Confessions – January
If you’re new here, welcome! Confessions are the posts where we unload pure silliness onto the world to unburden our souls and have a few laughs.
- I can’t tell you how many times someone has said “oh I saw you at (fill in the blank store) the other day, but I didn’t say hi. You looked like you were on a mission”. People, that is just how I walk. I walk quickly ok. Walking with purpose isn’t a bad thing. Stop laughing at me because I’m a fast walker. I don’t judge you for being a slow walker.
- I just lied. I totally judge slow walkers. OMG, get out of my way. And if you want to walk that slowly, at least move to the side of the aisle. And so help me God if you’re going to be pokey, move your damn cart out of the middle of the Costco aisle. I don’t think I own the store or walking paths. But I do think we all need to pull our heads out of our own asses and realize that there are other people around us. And being a butthole and blocking aisle is a dick move.
- How do you sleep in pants? No seriously, how do you do that? My legs would feel like they are suffocating in the sheets and the fact that they would get tangled up would drive me absolutely i-n-s-a-n-e.
- I don’t understand the term “Friendsgiving”. Why can’t it just be called Thanksgiving? The day is about celebrating with those you love and being thankful for our relationships. Isn’t that basically what you’re doing at “Friendsgiving”? Why does it need its own name?
- Have you ever noticed that most grocery stores have an aisle label that says “International” and then another label that says “Asian”? Why isn’t Asian considered part of the International cuisine? I need to know because I can never figure it out.
- Jack, Bennett, and I take a daily gummy probiotic. There seems to be a pink grapefruit flavor, lemon, berry, and grape. Jack and I find the lemon boring…so that is the only flavor we give to Bennett. He thinks he is getting candy and is so pleased with himself every morning.
- All of the celebrity perfume/cologne ads creep me out. That one where Johnny Depp buries all his stupid jewelry in the desert confuses me. And the Gucci Guilty ads with Jared Leto make me want to immediately take a shower. My eyes feel so unclean. Out damn spot, out.
- I don’t get bullet journals. Is it a journal? A list? What is it?! I love making lists and taking notes, but the pictures of these I see on Instagram makes me think they are multi-purpose or something. Please tell me!
- I really like the movie Open Range. I don’t like westerns, but this movie is fabulous. Starts slowly, but holy smokes it is fabulous.
- When I was in sixth grade I played Tonya Harding in a school talent show. Boom.
Ok, there you go! Your turn. What do you need to get off your chest?