Confessions – May
If you’re new around here, confessions is a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment. I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it.
Let’s get started!
- I resent the low flow toilet flushers that are in public restrooms. Yeah, I said it! You know those toilets with green handles where you push down for liquids or push up for um, non-liquids? This set up is ASS backward my friends. FACT: more people pee in public than poop. FACT: everyone uses their foot to flush those toilets. FACT: nobody wants to lift up that flusher with their foot while wearing flip flops.
- I’ve never seen Lady and Tramp all the way through. I know there is a pasta scene and that’s about it. And I’m not the least bit sorry about it.
- A few weeks ago, I was in the car and passed a new construction site. I yelled “EXCAVATOR” to get Bennett’s attention. Only to realize I had already dropped all the kids off at school. Rad.
- One of my biggest fears is that people think I’m lazy. I find it terrifying!
- When I was little I was a hot mess when it came to coloring with markers. I would get them all over my hands and arms. I looked like a walking canvas. My mom used to rub Comet into my skin with a kitchen rag to remove the marker. Comet. Powdered bleach. That being said, I don’t think I’ve been sick in three years, and I probably only missed two days of school total kindergarten through high school. Maybe she was onto something? But just so we’re clear: don’t put bleach on your kids!
- When Troy and I lived in Los Angeles he worked behind in the lighting department on television and film sets. He worked on a season of America’s Next Top Model and he came home super excited one day saying “they have a model who looks like you! She’s built like you and looks like a normal person”. So excited. Well…when that season came out, they marketed her as being the first plus-sized model on the show. I think she was a size 10?
- After my mom passed away, I’m a bit hazy in everything that occurred in the week after. But, I don’t think hospice ever came and took the narcotics away. I think we still had some super heavy meds in our hospice kit. That seems suuuuuuper dangerous to me considering the prescription drug crisis in this country.
- A few weeks ago, Bennett was being a total asshat. Three-year-olds truly are the devil. Jack (10-year-old) knows how to push all the buttons of both Bennett and yours truly. Anyway, Troy was at work (he works 24-hour shifts) and I was 100% over being a parent. Totally done. Bennett was taking a shower at the end of the night and flipped his shit over something mundane (Didn’t like the washcloth I gave him? The soap didn’t bubble exactly right? Who knows. #3yearolds) and was out of control. After trying for a few minutes to get him to calm TF down, I finally snapped. I grabbed the shower head and sprayed him in the face like he was a cat scratching the couch. Sure, it wasn’t the mature thing to do. No, I don’t regret it.
Alright friends, your turn!