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It is time to get some things off of my chest.  And thanks to two years of nursing, sadly it can’t be my bra.

-I feel like if I see one more blog showing photos of someone’s house looking like Pottery Barn took a dump all over it, I might explode.  Here is what two patches of my carpet look like, courtesy of the last renters.


I love being organized, thanks to growing up with borderline hoarders.  That being said, the bedroom in our basement is a shithole dumping zone.  My desk is a nightmare of crap shoved in every drawer, and most of my garage makes me want to kick a puppy.  Remember that episode of Friends when it was discovered Monica had the secret hoarding closet?  This is my hoarding kitchen drawer:

 Who needs 4,812 neon green and orange chopsticks?  Me.  That’s who.

-I desperately want a house cleaner, but it would likely be wasted money, since I know I’d clean the house before he/she came.

-When I’m sad, bored, or feeling like my life is out of control, I online shop.  I’m trying to be better, and I talked myself off of the ledge the other day from buying a lawn mower on Amazon, simply because my lawn is long right now, and I don’t want to use my push mower because I feel lazy.  And we have a really small lawn.

-I would love to change my blog name, get my own domain, and produce an amazing fabulous site.  However, I’m so lazy right now, the name title would likely be titled “Yoga pants.  Phish Food.  Killing Seedlings.  And Ponies”.  (trademarked)

-Those bears on the Charmin commercials creep me out.

-I wonder why I get so many pageviews, but so few comments.

-I feel like that plastic bag on American Beauty – being tossed in so many directions.  And white.  And flat.  I go from wanting to quit my job and blog full-time, to thinking I should go to grad school because I see no room for advancement at my current company.

-I want wood floors, despite the fact that we could never afford it.  Troy, the man with asthma and who is allergic to everything, wants carpet.  Disgusting, nasty, dust mite love-shack carpet.  Jack got a plasma car for his birthday from his Auntie Anne.  I tried using it as a justification that we need wood floors.

-The weather here is amazing this week.  I saw a man driving a Miata with the top down, and rocking driving gloves.  M’kay.

-Every night, I kiss a sleeping, sweet, wonderful Jack, and promise that tomorrow I will be the momma he deserves.

No later than 6:15 am the next day, I’ve already told him he is driving me nuts.  Go me.

Ahhhh, confession is good for the soul.  That felt good.  Surely, you’d like to share a few things too?

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77 comments on “Confessions”

  1. I’m a a quasi lurker.. although I have posted a few comments here and there when it strikes me. But I almost always read (96% of the time) your blog. The only reason I might not.. is if I am in email overload and just don’t have time. I want to hire a house keeper also.. I even brought it up to my husband once.. but that idea got soooo slammed down it wasn’t even funny. I would have found the money in our budget for it. So that isn’t the problem. The problem is he doesn’t want anybody (strangers) in our house touching our stuff (it isn’t like we have nice stuff). I feel soo overwhelmed and unhappy with the cleanliness and tidiness of our house it isn’t even funny. But there isn’t enough hours in the day for me or him to tackle it (not that he would truly see what needs do be done) along with everything else that HAS to get done. So our house always gets put on the back burner.

    We have 16 rental properties. So it always seems like they are getting cleaned, but it is much easier to clean and paint an empty house. I work full-time and handle the rents, books, taxes, deposits, showings, move-in, and move-outs, he is a SAHD that gets our 6 and 8 yr girls off to school everyday (with packed lunches), gets them from school, rehabs any new properties we buy (1-3/yr), does the cleaning, repairs and painting at turn-overs, and handles on-going maintenance issues at the other properties.

    The true reason I am overwhelmed is we just have off a 4mon rehab where I try to get home from work as soon as possible so that he can leave to go work on the rehab. I try to give him every spare moment. So then the girls travel with me with whatever I have to do. Then we had tax HELL!!! And at the beginning of April we had one house abandoned and 2 tenants turn in 30day notices and the 4mon rehab was just finishing up. So that meant I had to figure out how I was going to deal with the abandon property and get possession back (without getting sued). Finish the stupid taxes without filing an extension. And get ready to advertise and show 4 place. Do you know how many calls 4 open places will generate!!! I am soooo sick of talking to people. In addition to missing case flow from 3 places that were rented that was helping to float rehab costs.

    And of course during this time our house has slid into a pit because I haven’t had the time to do anything other than the basics and nor has my husband. The basics entail no rotting dishes in the sink, the trash taken out, food in the frig, and semi-clean clothes since everybody is responsible for their own laundry.

    Here is the true confession… Yes I lost it. I make my 6 (kindergarten) and 8 (2nd grade) yr old do their own laundry. I refuse to do it. After the 3rd time of them sending clean clothes down in their dirty laundry basket, I told them if they didn’t care enough about their clothes to make sure that they got put up then they could take care of it all themselves. So really I lost it 3 time and the final time I carried through with my threat.

    I would also like to throw out about half of the crap in my house. And 3/4 of the girls’ crap. I am drowning in CRAP.

    I didn’t mean for this to get sooo long and I went back and decided to post anonymous instead of deleting it all.

    • Holy shit girl, you must be exhausted! I hope the light at the end of the tunnel is near.

      If it makes you feel better, my sis and I did chores at about the same age. We had to do everyone’s laundry, and even cooked dinner occasionally. I think it is great that they are participating in the household!

  2. I generally don’t comment anywhere because I’m always afraid my comments will sound dumb. Or someone will have just made the exact same point, but more eloquently, and I missed it.

    My confession? I’m terrible with money, and my unfortunate money habits and unfortunate diet habits are pretty much the same thing. If I’m extremely vigilant about keeping track of my spending or my eating, I can do OK. But if I slip once, it’s like all bets are off and it just snowballs. And I can’t seem to do both at the same time, which is why I’ve been eating well and even exercising lately, but I have $17 to last me until payday.

  3. I just stalk because it’s fun, and I’m the kind of person who nods or shakes their head while on the phone and expect the other person to understand. I also talk too much and think telepathy really does work!

  4. Hi, Sarah. I’ve been reading your blog for a couple years, but I’m a lurker – probably only commented 3 or 4 times. I read your posts Monday-Friday mornings when I get to work. It’s a bonus on Mondays because I get your weekend posts, too!

  5. Long time reader, long time lazy comment writer here! I read in my email feed on my phone… will work to improve my lame efforts!
    Love your work 🙂

  6. Loved the honesty. It’s so refreshing! I’m with you on the “you’re driving me nuts” to the kids 4.2 seconds after I vowed to myself to never, ever say it again. Oops!

  7. im a big fan!! you could call me a lurker(someone mentioned that above. im on my kindle and its not that easy . i can relate to you on many levels. my husband is a fireman/paramedic near chicago. he was in paramedic school when i had our daughter and it was exhausting and we were low on $$. i felt like a single parent. things will get better, eventually, its like crawling out of a deep hole, suddenly your like how the hell did i get in a hole?!?!? wtf.. love your language by the way its nice that your uncensored. My daughter is 19 months and getting allergy testing on weds, so many issues, its bad because im excited for answers… when did you find out for your son?

  8. I am so technologically behind, it’s not even funny. I follow blogs but don’t often comment because I don’t really know how. Is there a commenting for dummies? I could also use Pinterest for dummies, too. I love your posts, especially this one. My house still has generic contractor paint on most walls. I’ve had paint chips taped to my bedroom walls for three years. My spare bedroom is where I throw all the stuff I’m putting in the yard sale that I’ve been meaning to have for over ten years. We’ve lived in our house for three years and still haven’t done anything to the backyard. And the charmin bears? OMG, I hate them so much. I won’t even buy charmin with a coupon because of them. Glad you’re back…and glad to read your confessions.

    • Another confession: I don’t really understand Pintrest. No clue how to use it.

      Commenting on blogs are different depending on the platform. Blogger, which I use is probably the stupidest, least user-friendly. So consider yourself accomplished for commenting!

      I think you should post the paint chips, and we’ll all decide for you. Done and done! ;-D

  9. Loved it! thanks… I am constantly wondering how I can get more comments on my FB page too! I have only just subscribed, but I enjoyed your last post or two! new to this blogging concept… I know, where have I been?

  10. Man, everybody loves you! I don’t think I’ve ever told anybody that I keep a rock from the funeral of the eight year old who died of brain cancer – Eli’s cousin from LA. Whenever I think I’m not doing well or something’s not going right I hold the rock and remember what’s important. I keep it in my purse always, even when I change purses for a night – and when I get a flash of it, it reminds me to reset my priorities and my mind.


    • Ahhh Anne, I never knew that. What a great message and a reminder.

      And I’ve seen your tiny purses; that must be very special to you.