Confessions – August
It is confessions time my friends! The time we unburden ourselves of the silly and release the embarrassing.
- I hate the term “sunnies”. They are sunglasses ok? SUNGLASSES. You could even call them shades if you want to. Just stop being a douche.
- Many days I like my kids better when they are sleeping. Most days perhaps.
- The amount of contempt I have for people who lean their seats back on airplanes cannot be defined by mathematics. Now, an international or cross-country flight? I get that. But a two-hour flight and you can’t sit up straight? I and my 6-foot tall body HATE YOU. I’m married to someone with a bad back. I also get physical issues thanks to my parents, m’kay. But if you’re perfectly healthy and lean your seat back on a short plane ride then you deserve to be arrested by the air marshall.
- I still feel my kid’s chests when they are asleep to make sure they are alive. And I think that by kissing Jack 4 times on the forehead and Bennett 28 times on his fat little toddler face that it will keep them safe from harm in the night. And no, I don’t love Bennett more and thus bestow more kisses on him. He was born on the 28th and Jack was born on the 4th. Duh. This is science people.
- You know how if you hold your finger on a photo on your iphone it will show like the 5 seconds before and after it was taken? It’s called the “live” function and it is super cool. Easily 99% of the time I cannot make it work. It isn’t my phone because Jack and Troy can do it just fine using my phone. Troy says it is because I have dead lifeless hands. He may be onto something. They are unnaturally cold. Each October thru March he recommends I volunteer at a burn unit offering relief to patients.
- Someone who lives two streets away from us has a mystery tarp in their yard and I MUST know what is under it. At first, I assumed they were killing grass to eventually plant a garden, but after a few months, they moved it. And they keep moving it! It’s covered in an old tire and some 2×4’s to keep it weighed down. WHAT IS UNDER THAT TARP???
- When I was like eight or nine I was shopping with my sister and mom. We were doing normal things – Target and Costco run and my mom wanted to go to a certain grocery store nearby because they had bananas on sale. Long story short, right before we went in I somehow got my finger slammed in the trunk of our 1989 Ford Taurus (read: heavy AF vehicle). It hurt so much and I was sobbing! We were right next to a McDonalds and my mom got me a cup of ice and told me to stay in the car while she went to get the bananas. I couldn’t believe we weren’t going home because my finger hurt so badly. She just shrugged her shoulders and said “but they’re a really good deal”. My tough love empathy and frugalness comes from her.
Alright friends, your turn! Unleash your inner silliness.