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Confessions – August

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It is confessions time my friends! The time we unburden ourselves of the silly and release the embarrassing.

  1. I hate the term “sunnies”. They are sunglasses ok? SUNGLASSES. You could even call them shades if you want to. Just stop being a douche.
  2. Many days I like my kids better when they are sleeping. Most days perhaps.
  3. The amount of contempt I have for people who lean their seats back on airplanes cannot be defined by mathematics. Now, an international or cross-country flight? I get that. But a two-hour flight and you can’t sit up straight? I and my 6-foot tall body HATE YOU. I’m married to someone with a bad back. I also get physical issues thanks to my parents, m’kay. But if you’re perfectly healthy and lean your seat back on a short plane ride then you deserve to be arrested by the air marshall.
  4. I still feel my kid’s chests when they are asleep to make sure they are alive. And I think that by kissing Jack 4 times on the forehead and Bennett 28 times on his fat little toddler face that it will keep them safe from harm in the night. And no, I don’t love Bennett more and thus bestow more kisses on him. He was born on the 28th and Jack was born on the 4th. Duh. This is science people.
  5. You know how if you hold your finger on a photo on your iphone it will show like the 5 seconds before and after it was taken? It’s called the “live” function and it is super cool. Easily 99% of the time I cannot make it work. It isn’t my phone because Jack and Troy can do it just fine using my phone. Troy says it is because I have dead lifeless hands. He may be onto something. They are unnaturally cold. Each October thru March he recommends I volunteer at a burn unit offering relief to patients.
  6. Someone who lives two streets away from us has a mystery tarp in their yard and I MUST know what is under it. At first, I assumed they were killing grass to eventually plant a garden, but after a few months, they moved it. And they keep moving it! It’s covered in an old tire and some 2×4’s to keep it weighed down. WHAT IS UNDER THAT TARP???
  7. When I was like eight or nine I was shopping with my sister and mom. We were doing normal things – Target and Costco run and my mom wanted to go to a certain grocery store nearby because they had bananas on sale. Long story short, right before we went in I somehow got my finger slammed in the trunk of our 1989 Ford Taurus (read: heavy AF vehicle). It hurt so much and I was sobbing! We were right next to a McDonalds and my mom got me a cup of ice and told me to stay in the car while she went to get the bananas. I couldn’t believe we weren’t going home because my finger hurt so badly. She just shrugged her shoulders and said “but they’re a really good deal”. My tough love empathy and frugalness comes from her.

Alright friends, your turn! Unleash your inner silliness.

Want more confessions? Try this one, and this one, and this one too.

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25 comments on “Confessions – August”

  1. Your contempt for people reclining their seats on airplanes is misplaced. Target the airlines, who have crammed too many seats into not enough space, thereby causing the problem you blame on your fellow passengers. 

    • Oh, I blame them for sure! But since there is nothing we can do about it as consumers except take a train, drive or buy a first class seat, having a “we’re all in it together” mentality and helping each other out goes a long way.

      Always placing blame on “the man” without remembering every seat next to you, in front of you, and behind you is your fellow human being allows us to declare it someone else’s fault. When we remove the individual human aspect from our day to day life we allow ourselves to “other” our neighbor.

      So yeah, it sucks that they have shoved us into this space. But we’re all in it and we all chose to buy that seat. It doesn’t mean we need to make it more uncomfortable for the people around us.

  2. First things first, I blame the airlines for insisting on sardine-tin seating — it didn’t use to be this way. Confessions… people who don’t acknowledge a text message because “it didn’t seem to necessarily require a response” make me nuts and they are not allowed to get upset when, after a few of those, I call them instead of sending my thoughts pointlessly into the void. (Uh-oh, I sound like the “you kids get off my lawn guy.”)

    • I remember my first few trips down to Palm Springs to visit my snowbird grandparents. There was a smoking and non-smoking section in the airplane and every passenger got a meal on a tray where each part of the meal was in a shrink-wrapped dish that fit on the tray. I thought it was the coolest thing ever! But being seven at the time it is hard to say how the legroom was. lol.

      Oh my gosh the ghost texts are sooooo frustrating!

    • UGH! I am back to work and kids are still off school… I text them and get no response.. when I get home and start screaming at them they act all put out.. If you cannot respond with a thumbs up, an OK or a simple response.. I might as well take away the phone! Teens!

  3. Ummmm don’t come visit Australia then. We only have sunnies here! And I proudly wear them every day…. Hehehehe

  4. When I was in the summer between 4th and 5th grade, my tribe and I were out on our bicycles and I ended up sprawled in the gravel. Our streets (in NYC!) had no sidewalks, so the street just went gradually into the grass, with some people marking the change with large white washed rock. My friends dragged me home, and my mother spent a long, rather painful, time picking gravel out of my arms and knees. I kept complaining about my arm, but she told me that a nap would be just the thing, and put me to bed, where I did, indeed, nap. Later, we went to Sears. We had a big Pontiac, and back then, to lock the car door, you had to hold down a button while you slammed the door. Doing that sent pain up my arm that turned me white, and my mother caught be before I once again made friends with the blacktop. She dragged me into Sears (there was no carrying me since I was almost as tall as you were at that age) and PUT ME ON A TOILET since we came in the entrance of the plumbing department. She left me to call my Dad (no cell phones) to tell him we were on the way to the hospital, then asked a man who was carting out a TV (which came in a huge piece of console furniture back then) if he could also cart me out to the car, which he did. I’d broken my arm. I was always afraid that I would baby my kids. Nope. I am sorry to say that once I made my daughter wait for a week before taking her to the doctor for a hip injury that was so serious that the doctor incredulously asked me, “Didn’t she complain that it hurt?!” (Um, yes…) “Well, this injury REALLY HURTS!” You know that if a doctor tells you something really hurts and you’ve made your child wait a week, you will have some fast talking to do at the Pearly Gates!

  5. It’s tourist season and I’m full of irritation at all tourists I know you’re on holiday but the rest of us have to work. So on the list are people who stand at the top or bottom of escalators or on the wrong side of escalators (there are signs, stand on the right, walk up or down on the left!), people who try to get on the train before everyone has got off and finally people who think its ‘cute’ to have a picture of their children hanging off the rails on a crowded tube.

  6. You hate “sunnies”,  I hate “vacay”.  With a fiery passion.  I have no good reason why, I just can’t stand it!

    Now I want to know what they are doing with that tarp!

  7. I love my daughter but some days my introvert mind just needs some quiet and my kiddo never stops talking. So yes, it is sometimes like sweet, sweet relief when she goes to bed. 

    My confession is that I hate going to the park with my kid. If there are other kids there it’s a little better, but if there aren’t any, she begs me to play with her and I just can’t get into it. I love nature and being outside, but I would rather go on a nice long walk or explore a creek than watch my kid play on a playground. 😬

    • I hated the park too. This is your time. run off. be free. use the playground equipment that is too small for me. this is your time, not mine. I would like to read my magazine, thanks. I watched to make sure no one was beating up my kids (lovely children in my town) and that they had not gone on to the next area of play items but I don’t want to go on the equipment with you. it’s your equipment.

  8. People who don’t have situational awareness drive me bonkers. Like, pay attention to your surroundings and have some courtesy for the people around you. And yes, this includes the reclining person on the airplane for a one hour flight!
    Also, car manufacturers put the blinker knob on there for a reason-please signal you are turning BEFORE you’re halfway through the turn.
    Please park in the middle of the space, so I have room to open my door without damaging your vehicle or having to compress my fat butt way more than is possible.
    Inside voices, adults, INSIDE VOICES. I can give kids (especially wee ones) a pass on this most of the time, but the adults ought to know better.

    But in the spirit of not being a complete complainer, all the people who offer to either a) assist me or b) hold doors for me since I’ve had to use a walker (spine surgery) are ANGELS on this EARTH and no one can tell me different. So many people, from little kids clear up to grandpa age, hold doors and or offer to help that it warms my frozen heart

  9. One time years ago I was grocery shopping with my son. I think he was a preschooler, I can’t remember his exact age. He was riding on the bottom rack of the cart…which I know your not supposed to do but we were getting close to the end and he was tired so I caved. I told him to be careful and keep his hands in his lap but of course, he didn’t listen and got his finger/s run over by one of the cart wheels. (Thus the reason they don’t recommend kids sit there!) I quickly grabbed some frozen veggies I didn’t need and finished my shopping. Needless to say, he always remembered that!

  10. So I guess cause I’m short I’ve never really been bothered on a plane with other people. Also I hate flying so I may be too terrified to notice. I DID notice last time I flew the woman in front of me threw her long hair over the top of her seat and it was all in my space. As in I couldn’t use my tray for a drink or her hair would have been it it. Part of me wanted to get water and gently gather the hair and put it in the water 😉
    Confession: I live in Lancaster, PA. I know everyone thinks the Amish buggies are so charming to see along the roads. Living here, not so much. Just got back from a walk and had to dodge all the road apples. Gets very old. Also driving and avoiding them is a PITA. 
    My hubby: this week I’ve had to restrain myself from hurting him. I can’t stand his chewing at meals. SO loud!
    Also he’s driving me nuts with his non stop obvious comments. “It’s windy out. They are hanging wash. You made supper. “  Non stop obvious. Not sure if it just started or I just started noticing.  I’ll keep him tho 🙂

    • Oh my gosh, the hair over the seat? Gross!!! I’ve seen people take off their shoes and on an international flight, people would go into the bathrooms with just socks on. GROSS!

      The comments and chewing would drive me mad too Jan.

      • Oh Sarah! You and Australia would not get along. My daughter and I just came back to Australia from the US. Plane was full of Aussies. Most not wearing socks OR shoes. Yep, that includes in the bathroom.

        In small towns in Australia, most adults walk around town barefoot. I live in the city and we never do that. It disturbs me when we go on holiday. At the grocery stores, grown men are walking around barefoot!

      • The airplane thing just really grosses me out. Barefoot in stores? Oh lordy.

  11. I’ll start by saying I’m old, early 70s, and while I truly try not to be overly critical it annoys the he– out of me when people have to shorten words to appear cool – sunnies, vacay, shrooms, maters, etc.

    People who are not aware of others’ space are a real sore spot. I’m not handicapped in any manner but I routinely see those who are being scrunched by others in checkout lanes, store aisles,etc. Always wonder if they would want their grandma treated like that.

    My other BIG gripe is service dogs/animals that are not. A southern grocery chain is cracking down on these people. If you don’t want to leave your pet in the car because of the heat, don’t bring them with you! I have personally ,over a period of 5 years, seen a dog pee in the garden section of Lowe’s, another slobber on the candy at the checkout in a grocery and another leave fleas at the teller’s in a bank.

    • Situational awareness is so important in life and you’re right, so many people just don’t have it!

      Jack and I saw some interesting “service” animals at the Denver airport during our trip this summer. As someone who knows how important certain services are to people who need them it is very frustrating to see people take advantage of the system.

  12. Ellen has a hilarious bit on reclining seats on planes. Something about charging for dental work? And then on the other extreme is the flight attendants who act like it’s a matter of life or death if you don’t bring your reclined seat up before the plane lands. She pretended to be an investigator surveying a crash scene and saying, “Ah, poor fella. He didn’t survive the crash because his sit was in recline position.” 😂

  13. Agreed. Saying sunnies in the US is like trying to make fetch happen.