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If you’re new around here, confessions are a time for us to all unburden ourselves of the silliness we’re feeling at the moment.

I share dumb things, then you share dumb things, and we all have a better day because of it. Let’s get started! 

A woman with a finger up to her mouth saying "shhhhh"

Confession 1

Being a food blogger means having to interact with the trainwreck that is humanity on social media. Primarily, Facebook groups. Sharing our recipes in these groups brings us traffic and traffic means ad income.

Two of my recipes create conflict every single time I share them. Now, I just sit back with some snacks and watch while people act like they have forgotten how to be adults when I share my Air Fryer Texas Toast or Instant Pot Cilantro Lime Rice.

The name “Texas toast” makes people LIVID. Accusing, me, a very non-Texan, of thinking I “invented garlic bread”. And apparently, sharing an ingredient with cilantro must be like asking people to swear allegiance to some sort of cult.

Buuuuuut, people throwing proverbial elbows on social media over recipes does create engagement and thus more people view my site. But also, chill people. It’s food. Eat it or don’t. Live your life.

Confession 2

Our washing machine basement flood really hurt my nerdy heart for the dumbest reason. Given the extra energy we had to use for the industrial heaters and dehumidifiers, we spent down the banked solar credits from our solar panels.

I really looked forward to hitting the end of the solar billing year (March 31st) with exactly a $0 balance. But noooooooooooo, we had to have a stupid flood.

And yes, I charged insurance for the extra power that we used. But it’s not the same. I wanted a gold star in solar generation.

Confession 3

I have the Peloton app (not the bike) so that I can do workouts in my living room. The app randomly suggested a workout for me one day, and it is probably my favorite one ever.

The instructor, Logan, was brand new to me but I instantly fell in love with him. He has one arm and started off the video by welcoming us to “ARM and shoulder day”. These are my people.

For anyone new here, my dad is an amputee and my mom was in a wheelchair for the last 10 years of her life. Dark humor around health is very on-brand for my family.

Also, nice work Peloton on hiring people who don’t fit the traditional fitness influencer mold.

Confession 4

Since my hysterectomy, I have implemented “ghost periods”. As in, I choose two days during the month to pretend I am PMSing and then I eat allllllll the candy and junky foods I am craving.

Ok, friends, your turn! What do you need to confess? Want more confessions? Read more herehereherehereherehereherehereherehere, and here. Or read the whole darn archive here.

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11 comments on “Confessions”

  1. OK, here we go. I love my husband, enormously. Love of my life. 87% of him is perfect. But I’ll bitch about that last 13%. He’s not a scientist; I am. And that automatically makes me the expert in ALL things. So he thinks. I used to take that on, do research, etc. to answer his concerns, questions. He’s in great shape, for someone his age. But he worries about his health anyway, and over the years, had me avoid fat of any kind. OK. Then it was sugar. OK. But he’s ramped it up. Now he wants to avoid fat, sugar, salt, meat (except fish), carbs, dairy, eggs, aaaaand soy. I am at a loss as to what to cook for him. And I love to cook. We are still working this out, and he’s not a total abstainer, thank goodness. But I finally had to tell him to look up his own recipes, do his own research. I’m done, folks.

  2. Can I confess that I would not be sad if one of the many Raptors in my neighborhood would make disappear the two cats that neighbors let roam? These cats perch in the bushes and try to eat the lovely song birds that visit my feeders. It’s #CircleOfLife, right?

  3. Having worked in an ER for 7 years, Dark Health humor is my love language. I just have to learn to reign it in a wee bit with non medical folks. #knowyouraudience
    Transferred to a Dr’s office after spending the last 3 years dealing with COVID on the daily along with the regular ER issues and now listening to my co-workers gripe and whine about alllll of the things makes me want to drive a pen into my ears. I know that they don’t have my perspective, but holy cats.
    Took a class 2 days a week since August, finally completed it. Now I don’t have a built in excuse to avoid things I don’t want to do.” Oooo, sorry, can’t volunteer….I have class/need to study for an exam”. Time to rejoin the world 😉

    • Awww, I know that was your dream job. I’m glad you saw it out until it wasn’t what you needed any more. I hope the new gig is chill and safer.

  4. I am a non-native Texan.  I once went to a conference in Michigan where there happened to be a large group from Alaska.  I had never before known that apparently Alaskans have a lot of animosity toward Texans.  Something to do with pretending to be the largest state when obviously it’s Alaska??  I’m the first to admit that Texans have an inordinate amount of state pride and have earned the stereotype of obnoxiousness.  But there are over 300 days of sunshine where I live so I’ll take the trade off!

    Post-hysterectomy I still have ovaries, on which I plan to continue blaming an occasional “Why do I have to do everything around here” rant and subsequent junk food medication!

    • I have never heard of this rivalry before! How very interesting, but now that you say it, I get it.

      I still have my ovaries too, and I fully support this plan of yours!

  5. I am retired and so is my husband. I don’t have to sneak anything anymore. My husband can’t hear and farts a lot. So I can say what I want. Sometimes I find myself talking to the cat and using cuss words when I want. I wish our bathroom had a bigger fart fan and thehubs would remember to turn it on. Maybe I need a remote control for it so that I can turn it on from the other side of the house? Since his retirement he has turned by Beautiful patio full of plants, flowers and fountains into a storage for tools, a huge beer fridge, neon beer light, and dirt, lots of yard dirt. He also make me laugh all day, make spontaneous decisions, and drops me off at the door when its cold outside. I love him. This was fun, funny and a laugh all day long! ~jackiesee~

    • “I don’t have to sneak anything anymore.” That’s great! We’re empty nesters and a decade or so out from Retiree status. It’s just the two of us and a rescue Hound, who has enough natural stink to go around. 🤣

    • I love this! Michelle Obama was doing a lot of interviews a few months ago before her book came out. She talked about how she pretty much hated everyone, including Barack for the first 10 years of her kid’s life. But now that the girls are gone, she has more time to enjoy what she likes and therefore doesn’t resent the freedom that he had.

      It’s so refreshing to hear people talk about the next phases in their life and realize we’re never stuck in a scenario for too long.