds ordered by my medical team than I care to admit. It got stressful, especially when I was a first-time mom.

We’re 100% done with kids, but if I had ever had a third, I would tell the doc at my first appointment “I’m really tall, with a long torso and a high belly button. I have big healthy babies with perfectly round heads who have lots of room to stretch out and I will never look more than 6-7 months pregnant. Let’s just agree that things will appear weird and not “normal”. 

And if you think I’m fibbing about having lots of room for big babies to stretch out, you can see what I looked like the day I went into labor with Bennett in this old post

Confession 5

This is such a petty complaint, but I hate when you are streaming a show and can’t skip the intro credits. I don’t need to watch the opening 200 times while making my way through a nine-season show.

Confession 6

I am a planner, but from time to time I resent being the “cruise director” of the family. I resent that everyone else gets to roll out of bed and look at me and said “so, what’s the plan for today”. Just once I want to say “you tell me”.

Confession 7

Our grocery store sends a lot of reminders when you place an online order. You get both emails and texts reminding you to pick it up a few hours before your scheduled time.

Then about 30 minutes before your pick-up time, you get another “tell us when you’re on your way” text. I am signed up for these communications because it is also how they get in touch with you if something is out of stock.

But as someone who rarely forgets anything and almost never flakes on others, I want to be able to check a box that says “yep, I got it and I will show up. Swearsies.” when I place my order.

I want the automated system at the grocery store to recognize me as someone with excellent follow thru. I will get my stuff. Worry about the others. I’ll be there.

Confession 8

The non-apology apology is running rampant in our current society and I want it to stop. I see this in the media when public figures “apologize” and I see this in my own life.

If you start out an apology with “I’m sorry if you were offended”, I’m out. I’m done and I’m not listening anymore. Remove the if and just apologize.

There are PLENTY of times in my life when I have said I am sorry to someone and thought it was really dumb that I was apologizing. Maybe I didn’t mean something in the way I had said it, or maybe they definitely interpreted it incorrectly. But what do I win by arguing that point? Nothing.

It doesn’t matter my intention, it matters that what I did hurt them. Do I want to be “right” or do I want to acknowledge that sometimes I get it wrong? And yes, it is not easy. This mindset has taken me probably 35 years to develop.

 

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

Want more confessions? Read more here, hereherehereherehereherehere, and here. Or read the whole darn archive here.

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15 comments on “Confessions”

  1. No. 6 is me. I like being the planner but I really wish somethings got planned for me every once in a while. It would be a nice change.

  2. Ok heres mine.
    1) Why does carob even exist??? I heard it’s “It’s sweet and has a unique taste” yeah well that unique taste fuggedabout it. What is the point of it? What’s wrong with chocolate being pure cacao mixed with sugar etc.?

    2) “To be honest with you”, or “Truthfully. Etc.” Which is what I don’t like to hear coming from another individual. What, do they usually not tell the truth? Eff that.

    3) Flowers grown to look good but with no smell, what is the point of roses without the rose smell, I suspect the rose flower essential oil people want roses to be bred without smell so they can only be the ones to extract the essential oil (which costs a sh’’t ton) from roses they specifically have produced for them.
    ok, thats all from me.

  3. #6! When we plan vacations and my husband says “What do you want to do?” my answer is always “I don’t want to have to decide.” I don’t mean that I don’t care – I do care! I mean I want you to figure it out taking into account what everyone likes and dislikes, what it costs, how long it will take… Then repeat for lodging, food, activities…

    I grew up in Michigan so I like Great Lake States for any that touch the lakes, even Indiana where I live now. There were times in the last few years where I felt like I was living in the “middle finger”… That’s probably not appropriate to adopt as your new name for us, though, is it?

  4. I moved to Indiana 20 years ago and yeah, we’re not midwest. That’s for the Dakotas, Kanasas, etc. I hear us refereed to as Ohio Valley at times, or Great Lake region would work, but only the tip of our state touches a great lake, so it seems weird for the rest of the state. I get we were Middle-West when the main part of the country was the East Coast and we’d only gone as far as the Rockies, but yeah, let’s update that. North-East Central? Nah, that’s too long! 🙂 Its a VERY large part of the country that gets lumped into Midwest, but we’re too nice to be bitter about it. 😉

    • I agree with all of this! I’ve lived in the “midwest” almost all my life (North Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma) and I’ve never understood states on the east side of the Mississippi River being called the “midwest”. I don’t have a good solution, but it would be great to find one!

  5. In re Confession #2. 
    I am 30 years removed from the “Midwest.” I have lived outside of the “Midwest” longer than I lived “in country.” 🤣 Yet, whenever I am flying “home” to visit family and/or friends, any (Midwestern) airplane row mate immediately identifies me as “Midwestern” in conversation.  I think it’s great. Happy to be a (majorly displaced) Midwesterner! 

    In re Confession #6
    I too am the Julie McCoy of the family. On those rare days I am not feeling it I simply instruct the family to make plans/cook dinner. The family pulls together and the results are awesome. I am left to read a book/take a nap on the terrace or do whatever is suggested (we’ve gone axe-throwing, and visited an alpaca farm recently! Way fun!), and something is inevitably thrown on the grill for dinner. I think the family likes being “in charge” occasionally!

    Now for my Confession. I have “confessed” previously that I am not loving our current posting for myriad reasons. This is another reason. Now that spring has sprung, alas, *all* of my neighbors have had their mega-yards Chemlawn-ed in the past couple of weeks. The aroma in the general neighborhood air is gross; and on walks with our dog I have to steer him away from the not-a-color-found-in-nature lawns lest he pick up granules in his pads and lick them later. We have only lived here 18 months, but I am certain it is just a matter of time before the neighbors start “talking” about us and our *natural* lawn. 😬

    • I hear you, Victoria. We easily have the worst lawn on our development, and it is because we refuse to have it sprayed. Of course, every spring, we get numerous visits from guys just in the area, treating my neighbor’s lawns, eager to sign me up. One guy refused to give up until I told him he should find comfort knowing that I wouldn’t sign up with his competitor either.

  6. I agree whole heartedly with #6! Why is it I have to make every decision you don’t want to make? Please, someone just tell me what you want for dinner tonight. Please, someone tell me where you want to go to dinner – even if you don’t have a preference, just find a place.

  7. #6!!! Ay-effin’-men!!

  8. #2 speaks to me! When I was a kid from the midwest (living in California) I decided we shouldn’t be from the midwest, because it *wasn’t* the midwest. I told people I was from the middle east. Turns out that’s not the answer either! Living in Ohio now it’s a bit… where am I? Midwest? Northeast? Great Lakes? I don’t know.

    My confession is I want to staple masks on people that don’t wear them correctly. Yes I know they can be annoying but FFS you aren’t the only person in the world (looking at you white men!) and get over yourself already and wear your mask *over the mouth *and* nose*. (Correctly!) Plus, stop taking it off to talk or sneeze or cough. That kind of defeats the whole purpose!!! (And yes I will give a new mask to anyone that has soiled theirs, I’m not a total monster)

    • I’m from Ohio and some categorize us as being in the Great Lakes region. For what it’s worth the US Census says Ohio is in the Midwestern region.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midwestern_United_States

      I never felt like a “midwesterner” because in my mind, those states are Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa and the Dakotas. I always identified more as being from the Great Lakes region.

      When I lived (briefly) in New England, I learned everyone there thought Ohio was completely populated by farmers. I was asked, seriously, if I knew how to milk a cow. When I said no, the guy said, honestly confused, “I thought everyone in Ohio knew how to do that.” (My grandfather was a farmer, but I grew up in the suburbs!) When I was moving back to Ohio, some of my coworkers were honestly perplexed as to what exactly I would do for fun in Ohio. “Like do you have cities?” Ah, life in a flyover state.

    • I was behind a guy at the grocery store and he pulled down his mask and sneezed into his hands. And continued on without even a courtesy wipe. I was cringing and fighting my southern lady instincts not to be rude but then I thought, “Screw it. I’m going to be rude and change lines. He’s gross and I don’t care if I often him. He’s offensive.”

      A mask haiku:
      Your mask goes over
      Completely your mouth and nose
      It’s been a year now

  9. I dislike the “I’m sorry, but…” that people use. “I’m sorry, but *insert excuse for bad behavior*”. If you feel you had a valid excuse for your behavior then you’re not truly sorry!

    I tell my kids if they use that opening then they are sorry butts.

    There’s a scene in “Ice Age: Meltdown”, I think, where a mammoth says to another mammoth, “I’m sorry if I offended you” and the other characters yell, “THAT you offended her! THAT you offended her!” and my kids like to trot that out when they hear the “I’m sorry if…” in a show or on the news. Ha!

  10. Oh #6! Just once I want to be able to sleep in for half a second and have someone else run the show. Then I feel guilty for that because as a sahm, isn’t it technically my job to run to ship? But, yeah, sometimes I resent it. So when my mom comes to town, sometimes I do let her take over. Then I resent that. 

    *sigh*