Confessions – August
It is confessions time my friends! The time we unburden ourselves of the silly and release the embarrassing.
- I hate the term “sunnies”. They are sunglasses ok? SUNGLASSES. You could even call them shades if you want to. Just stop being a douche.
- Many days I like my kids better when they are sleeping. Most days perhaps.
- The amount of contempt I have for people who lean their seats back on airplanes cannot be defined by mathematics. Now, an international or cross-country flight? I get that. But a two-hour flight and you can’t sit up straight? I and my 6-foot tall body HATE YOU. I’m married to someone with a bad back. I also get physical issues thanks to my parents, m’kay. But if you’re perfectly healthy and lean your seat back on a short plane ride then you deserve to be arrested by the air marshall.
- I still feel my kid’s chests when they are asleep to make sure they are alive. And I think that by kissing Jack 4 times on the forehead and Bennett 28 times on his fat little toddler face that it will keep them safe from harm in the night. And no, I don’t love Bennett more and thus bestow more kisses on him. He was born on the 28th and Jack was born on the 4th. Duh. This is science people.
- You know how if you hold your finger on a photo on your iphone it will show like the 5 seconds before and after it was taken? It’s called the “live” function and it is super cool. Easily 99% of the time I cannot make it work. It isn’t my phone because Jack and Troy can do it just fine using my phone. Troy says it is because I have dead lifeless hands. He may be onto something. They are unnaturally cold. Each October thru March he recommends I volunteer at a burn unit offering relief to patients.
- Someone who lives two streets away from us has a mystery tarp in their yard and I MUST know what is under it. At first, I assumed they were killing grass to eventually plant a garden, but after a few months, they moved it. And they keep moving it! It’s covered in an old tire and some 2×4’s to keep it weighed down. WHAT IS UNDER THAT TARP???
- When I was like eight or nine I was shopping with my sister and mom. We were doing normal things – Target and Costco run and my mom wanted to go to a certain grocery store nearby because they had bananas on sale. Long story short, right before we went in I somehow got my finger slammed in the trunk of our 1989 Ford Taurus (read: heavy AF vehicle). It hurt so much and I was sobbing! We were right next to a McDonalds and my mom got me a cup of ice and told me to stay in the car while she went to get the bananas. I couldn’t believe we weren’t going home because my finger hurt so badly. She just shrugged her shoulders and said “but they’re a really good deal”. My tough love empathy and frugalness comes from her.
Alright friends, your turn! Unleash your inner silliness.
Want more confessions? Try this one, and this one, and this one too.
Agreed. Saying sunnies in the US is like trying to make fetch happen.
Bwahaaa, excellent reference!
Ellen has a hilarious bit on reclining seats on planes. Something about charging for dental work? And then on the other extreme is the flight attendants who act like it’s a matter of life or death if you don’t bring your reclined seat up before the plane lands. She pretended to be an investigator surveying a crash scene and saying, “Ah, poor fella. He didn’t survive the crash because his sit was in recline position.” ????
So very true Marly! It is quite snuggly on those planes and people just make it worse.
I’ll start by saying I’m old, early 70s, and while I truly try not to be overly critical it annoys the he– out of me when people have to shorten words to appear cool – sunnies, vacay, shrooms, maters, etc.
People who are not aware of others’ space are a real sore spot. I’m not handicapped in any manner but I routinely see those who are being scrunched by others in checkout lanes, store aisles,etc. Always wonder if they would want their grandma treated like that.
My other BIG gripe is service dogs/animals that are not. A southern grocery chain is cracking down on these people. If you don’t want to leave your pet in the car because of the heat, don’t bring them with you! I have personally ,over a period of 5 years, seen a dog pee in the garden section of Lowe’s, another slobber on the candy at the checkout in a grocery and another leave fleas at the teller’s in a bank.
Situational awareness is so important in life and you’re right, so many people just don’t have it!
Jack and I saw some interesting “service” animals at the Denver airport during our trip this summer. As someone who knows how important certain services are to people who need them it is very frustrating to see people take advantage of the system.