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Confessions

If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.

Let’s get started!

A woman with a finger up to her mouth saying "shhhhh"

Confession 1

The boys are super into watching America’s Funniest Home Videos. I do appreciate the videos that capture people doing hilarious and ridiculous stuff inside their homes. Thank you for sharing this moment for my enjoyment.

But am I the only one who is creeped out AF about having video cameras INSIDE your home? I guess it could make sense if you have pets and need to keep an eye on them while you’re at work. But all other explanations weird me out hardcore.

Confession 2

My beloved teal watch band finally broke, but thankfully, I had purchased a multi-band pack over two years ago. The only colors left were black or pink (I think it is the obnoxiously-named “Millennial pink” color). I hate pink.

I think I secretly love this watch band though. I’m not very girlie and this tiny pop of pink has added a feminine touch that is missing from my life.

It will not last long at all though. A light-colored band will not survive in my world. I’ve already had to scrub it clean after cleaning out the wood stove and working in the garden. I’m the reason we can’t have nice things.

Confession 3

Last fall (maybe Septemberish?), I had the weirdest interaction with a reader on Instagram. In fact, it was so odd that I am still turning it over in my mind.

I had posted a silly slo-mo video of Bennett stacking and busting through a few 12-packs of toilet paper. A few hours after posting it, I had a DM (direct message) from someone asking why I was hoarding toilet paper.

I explained that I wasn’t and that I always had this much TP on hand. My parents had been Costco shoppers from way back, and I just grew up with a big stash at home. It is my normal. I mentioned that the fact that people DON’T always have a ton of toilet paper at home caught me off-guard during the TP rush last spring.

She told me that toilet paper was still really hard to find where she was (over 1,500 miles away…) and that me having all that toilet paper was considered hoarding. I told her I was sorry that it was still such a struggle but mentioned that our stores were fully-stocked and nothing was in short supply except yeast. And in fact, the toilet paper my kid was playing with had actually been purchased pre-pandemic.

I then was treated to a lecture that perhaps if other people shopped like her (never buy more than you need, and don’t hoard items), then perhaps nothing would be out of stock. I could picture her lecture being written with some pearl-clutching with a haughty sniff.

I again told her that toilet paper was flowing freely in our stores and actually, I hadn’t purchased any for 6+ months, and thus my established TP stash was not contributing to any pandemic buying. But the lecture continued about why I was basically ruining society.

I finally just told her to have a great day and stopped interacting. I knew this interaction was not about me. It must be so frustrating to need something and not be able to find it. Fall was still a stressful time in many areas for lockdown. Her anger needed an outlet. 

But here’s the thing. I’m not here to be your outlet. Call a friend, family, or a professional. I’m a human being who is here to help you make fantastic meals for your family in under 30 minutes. I might make you laugh along the way, but my main goal is to improve your life and help you come up with a wonderful pantry-inspired dinner.

You’re an adult and I am not your punching bag.

Confession 4

I listen to a lot of investigative podcasts, and I’m not sure how or when the hosts got the memo that you’re supposed to take long dramatic pauses while talking. Half the time I’ll be out walking and think my earbuds have run out of batteries or my phone stopped working. Just speak normally!

Confession 5

I promote my blog in lots of recipe-sharing Facebook groups. They’ll have names like “Simple Weeknight Dinners” or something. Everyone is there to discuss and share recipe ideas.

Which makes it so infuriating when people respond “google it” or “check Pinterest” when people ask for recipe suggestions. Um, the whole point of this group is to share recipes that YOU like. You literally joined to share recipes.

Confession 6

In the “before times” I used to take the kids grocery shopping unless of course, I could avoid it. One day we were in the produce section and I was getting ready to choose a container of greens.

Jack insisted we get spinach or baby kale and then Bennett started yelling that he wanted arugula. I realized that in the history of this grocery store this was probably the bougiest conversation that had ever happened.

Confession 7

I’ve never seen When Harry Met Sally.

 

 

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess?

Want more confessions? Read more here, herehereherehereherehere, and here. Or read the whole darn archive here.

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28 comments on “Confessions”

  1. I understand that this is not a major revelation or epiphany, but that is arguably the worst part of social media- the belief that you are entitled to comment anything from behind the safety of your computer screen or smart phone. More often than not, it is not something you would ever say to someone to their face, especially not in those words or in that tone. It’s the judgement and chastisement and on occasion, the unsolicited advice. With that said, I can sometimes see how it would be so easy to fall into that trap when some influencers/bloggers/vloggers make these sweeping statements about “how I would never…”

    I have a hard time watching AFV anymore. Sometimes what is captured looks legitimately painful or dangerous. Sure, some of the content is funny but there is not enough of it to make up for all the scenes where it looks like someone may have broken his neck, or something equally wretched.

    I’m honestly sorry that you never watched When Harry Met Sally. It’s not because it was the greatest movie ever made (or even close to it) but for movies that old, they just don’t transcend. They will never affect you the way that they might have had you watched them in your later angsty teen years or early adulthood. Also, the whole movie is just one giant anachronism now. I have a girlfriend who never watched any of the John Hughes movies growing up. Although I desperately want her to watch and fall in love with them, I also don’t want her to watch them in case she doesn’t.

    • I completely agree. And it makes people feel that they get to dictate how you react. Nope, I’m not playing that game. Not today, Satan!

      Jack was similiar with AFV at first and even now gets very cringy at some videos. There will be ones we all collectively groan about and say “omg that had to hurt”. But I will say this, we tell Jack that the people it happened to are the ones who sent it in, so they’re probably ok. And given Troy’s five-year stint on the crew for reality shows, we can tell that MANY of these videos are planned and faked.

  2. #1. My husband is fearful of running out of toilet paper. One of his biggest fears in life. HUGE! Everytime he goes to Costco, he picks up a package. He is NOT going to run out. At the start of the pandemic last March, I counted how many rolls we (and by “we”, I mean just the two of us . . . empty nesters) had not currently in use . . . 96! And he actually had a major meltdown. He knew we were going to run out. I gently explained to him that was not going to happen. Then, his brother called and talked to him . . . they were down to their last four-pack of toilet paper. My husband told him that we were in low supply as well and couldn’t help them. I snuck them a twelve pack. My husband found out. He has yet to forgive me.

    #2. I have not seen most popular movies over the last several years. I cannot sit that long without getting antsy. I cannot even watch movies at home. Or 1/2-hour TV shows. But, I have seen The Bad Seed and Harold and Maude each more than the number of fingers and toes I have. See #3.

    #3. I have no idea who 90% of the popular U.S. actors/actresses are (and I know I am supposed to call all of them the collective “actors”). I don’t like U.S. movies and television shows. But I like British programmes. Refer back to #2.

    #4. My driver’s license expired in August . . . I still haven’t gone to the DMV to take the written test and get the license renewed. I am going to blame it on the pandemic.

    • Wouldn’t even help his own brother out? That’s cold, dude!! Ha! Do you know where his fear stems from? And would he be open to a bidet to give his toilet paper stash a break?

  3. Please correct number 7 immediately! You will not regret it.

  4. I also had a butt-ton of toilet paper pre-pandemic and didn’t have to buy any until about November. #notsorry. What I don’t understand is why I still can’t get toilet cleaner??? Occasionally Walmart will have it so we’re limping through, but I try to avoid the crowded stores.